From the monthly archives:

January 2009


January 21, 2009

So yesterday, my kids were overwhelmed by patriotism and excitement and when it was bedtime, my son decided that the day wouldn’t be complete without an official portrait of President Obama. From memory.  He ran into his room after telling us “it’s a good thing that I have brown markers” and then there was a […]

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Weekend in Review

January 20, 2009

This weekend, my kids went to the dacha with my parents. Dacha is a Russian word that means “summer house out in the countryside” where many Russians would go to stay on the weekends. Or maybe in the summer. Not all at the same house, everyone would have their own house. I don’t mean that […]

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January 19, 2009

Here is a brief yet exhaustive list of circumstances under which you would find me on a cruise ship: 1. I am dead and my torso is being transported to a watery grave. 2. I have been sold into freckled slavery and am being moved to my new destination.  (Hopefully, this destination has a full […]

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A Sick Fuck

January 18, 2009

I had dinner with a girlfriend the other night and she mentioned a friend of hers, an elderly man that she’d known for years.  So I had a brilliant idea. “Hey,” I told her, “Why don’t you Anna Nicole Smith him?” My friend didn’t think that the idea was quite as brilliant as I did, […]

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Don’t Touch My Hair, You Hetero!

January 16, 2009

Although many of them are my friends and I have nothing against them in principle, no way in fucking hell am I going to let a heterosexual-American touch my hair professionally. If you are not sure what I’m talking about, I recommend looking at your hair in the mirror and then donning a hat until […]

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January 14, 2009

I’m pretty sure that The Moron’s Guide to Blogging says that you’re supposed to write blog posts that keep everyone in suspense, but let me just get to the money shot-I had a mammogram this morning and everything is fine. There. You can leave the post now and not worry about me. (It’s entirely possible, […]

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Stand Up for Champagne

January 13, 2009

If you’re like me, you really like to watch TV and get massages. But if you’re like other people, you are looking for small but meaningful ways to make this world a better place. Maybe one of your New Year’s resolutions was to get more involved with a cause you believe in–whether it be to […]

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I’ll Just Sit Here and Look Pretty

January 12, 2009

When Husbandrinka and I got married, I decided to be all-feminist and “pull my own weight” in the relationship.   Which would have been fine if I weighed twelve pounds.  He outearned me a margin of kazillion to one, and also I wasn’t much of a housekeeper, or a cook, now that you mention it, […]

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