Bagel Half

by Marinka on January 26, 2010

bagel galf1 300x231 Bagel Half

Wouldn't it be great if you could actually read the text in the corner? Well, if you had bionic vision, you totally could. Can't see how your lack of bionicness is my fault!

Hi! I’m Pear. I’m here with my friends Apple, Kiwi, Banana and Tangerine. Also, our buddy Garlic stopped by. And so did Bagel Half. Bagel Half tries to blend in, but he doesn’t. Bagel Half sticks out like a sore thumb. Marinka doesn’t think that Bagel Half belongs here with us, but Husbandrinka is all, “oh, let it be, I may have it for lunch.” But he never has Bagel Half for lunch. Eventually Bagel Half will become rock hard and Marinka will consider weaponizing it against Husbandrinka. “Every Saturday we go through this.” Marinka says. Marinka doesn’t understand why Husbandrinka just doesn’t eat the whole bagel or throw the half out or put it in some less conspicuous location, like the Louvre. Every week we go through the saga of the Bagel Half and every week, Marinka threatens unspeakable things. Stay tuned.

0saves
If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed.

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

I'm Nate's Mom January 26, 2010 at 9:06 am

“I might have it for lunch” is a big joke between me and my husband when debating wrapping leftovers or tossing them. I almost never have it for lunch, but instead wait until it is so moldy we have to sacrifice the container it was saved in, b/c who wants to clean that? I am also guilty of the leftover stack of pancakes. I always cook all the batter, thinking that someone might like a pancake later, even though they didn’t want one hot off the griddle at breakfast. Then the pancakes sit out for so long, even the dog doesn’t want them.

   0 likes

Reply

Marinka January 26, 2010 at 4:04 pm

I’m happy to know that this is a national issue and that our household isn’t the only one plagued with it.

   0 likes

Reply

Sprite's Keeper
Twitter:
January 26, 2010 at 9:23 am

The only question I have is did it start out as a wheat bagel or end up as a wheat bagel?

   0 likes

Reply

Marinka January 26, 2010 at 4:05 pm

I’ll tell you, but you may be forced to kill me. It is an organic (pretend that the word is italicized) whole wheat bagel. Husbandrinka and I have had many conversations about what the hell is an organic bagel and why does he get an organic one while the kids and I eat the bagel equivalent of roadkill. Now I’m enraged all over again. Thanks.

   0 likes

Reply

kiki
Twitter:
January 26, 2010 at 9:32 am

does Nikki like bagels? she might enjoy that bagel half with a nice “fishy” spread, like salmon paste. take care.

   0 likes

Reply

Marinka January 26, 2010 at 4:07 pm

Sadly, she ignores the Bagel Half. And I don’t mean to alarm you (and myself) but Nicki doesn’t like fish-scented things. I’m going to have to get her evaluated, I think.

   0 likes

Reply

the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
January 26, 2010 at 10:19 am

that is a ridiculous place to put a bagel.

   0 likes

Reply

MommyTime
Twitter:
January 26, 2010 at 11:26 am

That looks like one of those Sesame Street things “three of these things are kind of the same…” where you’re supposed to choose the one that doesn’t belong.

You could tell him to freeze the bagel half in a ziplock. Then he could eat it the next Saturday. VOILA! I just saved you $2 per month in bagel purchases. You’re welcome.

   0 likes

Reply

GrandeMocha
Twitter:
January 26, 2010 at 12:23 pm

My son & I feed leftover bread products to the squirrels on our deck. That irritates my husband because they make a mess. One point for him, one point for me. Passive / agressiveness at its finest.

   0 likes

Reply

Birdie January 26, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Looka would happily consume your unwanted bagel halves. He’d forget all about eating his blanket.

   0 likes

Reply

Sophie January 26, 2010 at 1:54 pm

You are a saint for having to take all this every weekend.

Also – Nate’s mom? I’m still noshing on cold pancakes from Saturday morning. If I stretch them wisely enough, they might last until Friday night! Long live Saran Wrap!

