13 Years of Happiness

by Marinka on October 25, 2010

Today is thirteen years since the day that I made Husbandrinka the happiest person alive by marrying him. Well, I mean the happiest person with the very huge exception of my parents, of course, although perhaps they were more relieved than happy. It’s hard to say. Their screams of THANK GOD, and FINALLY THE GOOD LORD HEARD OUR PRAYERS made it difficult to pinpoint their exact mood.

Our wedding was fantastic.

It was at the United Nations chapel and we were married by a judge. Because Husbandrinka thought that his Bible-loving family would appreciate a benediction, we also asked a minister to administer what we had hoped to be a “low-key blessing.” You know something along the lines of “bless you all, peace on earth, let’s all drink some of this merlo-, I mean, blood of Christ, Amen!” Unfortunately the minister agreed to our instructions as a way of being polite only and then proceeded to do a type of sermon that would have made Jim Bakker blush. I was a little sorry that he didn’t start speaking in tongues.

But no matter.
No amount of godliness could ruin our special day.

Papa walked me down the aisle.
Our vows went off without a hitch, except for the part that I seemed to have suffered a mini-stroke and couldn’t get the “or poorer” part out. And then we had a great party at a place that is now houses EATALY, the super-expensive Italian carbfest. The best thing about it, you know, besides celebrating our love and shit, was that it was right by the Flatiron building, so we got to have our wedding photographs there.

There are moments that I’ll remember forever (or at least until I get dementia, God forbid, tfu, tfu, tfu). Beautiful moments of dancing with my father and grandfather. Of laughing with my in-laws. And of seeing my best high school friend and noticing that Holy Shit, why were her boobs so enormous. Oh, she got a boob job, And she told me that they feel fantastic. And we snuck into the bathroom and I got to feel them. I’m guessing that it’s an acquired taste. And I decided right there and then that I’m never getting fake boobs. It’s really great to start your marriage on the right boob.

But as wonderful as my wedding was, it really paled compared to the marriage.

I know people say that marriage is hard work, but that hasn’t been my experience. And unfortunately, due to my personality, I have to credit Husbandrinka. Because he has been incredibly easy to live with. I don’t want to nauseate you with all his fine qualities, but I will say this: He loves me just the way I am and has never tried to change me. Ever. He has been supportive of everything that I’ve done (although to be fair, I don’t do very much). He has never once cursed at me, or been disrespectful.

He’s probably planning to kill me.

So, happy anniversary to us. I could live a century with this man.

__________________________
UPDATE: I need an immediate divorce. Because mere hours after I wrote this LovingTribute, Husbandrinka sent me an email about a dinner that he had in Paris with some friends, and included this:

Your blog came up and we were looking at it on Adrian’s iPad. I see you are not beyond fabricating entire conversations with
me.

What the fuck?

First of all, Husbandrinka has never, not once before read my blog and I don’t understand why the first time that he does read it have to be in a Parisian restaurant on Adrian’s iPad. Second of all, what the hell? I have never fabricated entire conversations with him or with anyone else.

So, enraged, I called him to ask what he was talking about.
“The one about how I wouldn’t do Phase One of South Beach with you then took off for Paris.”
“Well, did you do Phase One of South Beach with me?”
“No.”
“And where are you now?”
“Paris.”
“A-HA!”
“But the way you wrote it looked like it was verbatim.”
“What because I had quote marks around it?”
“Yes, because of that.”
“Quote marks don’t mean that I’m quoting literally. It’s just to give flavor. See?”
“Yes, I see. Thank you very much for explaining it to me.”
“You’re welcome.”

One year ago ...

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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

Donna October 25, 2010 at 2:33 am

Happy Anniversary. Sorry about the upcoming divorce. Easy come, easy go, right?

Reply

Lady Jennie October 25, 2010 at 2:59 am

I’m giggling. We’re off to the Loire Valley on Thursday to celebrate our 10th. It seems all anniversary celebrations must take place while at least one of them is in France.

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Scary Mommy
Twitter:
October 25, 2010 at 6:13 am

Eh, it was good while it lasted. Think of the blog fodder a divorce would bring!
(Happy, happy day, you big sap. xox)

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Vicki
Twitter:
October 25, 2010 at 6:32 am

Happy Anniversary! Did you know that the 13th anniversary is lace? You could start by giving Husbandrinka a nice lace tablecloth, shyly hinting at the fact that he will be in charge of making dinner for the next 13.

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Sophie@Fabrications October 25, 2010 at 10:45 am

I didn’t get any lace. I want lace. Um, don’t let my husband read this.

