OMG, honey, something terrible happened. The freezer made this deafening sound, it was very apocalyptic, and then, are you sitting down and surrounded by loved ones who are not whores? And then it stopped working?
What do you mean it stopped working?
Yes, you’re in shock. Words no longer make sense. World doesn’t spin. What I mean by “stopped working” is that the freezer is broken. It is set on 36 degrees (probably of separation) and I can’t move it to 0, which is when I believe normal things freeze.
Oh.
Yes, oh. And by oh, I assume you mean OMFG, WHY?!? WHY?!? I don’t know why these things happen. Everything was fine, it was a normal day. I was making dinner and talking to a friend who was over for book group, and then the noises started. I tried to ignore it like a normal person, but OMG. It got worse. A lot worse. And not the kind of it has to get worse before it gets better type of worse. Just worse and worse and now it’s totally broken and I am involuntarily defrosting chicken breasts and am also losing the will to live. How can something like this happen? I don’t think I can go on. WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY DO FREEZERS BREAK?
Calm down, we’ll just get someone to fix it.
That’s your solution to everything, isn’t it? To “fix it”. And I’m tired of your “calm down” sexism. Why should I calm down when LIFE WITHOUT MY FREEZER IS NO LIFE AT ALL?!
____________
I think we can all agree that I won that one in straight sets. Whatever the hell that means. (Also, good thing I wasn’t playing Serena.)
On a slightly different topic, here’s a video I made of Young Ladrinka that makes me laugh every time I watch it. It originally appeared on this post, but I can’t resist re-posting it here.
And if you’re wondering why he is so cooperative in the video, it’s because he knows how important my blogging career is to me and also I bribed him with a Madden 13 Xbox game.
One year ago ...
- Theatre - 2013
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: sellabitmum
September 20, 2012 at 11:18 pm
So cute! I love him. Please can we arrange a marriage? My Eloise is quite a catch. I mean I know she’s only 9 and all..but looks much older. Like 10.
ha ha ha that was hilarious! And I feel for your freezer situation cause that is one of my biggest fears that I will suddenly be stuck with lot$ of defrosted chicken that I won’t know what to do with.
I too know the pain of a broken freezer. Perhaps we should start a support group?
Twitter: asideofrice
September 21, 2012 at 8:52 am
I can’t believe Kellogg’s or General Mills hasn’t signed him for commercials yet.
My freezer works fine, when someone who is now tall enough to reach the settings doesn’t readjust the temperature for fun.
Your boy is squeezey.
Twitter: gonnakillhim
September 24, 2012 at 10:58 pm
I want to comment on the freezer, but all I can think about is you putting a soundtrack to my eating. And it scares me.