Bargain

by Marinka on December 12, 2013

Like most other people who are not complete America-loathing heathens, I’ve been doing some holiday shopping recently. My 12 year old son gave me a multi-volume wish list with annotations like “see me before ordering”. My 15 year old daughter has given me very little guidance, but I am not discouraged. I mean, I was 15 years old only 800 years ago, so how hard can it be to get something fantastic?

So I’ve been looking deep into my soul to come up with the Perfect Gift, and by “looking deep into my soul” I mean Googling shit like “WHAT SHOULD I GET MY KIDS FOR CHRISTMAS PERFECT GIFT FOR KIDS WHAT GOOD PARENTS BUY HAPPY CHILDHOOD.” I tend to use Google as though it were some sort of Ouija board/Oracle and has all the answers.

But finally, with a little help, I made my selections lovingly online and proceeded to checkout. Only to see this.

Screen Shot 2013-12-12 at 7.32.54 PM

Do I want to add a freshly baked cookie smell to my order for $1?

Let’s take a moment here, shall we?

On the one hand, $1 is not very much money. I mean, yes, I know, every penny counts, but a tall Starbucks coffee is over $2 (ok, it’s $2.01 and may be lower in places that are not NYC because we are taxed extra for being the cultural center of the world and also for having Saks; disclaimer, I’m not a taxologist). So I think we can agree that $1 is not very much money, in the grand scheme of things. But…shouldn’t that $1, I don’t know, buy something?

And I’m not implying that a smell isn’t important; I’m no scentology bigot. And yet.

This is when I needed to learn more.

scent

I just don’t know what to say.

Although I would like to know what the return policy on this is.

“I’m telling you, there was no SCENT!”

“It smelled stale!”

“It wasn’t gluten-free!”

“WTF with that oatmeal-raisin scent?!”

It’s all very The Emperor’s New Clothes. But on the ether hand, during this holiest of times, can we afford to give our loved ones unscented gifts?

One year ago ...

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Amy December 12, 2013 at 9:03 pm

This made me howl.

Also, when will you be bringing Photojojo scent technology to this blog?

Reply

susan weinstein December 12, 2013 at 9:09 pm

You could say no, to this marketing manipulation. Like they know you are in the giving mood, so how cheesy would you feel not giving that simulated homey scent with the cute icon, like a cartoon child? Marketing people have no shame, especially online. I would consider going to the feedback box and letting them know how you feel about mind games. Really, made me angry, guess you figured that. But yes, it is post-Orwellian at best.

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Peyton Price
Twitter:
December 13, 2013 at 6:49 am

One dollar is not too much to pay for Christmas magic.

Reply

Mama bird diaries
Twitter:
December 13, 2013 at 7:24 am

The next time you are at the supermarket, give that $1 to charity at check out. And then smell the flowers at the flowers shops on your way home.

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barbara sigelbaum
Twitter:
December 13, 2013 at 10:15 am

Would it give your daughter $5.00 worth of pleasure? Bargain.

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Lil
Twitter:
December 13, 2013 at 12:48 pm

Exactly!

Reply

Alexandra December 13, 2013 at 4:55 pm

SO much to love — The bold “THIS IS FOR REAL ” and the italics of “LITERALLY” along with “It’s scentsational!”

I need a job like that.

Reply

Elisa
Twitter:
December 14, 2013 at 1:59 am

That is WEIRD. Also, I prefer cookie smell to come from, you know, cookies. otherwise it’s just a bit tease.

Reply

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