Chili Fairy

by Marinka on June 16, 2010

Scene:  Saturday evening at the Marinka household.  Husbandrinka is making dinner for the family.

Marinka is relaxing with a few dozen episodes of “Law and Order” during which she becomes concerned that she’s coming down with a touch of Alzheimer’s because a lot of the actors look familiar, and yet she can’t place them.

Marinka walks into the kitchen to grab some memory-boosting blueberries.  She sees Husbandrinka, stove-side.

Marinka: Hey, what are you making?

Husbandrinka: Chili.

Marinka: Want some help?

Husbandrinka: I’m good.

Marinka: I can be your chili fairy.

Husbandrinka: …

Marinka: I can help!  Do you need any help?

Husbandrinka:  No.

Marinka:  Chili Fairy is feeling not needed.  Chili Fairy is starting to feel angry.  Chili Fairy is enraged.  You won’t like the Chili Fairy when she’s enraged.

Husbandrinka: We need another can of black beans.

Marinka:  Chili Fairy will check the cabinet for more black beans….Chili Fairy can’t find any.

Husbandrinka:  Just go to the store.

Marinka: …

Husbandrinka: Can you go get it?

Marinka: Who are you talking to?

Husbandrinka: You.

Marinka: Ewe?  This isn’t a pasture!

Husbandrinka: I’m talking to the Chili Fairy.

Marinka:  Sadly, the Chili Fairy is no longer here. She has been replaced by the Chili Muse.

Husbandrinka: I need the beans.

Marinka:  Sadly, the Chili Muse is more inspirational and less action.  But Chili Muse is sure that your chili will be delicious.  Consider using chili powder.

Husbandrinka:  How old are you?

Marinka:  Chili Muse is timeless and ageless.

Husbandrinka: I don’t need any help.

Marinka: Chili Muse doesn’t help. Chili Muse inspires.

Husbandrinka: Go watch Real Housewives or something.

Marinka:  Chili Muse will now retire.  Chili Muse cannot be responsible for this meal.  Chili Muse is now exiting the kitchen.  Chili Mu-

Door slam.

Scene.

One year ago ...

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

The Vamp Tramp June 16, 2010 at 4:36 pm

Maybe Husbandrinka should have checked to make sure there were black beans before starting the chili, rather than take his frustration out on the Chili Fairy/Muse. Sheesh.

Reply

Marinka June 16, 2010 at 4:48 pm

The Vamp Tramp makes an excellent Remedial Chili Counselor!

Reply

soccermom June 16, 2010 at 4:44 pm

It appears that husbandrinka doesnt have a sense of humor?

Reply

Marinka June 16, 2010 at 4:47 pm

Husbandrinka does have a sense of humor but he is not constantly in the presence of a Humor Fairy.

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empress bee (of the high sea) June 16, 2010 at 4:49 pm

personally i’d rather watch the real housewives than go get beans any day!

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Reply

Marinka June 16, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Bee would not make a good Chili Ingredient Fetcher, sadly.

Reply

Holli June 16, 2010 at 5:07 pm

Excellent! Unfortunately in my house the husband would never be found stove-side… anyway, who decides to make chili before checking if they have beans?! Not your fault chili fairy! You were definitely inspirational 😉

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Marinka June 16, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Pinto Bean Chili Defender begs to differ.

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Coco
Twitter:
June 16, 2010 at 5:19 pm

You certainly know how to work it work it….

Thanks for randomly picking me for the iGo Charger. Tell your sponsors they need to give you more freebies…. My daughter now must have one of her own. So…it works.

Thanks again.

Reply

MarathonMom June 16, 2010 at 6:39 pm

I don’t know why husbandrinka was making chili in the summertime….

I think he was trying to catch you in a LIE

Reply

Rima
Twitter:
June 16, 2010 at 7:39 pm

This is precisely why I never dare to step foot inside the kitchen while my husband is cooking. I don’t want to become his chili/pasta/homemade pizza b1tch.

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dusty earth mother June 16, 2010 at 11:18 pm

I’m delighted that “Chili Fairy” is just as bizarre and random as me talking to my husband. (Have I ever mentioned that “Pug Lady” voices the thoughts of her dogs? And once Chandy, our girl pug, ‘asked’ Daddy, “If it were 1942 and my name was Sophie and the Nazis were forcing you to make a Choice–would you pick me or the human kid?” )

I think he also banished me to the TV room.

Reply

the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
June 17, 2010 at 12:10 am

it’s really sad when someone doesn’t appreciate a talented chili muse.

Reply

tomcat June 17, 2010 at 9:12 am

Obviously you were in bitch mode and wehn you asked if you could help, you really meant “why isn’t dinner ready yet.”

Reply

GrandeMocha
Twitter:
June 17, 2010 at 9:46 am

So now you can take the credit if the chili is good and shift the blame if it isn’t. Clearly you are management material.

Reply

anymommy June 17, 2010 at 4:39 pm

I want a chili muse. I’m not so into the chili fairy, she seems like a bit of a pain in the ass.

Reply

Ellen June 17, 2010 at 11:02 pm

In our house, we have The Lean Cuisine Fairy.

Reply

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