From the monthly archives:

June 2008

The Apes I’m Not Sure About

June 19, 2008

My daughter just asked me if she were American or European. American, baby! “But all of my ancestors who were humans came from Europe.” She got me there, I must admit.

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Don’t look at me, kid, I was ready!

June 18, 2008

My son is fuming because he has to wait until Saturday to turn 7. This is unfair. He doesn’t understand why he couldn’t have been born a week earlier. I am so prepared for this question, because I had spent the 10th month of my pregnancy asking myself the same thing. I did everything–I even […]

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Text Message From My Daughter

June 17, 2008

I got this text message from my daughter, sent from her babysitter’s cell phone: Mommy did u find the rushin candy behind the computer because me and [insert brother’s name here] found it. And ate it. The “rushin candy” is the candy that my mother brought over from Russia. For some reason, there is a […]

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Splish, Splash

June 17, 2008

Yesterday, I took my kids swimming at the Y for open family swim. The kids wanted to play swim tag, with me being “It”. How hard can it be, I figured? I am at least twice their length (to say nothing of width) and I’m a faster swimmer. So they raced back and forth within […]

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Sure, Just Let Me Harvest an Ovary

June 16, 2008

Here’s an email that I received from a local cake goddess in response to my needing a Pokemon cake for my son’s wedding, I mean 7th birthday: If we did a sugar pokemon on top a cake the cost would run $850 not including delivery. Where is the party being held, would you like to […]

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Happy Father’s Day, you patriarchs!

June 15, 2008

Please tell me at what age children generally assume full responsibility for Father’s Day? Because at 9 and 6, mine are not there yet. Well, my daughter helped me make bacon and eggs this morning, a job that every other Sunday of the year is relegated to Mr. Marinka. And she did a great job. […]

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Method Shopping

June 14, 2008

My husband and kids went to Costco today. They bought gigantic things. Like this “refill” of Method hand soap. I assume it’s supposed to refill the Nile River if it ever dries up. My husband said that the kids really wanted it. Which is true. Because they are still fighting over where we are going […]

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Let Them Eat Cake (because I can’t take another bite)

June 13, 2008

Last Saturday was my daughter’s 10th birthday party. You’d think that it would coincide with her 10th birthday, but that would show how little you know about NYC birthday parties, my daughter, and me. Her birthday is in July, but after years of 1.4 people being able to attend her summer birthday party in the […]

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