Available for Bar Mitzvahs and Weddings

by Marinka on July 29, 2008

My husband and I have no musical talent, so our kids are trying to redeem the family name by taking piano lessons. My daughter has finally graduated to something classical, and she’s been working on Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring which sounds vaguely homoerotic and also is “Jesu” Jesus’ nickname or something? Because it seems really informal to me. But the piece also has some kind of biochemical effect on me and it makes me feel very depressed. The good news is that the melancholy-inducing notes are interspersed with her piercing “Oh GOD! How much longer do I have to practice?” cries every thirty seconds. All things considered, I’d rather she keep banging away at Jingle Bells, but I’m worried that if I ask the piano teacher for something more upbeat, he’ll immediately start blogging about how some parents of the kids he teaches are huge morons. And I have a reputation to protect, after all.

My son has been playing A Happy Song, which really sounds like something you’d play while recovering from a nervous breakdown, but hey, happy is good! Except he edited the title a little, to “A Dumb Song”. And then he caught me laughing at it, which is pretty much a guarantee that he will work in “dumb” into every song title from now on. Jesu help me.

One year ago ...

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Quart July 29, 2008 at 4:17 am

That’s exactly why I never, ever laugh at my kids.

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Marmite Breath July 29, 2008 at 5:07 am

We have that same music book from when Hadleigh took lessons. I was taking lessons too, from this lovely sweet young woman named Denise. I had to quit the lessons because the urge to say FUUUUUUUUCK after I played a wrong note was too strong, and I knew her little ears would not be able to handle it.

A Dumb Song is fantastic. Your son sounds hilarious.

Sadly, I am talking about the piano teacher, and not Hadleigh. Hadleigh thinks that “Fuuuuuuuuck” is a perfectly acceptable way for her Mum to express frustration.

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Marinka July 29, 2008 at 6:44 am

Quart- believe me, I try not to. I suck my cheeks in so hard to stop the laughter that I look like one of those silent film stars.

Marmite–please tell me that the book is a sign of genius to come. I’m in awe that you took piano lessons. Or even touched the piano.

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wfbdoglover July 29, 2008 at 6:51 am

You know how in the movies the dog moans and cries when the kid is playing the violin? That’s our dog, when my scout practices.

Count your blessings!

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Melissa July 29, 2008 at 7:34 am

Jesus was Jewish, so he’ll lend a hand in a pinch. 🙂

And let me tell you, my guys started playing violin and cello this summer (I play cello) and I can tell you I have no idea how my parents lasted those first few weeks.

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jennifer, playgroups are no place for children July 29, 2008 at 11:08 am

Yeah! What is Jesu anyway????

This post made me giggle.

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ingrid July 29, 2008 at 11:13 am

lol. fantastic. i remember that feeling well.

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Mama Ginger Tree July 29, 2008 at 11:59 am

Since when do you get to call Jesus by his nickname? You think just because you’re so damn funny you get to be his special friend?

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Marinka July 29, 2008 at 1:13 pm

WFB- you don’t want to know the noises I made when my daughter was taking violin (hint: wood chopping noises)

Melissa–Jesu the Jewsu. High brow humor here, folks! Your poor parents!

Jennifer–I asked my husband about Jesu and he said that it was Latin, but I think he just made it up!

Ingrid–I have a feeling that I’ll never forget it!

Mama Ginger Tree–Jesus and I don’t know what you mean. Do we, Jes?

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anymommy July 29, 2008 at 7:53 pm

Yeah, yeah. You don’t really have an in with Jesu until you get to pronounce his name with an “H.” Those HAY-ZEUS people have a direct line. (Hilarious, as always.)

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Alice July 30, 2008 at 8:43 am

I love it when kids do stuff like that.

BoyChild made a list of things to do the other day, and at the head of the list was ‘bother Mom’.

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Kristine July 30, 2008 at 10:12 am

Nice. I opted for making a casstte of myself practicing and just playing it over and over again, so my mom thought i was practicing, and I didn’t have to. But at least she didn’t have to listen to me bitch about it.

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