From the category archives:

Fun with mama and papa


by Marinka on July 2, 2014

I know I’ve been updating less than usual for a while and it’s taking its toll on me too. Obviously the fact that I decided not to write about my divorce is a factor (although please rest assured, it’s all very boring and amicable, no War of the Roses here. Not even War of the Carnations, so you’re not missing anything) but so is the new sense that I have to write profound things.

And I have no idea where that sense about writing profound things came from, although I’m starting to suspect a chemical imbalance/tumor situation. Obviously I hope not because that’s pretty much the last thing I need right now (well, after a French manicure) but I can’t explain it.

But if I’m not writing profound stuff, then this is what I’m writing:

1. My son turned 13 in June, which is completely crazy to me. I’m not one of those people who gets all “where did the time go?” (mostly because I have a calendar) but still, 13 is a big one. And spoiler alert: My daughter is about to turn 16 any day now which, and I’m not mathematician, is even bigger than 13. Good thing that I, myself, am holding steady at 25.

2. The other day Mama, who was at my apartment, called me all alarmed because she found “A lot of cash” in one of the kids’ room. “Where did all this cash come from?” she wanted to know. Now I don’t know what you imagine when you get such a phone call, but I immediately pictured a suitcase packed with hundred dollar bills, unmarked, preferably. And I started thinking about how I would spend it all, under the guardianship theory loosely translated as “all your shit is mine.” I was mid-way through shopping list 2.4, when I thought to ask for a rough estimate of the cash involved and learned that it was $12. Obviously I’m devastated that my kids are running a really low-profit meth lab.

3. I’ve had a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup every day this week. Mostly because they’re so delicious.
And then this happened:Screen Shot 2014 06 27 at 9.14.28 AM 300x141 Update ish

4. I am lucky to have a lot of love in my life. I’ve always been lucky, but I’m feeling a bit luckier now. It’s one of those things that I’m hesitant to write about because I’m afraid of jinxing it (and because I’m a lady) but let me say this and let you read between the lines. I recently had a weekend that I wish on absolutely everyone that I love. There was so much love and laughter that my stomach hurt. Literally hurt, like some kind of an ab workout. And even though I don’t have abs of steel as a result, my stomach now has laugh lines. I’ll take it.

I am going to figure out how to continue to write this blog during this new phase of my life. It’s trickier, of course, but I miss the daily writing. Who knows. Maybe it’ll even be something profound.


No Comment

by Marinka on May 26, 2014

It took me a while, but finally I realized that the comments section on this blog is broken. At first when I saw zero comments on post after post I thought, “huh, no one is commenting!” and while that would make some bloggers despondent, I just took it to mean that everyone agreed with my wisdom and were also rendered speechless by the same. Or at least commentless.

But then I started to get some emails, tweets, and skywritings from people who couldn’t leave a comment and wanted to know what the hell was going on and I had to “I could have had a V-8″ smack my forehead and come to grips that something was very wrong. Irreparably so, apparently.

The problem with having something wrong blog-wise is that it is really the last thing that I need right now. Because it’s one of those problems for which people have very little sympathy and I’m one of those people who doesn’t see the point of having a problem that doesn’t elicit sympathy from people. This is why I highly recommend divorce. You could be having the Best Divorce Ever, really, tripping the light fantastic, and yet everyone will treat you with respect and kid gloves. Incidentally, do you think that kid gloves are made out of goats or are they just really small and ill-fitting gloves?

Oh, right. You can’t answer.

Anyway, I contacted the authorities and hopefully help is on the way soon. Or right after they find the Lindbergh baby, IDK.

Meanwhile, please know that I am living a very full and exciting life and that Mama and Papa are being as adorable as always, except they have been suffering too, as they have been invited to a 3 day destination wedding and Friday night is “smores and sing-a-long” night at the beach with instructions to “bring your own guitar!” and Mama told me, confidentially, that she doesn’t have a guitar and wondered if she should borrow one.

Oh, and my hair is now reddish. Certain friends have suggested that this has Midlife Crisis written all over it, but I just wanted to go back to my natural color.

photo 35 e1401105249687 225x300 No Comment

I’m the one who looks like me, but with reddish hair. The other woman is Sarah, who colored my hair. A former friend who saw the photo thought she was my daughter. May he rest in peace.

When my daughter saw my hair she was delighted and informed me that redheads would become extinct soon, so I knew I was on the right path. My son had a slightly different reaction and gasped, “OMG, MOM, WHO DID THIS TO YOU?” and when I explained that I hadn’t actually beed abducted and dyed against my will, he shook his head sadly at the unexplainable nature of adulthood and murmured something like “it’s just not normal to have your own mom look so different.”

But I can’t go into all of that because my comments section is broken and it would just feel like I’m talking to myself.

So I’ll wait until the comments are working again. Because I love you that much. You should probably write to your Congressman and demand some action on this issue.

UPDATE: Comments are now working. Which makes this post sort of pointless. Unlike all the other, pointed posts.

BTW, if you haven’t checked it out yet, I’m hosting the monthly book club discussion over at Alpha Mom. Come visit me over there, it’s very fancy, with working comments and everything!


Good News and Also Bad

February 23, 2014

Look, you can have the greatest friends, the best support system in the world, but there will be times in your life that you will realize that you are completely and utterly alone. I had that realization over the weekend, after Mama called me to tell me about her newly adopted cat. “Does he even […]

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A Name

February 20, 2014

I planned to spend Presidents Day figuring out once and for all if it’s President’s or Presidents’ or Presidents Day and also watching Scandal, because I’m a patriot. But shortly into my plan, Mama called. “We are going to adopt a cat,” she told me. Their Sly died over the summer. “Stay near the phone […]

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I’m Right, You’re Wrong: Coffee

February 11, 2014

You know how this works, right? Come on, we just had one this month. Can you at least pretend you’re paying attention? Ok, so I’m Right You’re Wrong is a semi-regular feature here where I try to settle a loving dispute I’m having with a loved one, OR THE WORLD AT LARGE, by presenting the […]

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Things I Learned

February 6, 2014

Last year I learned something so shocking that it has taken me up until now to discuss it with you. I learned that literally now also means figuratively. And not just according to people who don’t understand how language works and have been using it incorrectly for years. No. According to the dictionary. This makes […]

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Exciting Business Opportunity!

February 3, 2014

A few weeks ago I had a brilliant idea. It shone so bright that I had little choice but to accept the fact that it was inspired by nothing less than genius. I decided to share it with Mama and Papa and Russian Aunt, Mama’s sister, who is visiting from Russia for a few months. […]

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Learning English

January 22, 2014

I went to the dacha this past weekend with my parents and my mother’s sister, who is visiting from Russia. She has been taking English classes in St. Petersburg so we were excited to practice the language with her. Unfortunately, shortly after her plane landed, she took a vow of silence where English was concerned […]

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