Aww

by Marinka on January 29, 2011

I am not sentimental on a daily basis, mainly because I am too busy watching The Bachelor. But there are definitely moments when I realize how much time has gone by since my children were babies, since they needed me for things like getting dressed and getting their breakfast. And although I celebrate my freedom from those tasks, I also mourn the milestones. Because they’re gone, baby, gone and every day my children get closer to leaving me to live their lives, take their risks, make their mistakes and follow their hearts to find the very best assisted living facility that they can afford for me and their father.

Sigh.

And when I get sentimental like that, I look through my box of special items that I want to remember forever. The hospital bracelet identifying them as my babies, the yellow pediatrician’s card that keeps track of their immunizations and growth and various cards and notes that they’d bestowed upon me. I don’t often indulge in such nostalgia, but I did recently. And I found this:

Dear Mommy, I am sorry for calling you an idiot. You're the bested (sic. And FUME) mother ever, and I love you so much! I'm really sorry, I love you

My heart tightened when I read this note from my daughter. I remember it well. She wrote it on a summer day, three years ago after she called me an idiot and I grounded her forever or until she eeked out an apology. It was a hard call for her, but after a few hours she produced the note. And I’m keeping it forever. Because it pretty much means that I’m going to the Versailles of nursing homes.

One year ago ...

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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) January 29, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Hahaha…that’s so cute. Going to BlissDom and meeting all those youngsters also occasionally, and let me repeat that OCCASIONALLY made me sentimental as well. Then I got over it, had a drink, and laughed at the angst. Yeah, I know, I SUCK!

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b.a. seagull
Twitter:
January 29, 2011 at 12:15 pm

went to the wedding of a friends daughter. after the ceremony, father of bride, clearly in his cups, read letters saved from brides first (and last) overnight summer camp experience. she goes from writing that they are heartless ogres to bargaining and swearing that she will get a full time job until school opens. she was 10 at the time. they also have her first retainer saved. getting sentimental can get weird.

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deborah l quinn
Twitter:
January 29, 2011 at 12:52 pm

What’s lovely about parental sentiment is that it allows us to overlook the fact that “sorry” (and the general state of repentance thereupon) is a fairly transitory state. At least in my house. “Sorry” frequently means “I’m really sorry I pissed you off and made you mad at me and I’d like you to stop punishing me so that I can resume whatever activity I was doing before you so irrationally flipped your gourd.”
Wait. Is that being cynical? I promised to give up cynicism for the new year. Okay. I take it back. “Sorry” in my house always means they’ve seen the error of their ways and won’t ever do whatever it is, again.
Or at least until next week.

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homschlr4ever
Twitter:
January 29, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Okay, that’s just funny. In my house, they’re banking on me not remembering whatever they did that made me so upset in the first place. My 19 year old will even call me “Mommy”. They’ve figured the system out to it’s last nuance and I have to give them credit for creativity. Is that cynical? I, too, try not to be. I want to be positive and upbeat but…, I have children.

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GrandeMocha
Twitter:
January 30, 2011 at 11:09 am

Amen! They don’t tell you these things in the baby class.

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Fragrant Liar January 29, 2011 at 12:59 pm

I have no doubt that the sentimentalism will grow over time, cuz once they start having babies, you return to being somewhat gaga over your offspring’s offspring and remembering the days when your own were so small and innocent. And then you will be ripped out of your sentimentalism and stricken with laughter and a sense of deep, abiding satisfaction when you see your offspring receive letters of apology for their kid who called them an idiot. The circle of life at its best and the Universe’s attempt at irony.

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homschlr4ever
Twitter:
January 29, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Have it framed! I love remembering those moments. You know, “Gee, mom you were right.” I was, wow, what a surprise. Now I just get, “I’m sorry you took my comment the wrong way.” and there’s that internal eye rolling that they think I don’t see. But I had them sign contracts stating that they would take care of me in the way I deem appropriate. I show it to them at every possible moment, especially when they want something. So I guess I’ll be seeing you in that French nursing home.

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anna see January 29, 2011 at 9:07 pm

ha! i bet i’ll be in the classy and expensive room next to yours b/c i have loads of ammunition like that.

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vodkamom January 29, 2011 at 9:16 pm

sigh. Yeah, those notes I still have that say “I hate u you r the wrst mom in the wrld” are ones that make me smile.

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Trish@Show and Tell
Twitter:
January 29, 2011 at 10:00 pm

I know I feel deeply sentimental about the constant stream of “gym membership” and “weight loss program” brochures my 8yo keeps collecting for me lately. Apparently she wants to keep me around for a while yet.
Mind you, there’s also the “funeral plan” brochures. Hey, what can I say? She’s a pragmatist.

Trish
xx

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
January 29, 2011 at 10:06 pm

I know once I stop wiping noses and butts and helping put on boots and mittens, I’ll miss it forever.

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Anna
Twitter:
January 30, 2011 at 11:56 am

could i really miss those things? i feel like i won’t, but i’m sure you’re so right. consider your comment my inspiration to bundle up my little ones and take them sledding today!

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Loukia January 29, 2011 at 10:48 pm

That is very touching and definitely something to treasure forever. I often think back to when my babies were, well, babies, and I miss those days a lot. Even though I am still in the wiping bum stage, I miss the babies. Wah! Now I’m thinking… maybe a third? But 99% no.
Anyway, the other day my 5 year old asked his dad how to spell ‘shut-up’. Then he presented me with a beautifully hand-written card that said on it: “Shut up Mommy”. Aw. I’ll treasure that always and forever too. Mostly because of his awesome penmanship.

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dusty earth mother January 29, 2011 at 10:49 pm

There’s nothing that warms the cockles of a mother’s heart than the “I take back my ‘idiot'” love note.

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Braja January 29, 2011 at 11:20 pm

Bested mother/bastard mother….I don’t know….kinda similar…..

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Tracie
Twitter:
January 30, 2011 at 12:51 am

That is one great note right there.

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Keyona
Twitter:
January 30, 2011 at 9:30 am

I’m surprised you let her live after calling you that. See you have such a big heart!

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alexandra
Twitter:
January 30, 2011 at 10:58 am

Your heart hasn’t swelled to it’s fullest till you’ve run the gamut of emotions in a minute of “I hate you, stupidest mama ever!” to “Wait, mama, I don’t know why I said that when I love you.”

Bursting.

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Melanie
Twitter:
January 30, 2011 at 11:04 am

Ah…very sweet. Thanks for giving me perspective. I have 3 kiddos ages 5 and under and at times I feel like I’m going to be in this preschool/baby phase forever.

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Lady Jennie January 30, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I love it! I have my daughter’s note on the fridge. Je taim pa maman. Je taim pa papa. It’s supposed to be “Je t’aime pas” which means I don’t love you. But I love it as much for the endearing sentiment, as for the grammatical errors.

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Hollywood Farm January 30, 2011 at 6:18 pm

This is a sign of good parenting.

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Jill
Twitter:
January 30, 2011 at 11:41 pm

I’m starting to get the notes like that from my in-laws… probably because the last time they pissed me off I told them that when they get older I was going to slap a diaper on them and throw them into the first available “home”…

Funny enough, I’ve never received one of these from my own kids. Hmmm…

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NYCSingleMom
Twitter:
January 31, 2011 at 7:48 am

I havent started going through my 7 year olds sentimental notes, I am saving them for when she is kooky I hate tween/teenager so I can reminisce about the good old years.

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