I know you’ve written letters to Miley Cyrus. A while back you probably wrote them to Lindsay Lohan. You’ve certainly written a few to the girls your sons spend time with, or the ones you fear they will spend time with. Perhaps a few to your future daughter-in-law?
I haven’t read them all, but they go something like this: Stop trying to be sexy, stop trying to be sexy, slut, whore, you can do better, slut, sexy, sex, there’s more to life, sex, slut, people will judge you, message to other young women, role model, motherhood, my boy deserves better, our children deserve better, slut, sexy slut, slut, slut, stay in school, and wear a bra.
Here’s the thing.
Teenage girls don’t read your letters and neither does Miley Cyrus. Perhaps Lindsay Lohan did, that would certainly explain some of her problems. But no, they don’t. They don’t give a shit what you write about and they are not going to change how they dress, or act or the selflies they post on Facebook. And you know what else? Your sons are not going to stop looking at them. They are not going to stop thinking about them. They will be affected by them and not even a letter posted online is going to stop it.
But my question to you, adult woman, why is that a bad thing?
Why is a teenager’s sexuality so threatening? Why is a woman’s body so dangerous?
I know why I think your letters are so dangerous and so threatening.
Because when I read them, I understand that you live in a world of code. And in that world there’s a dress code for “nice girls” and for “the others.” In my world, a teenager can pose without a bra and still be smart, lovely, and deserving of respect. What’s more, she’s the only one who gets a say about how she dresses and poses. But I come from that weird place where I believe that people’s bodies are their own business, including how they clothe those bodies.
So, stop. Stop telling teenage girls how to dress, look and act. Stop telling them how to deal with their sexuality and stop trying to “save” your sons from them. There are plenty of other people online for you to write to. President Obama is headed to Russia to meet with Putin. Why not send them a few letters? Sure, they won’t read them, but when has that ever stopped you?
See you at the bra burning,