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traci October 25, 2010 at 6:40 am

You know how passionate I am about those acronyms like ‘LOL’, right? I laughed so hard at Husbandrinkas response. I am pretty sure the exact same thing has been said from Tony.

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christy October 25, 2010 at 7:48 am

Happy Anniversary! My marriage has never been work either – I feel sad for those who say it is…And this one made me giggle – especially the update. So funny!

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Pauline
Twitter:
October 25, 2010 at 8:05 am

Happy Anniversary!

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Kathy October 25, 2010 at 9:02 am

Happy Anniversary!

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hokgardner
Twitter:
October 25, 2010 at 9:13 am

Happy 13 years. May you have many, many more.

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GrandeMocha
Twitter:
October 25, 2010 at 9:38 am

Happy Anniversary! I think you should get your immediate divorce & then immediatly get married again. Your next wedding can be even more fantastic!

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Glamamom
Twitter:
October 25, 2010 at 10:36 am

Happy Anniversary!

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CSY October 25, 2010 at 10:46 am

Happy Anniversary!!! My husband and I are celebrating 14 years today!!!

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annie October 25, 2010 at 11:17 am

Happy Anniversary! It’s like you’ve already written my anniversary post for me (Nov. 13th) so thanks. Especially this part:

“He has been supportive of everything that I’ve done (although to be fair, I don’t do very much). ”

Would it be ok if i just link to you in a couple weeks?

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Whitney
Twitter:
October 25, 2010 at 11:37 am

Congrats! Happy Anniversary!

I love the divorce update as well! Such timing!

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Finn
Twitter:
October 25, 2010 at 11:46 am

Happy Anniversary!

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Keyona
Twitter:
October 25, 2010 at 11:58 am

Things can change drastically! Is there a prenup?

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Kimberly October 25, 2010 at 12:15 pm

I regret telling my husband about my social networking. Cuz now with everything he’s all why don’t you blog about THAT and I want to punch him in the face.

But happy anniversary to you!

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Yuliya
Twitter:
October 25, 2010 at 1:20 pm

What does he mean “your blog came up” like someone vomited it?
I resent that on your behalf and will testify at divorce proceedings if need be. (For a small fee of course)

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joeinvegas October 25, 2010 at 1:43 pm

A lot of quotes around that last conversation . . Just sayin’
Happy Anniversary! (even with him in Paris without you)

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Satrina T October 25, 2010 at 3:41 pm

Happy Anniversary! Today’s my anniversary as well but in my case is only 2 years of married bliss.

PS: I love your blog 🙂

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Peajaye
Twitter:
October 25, 2010 at 4:12 pm

He’s in Paris, really? Has he offered you any material evidence of this? I mean, I thought there were riots and strikes and no gas and stranded travelers and bans on Americans currently in Paris. Not that I want to ruin your lovely anniversary, but the misinterpretation of your blog (now that he has finally gotten around to reading it) might be the least of your concerns, no?

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Chrisor
Twitter:
October 25, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Happy Anniversary! I was hoping you’d post one of your wedding pictures! That is ironic that the place you had the reception is now EATALY. Now that your hubby has read your blog, be sure he will be checking it regularly for accuracy. Husbands always want to be portrayed in the best light possible, even if it isn’t truthful. 😉

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dusty earth mother October 25, 2010 at 10:38 pm

Happy happy day, Marinka and Husbandrinka!

And “I see you are not beyond fabricating entire conversations with me” made me laugh very, very hard.

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Vanita
Twitter:
October 26, 2010 at 12:14 am

Don’t worry dear, husbands are a dime a dozen here in NYC. I’ve had two in the past 13 years. 😀 We could hit the clubs and find you a cutie who’ll not only do South Beach with you, but will also never go to Paris without you! 😉

Just kidding, Happy Happy Anniversary! What’s a marriage without a bit of drama to fuel the fires of passion?

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Hally October 26, 2010 at 1:59 am

Happy Anniversary!!!

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Coco
Twitter:
October 26, 2010 at 7:26 am

Congrats. Sounds like you keep your husbandrinka on his toes…. Very funny. Love reading your blog.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
October 26, 2010 at 1:25 pm

happy anniversary! i want to be in paris!!

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anymommy October 26, 2010 at 7:40 pm

Ah good, now I can just have matt read this when he wants that explained to him. Thank you. Happy Anniversary!!

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Tracie
Twitter:
October 26, 2010 at 10:21 pm

Well, thirteen years was a good run.

I think he owes you a trip to Paris to make up for that whole quotes thing. Then maybe he can have a loving tribute next year.

Reply

Helena
Twitter:
October 27, 2010 at 3:55 pm

Happy Anniversary! And my condolences on your divorce…

Reply

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