   0 likes

Reply

SoccerMom January 26, 2010 at 2:07 pm

That’s a strange place to put a bagel. Why not put it in a baggie, so it can be eaten at a later date and still be fresh? Is he on a diet? Cause why would you only eat half?

   0 likes

Reply

peajaye
Twitter:
January 26, 2010 at 2:46 pm

i blame the garlic. once you leave that on a fruit plate, you open the door to anything.

re: freezing the bagel – you know, if you microwave it in a moist paper towel, it tastes almost as good as new. (not so much w/the banana, tho.)

or leave it out and make breadcrumbs from it for your eggplant parmesian or meatballs and totally impress husbandrinka’s italian mother!

   0 likes

Reply

Gretchen January 26, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Ack! My husband does the same thing with bananas. He’ll eat half the banana, then leave the other half in the fruit bowl. Like he’s saving it for later. Because bananas keep so well…

   0 likes

Reply

Elise January 26, 2010 at 3:40 pm

I’ll be over to eat that.

Can I have some whipped butter with it too please? And a little Blackberry Jam. Perhaps a double cappuccino too. You’re the best!

   0 likes

Reply

GrandeMocha
Twitter:
January 26, 2010 at 4:13 pm

There was a Seinfeld episode where Kramer runs at tab at Jerry’s and drinks half a can of pop. He says he left the rest for Jerry. Jerry says he has to pay for the whole thing. I tried to find a clip but I was unsuccessful. It was relevant to the half a bagel thing, I swear.

   0 likes

Reply

GrandeMocha
Twitter:
January 26, 2010 at 4:19 pm

JERRY: (holding up a can) Hey, is this your half a can of soda in the fridge?

KRAMER: No, that’s yours. My half is gone.

JERRY: What?

KRAMER: Yeah, I put my half a can here on the tab. Why, what’s your
beef?

JERRY: You cannot buy half a can of soda.

KRAMER: Well, why not.

JERRY: Well, I don’t wanna get into the whole physics of carbonation
with you here, but you know the sound a can makes when you open it?

KRAMER: Yeah.

JERRY: That is the sound of you buying a whole can.

   0 likes

Reply

Heather, Queen of Shake Shake January 26, 2010 at 5:18 pm

I want to know what kind of fucked up house you live in that any carb (ANY!) survives the day.

   0 likes

Reply

phd in yogurtry January 26, 2010 at 8:11 pm

Half eaten bagels are to be stashed in the car glove box for those dash to work, oops, no breakfast again days.

   0 likes

Reply

Ann's Rants January 26, 2010 at 8:19 pm

You should write a book.

   0 likes

Reply

Sophie, Inzaburbs January 26, 2010 at 8:32 pm

I am kind of distracted from the whole bagel debate by the garlic. And the fruit all falling off the edges of the bowl. In fact, is that a bowl at all? I strongly suspect that this photo is staged. Or that Marinka is not the compulsive fruit-rearranger that I am.

   0 likes

Reply

Carolyn Online
Twitter:
January 26, 2010 at 9:20 pm

My husband thinks all leftovers are the work of the devil. He won’t touch them lest Satan himself were to be injested. He could maybe use some meds.

   0 likes

Reply

Noelle January 27, 2010 at 12:27 am

This former New Yorker would kill for (well, pay for) a New York bagel. Send the bagel half to me. Problem solved :)

   0 likes

Reply

anymommy January 27, 2010 at 1:44 am

Husbandrinka wastes NY bagels? Is he aware that there are bloggers starving for NY bagels in Sp****e, WA? He should be ashamed. He might be dead to me.

   0 likes

Reply

Kat @ TodaysCliche.com January 28, 2010 at 3:01 am

Love your blog. I’ll be back for sure. Our blogs are semi-similar; I’d love your feedback about mine, if you have a sec!
http://www.TodaysCliche.com. Thanks!!

   0 likes

Reply

Kate Coveny Hood
Twitter:
January 29, 2010 at 1:53 am

Save them up and put them out for brunch one weekend. I myself have never understood the act of not eating the whole bagel…

   0 likes

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: