Crushes

by Marinka on February 9, 2011

The times before my kids go to sleep are among my favorite. Not just because I know that in a few minutes they’ll shut the hell up and slumber off but because of how they are at night. Relaxed and chatty and they say things that they wouldn’t normally say in daylight.

So I decided to exploit it.

“Do the kids in your class have crushes?” I ask Young Ladrinka after he’s tucked in. He’s 9 and the handouts that I found in his backpack from school tells me that crush talk is on the agenda among their set.

“Some,” he says.

“And do you?” I ask.

“Maybe,” he says, quieter than he usually is.

“REALLY?” I am too enthusiastic. “I mean, who?”

“I don’t want to say,” he says. “Besides, it could be no one.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” I promise.

“No, it’s for me to know.”

“I promise I won’t blog about it.”

He shakes his head.

I think of offering him money, but then reconsider. This is not the economy to be throwing cash around.

“It’ll make you feel better to tell me,” I tell him.

“I feel fine, why do I need to feel better?”

“What’s the third letter in her name?” I ask.

He thinks for a while and then says, “No. You’re trying to trick me.”

Of course I’m trying to trick him.

I throw out a few girls’ names and he says “eww” but maybe that’s what he’d say if I’d named her.

“TELL ME!” I say.

“I don’t want to,” he insists.

I should respect his choice, but I’m too nosey.

“Is it a girl or a boy?” I decide to start with general questions and zero in with marksman-like precision.

“It’s a goy,’” he says. “Get it? A cross between a boy and a girl.”

I have my first clue. She’s a shiksa.

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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Yuliya
Twitter:
February 9, 2011 at 10:36 am

And all those Saturdays spent at Shul for what?
Oh what’s that you say? You’re a Passover/Yom Kippur attendance kind of Jew? Well….

Reply

Slow Panic
Twitter:
February 9, 2011 at 10:52 am

my eight year old spent a couple of months constantly talking about a girl in his class who was his sworn enemy. but he kind of lit up when he did so….

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annie February 9, 2011 at 11:47 am

He’s adorable! Can we introduce him to my 9 yr old? Or my 10 yr old?

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Awesome dude February 9, 2011 at 11:50 am

Unrequited love is one of the most hurtful things around.

The mother should not be so nosy and intimidating. The trauma of your intrusion can be very lasting.

The boy may never be able to save some cash and go to the Korean massage parlor or the Russian one

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Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) February 9, 2011 at 11:54 am

she’s a goy = shiksa. And there it is! that’s why i love you…my son doesn’t tell me shit but my girls told me WAY TOO MUCH so i suppose it all evens out in the wash (ironic that i use a laundry metaphor as i DON’T DO LAUNDRY!)

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joeinvegas February 9, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Leave him alone mom. Just be nice.

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Kimberly February 9, 2011 at 1:00 pm

He could do a lot worse than a shiksa.

Reply

Phoenix Rising
Twitter:
February 9, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Last weekend I spent hours interrogating my 9-yr old on who her crush is. She finally succumbed to the pressure and now I know the boy’s name. Is it wrong to feel like I’ve accomplished something?

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Mom101
Twitter:
February 9, 2011 at 6:28 pm

You keep your little womanizing lothario away from my 5 year-old girl. (Whose third letter of her name is A, by the way. Was it an A? It wasn’t an A, right?)

Reply

Lu
Twitter:
February 9, 2011 at 10:31 pm

My son is such a flirt. I’d be thrilled if he picked one girl to have a crush on. Right now he loves all of the girls in his class. I have a crush on Hugh Jackman but that’s beside the point.

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Rlsoo February 9, 2011 at 11:07 pm

That was perfection. Bravo.

Reply

dusty earth mother February 9, 2011 at 11:10 pm

I love that you promised that you wouldn’t blog about it. And that you lied.

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GrandeMocha
Twitter:
February 11, 2011 at 7:08 am

Me too!

Reply

the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
February 9, 2011 at 11:14 pm

You’d be so lucky if he’s dating a shiksa. I hear they are fabulous.

Reply

alexandra
Twitter:
February 9, 2011 at 11:39 pm

I’m going to tell you a secret.

I long on to my son’s FB account and find out that way…

Reply

alexandra
Twitter:
February 9, 2011 at 11:40 pm

and logging on works, too. (;

Reply

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels
Twitter:
February 10, 2011 at 2:06 am

awww, first crushes, so cute. My daughter won’t share the dirt either. I’d like to know who the heck taught my 11 year old to say “I have a right to my privacy”
Damn them.

Reply

From Belgium February 10, 2011 at 3:04 am

ah, young love….

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Tonya
Twitter:
February 10, 2011 at 10:29 am

You’re right in this economy you shouldn’t resort to bribing with money, it’s the age of electro shock therapy.

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Ann's Rants
Twitter:
February 10, 2011 at 12:12 pm

“Besides, it could be no one”

Love him.

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CSY February 10, 2011 at 1:57 pm

What is It with kids these days?! My sons “say” the don’t like girls, but WTH?!?!?! My 13 yr old daughter on the other hand, likes to show me her crushes on FaceBook. I MAKE her tell me…the tickle torture ALWAYS works! (not that I’d know first hand or anything)

Reply

Lady Jennie February 14, 2011 at 11:09 am

You’re gettin nowhere. Need a new strategy.

Reply

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