Dear Person in Charge of Scheduling the State of the Union Address

by Marinka on January 10, 2010

Recently I heard that President Obama will not be delivering the State of the Union Address on February 2nd, so as not to interfere with the premiere of Lost.  Finally, a President who understands this country.

I don’t know what Kennedy was smoking with the whole “ask not what your country can do for you” nonsense, Obama knows what’s important to us Americans. Or we Americans.  English is hard. Television.

But, see, I don’t watch Lost. Oh, I watched for a few seasons, but the whole polar bear, puffs of smoke, Dominic Monaghan and Evangeline Lilly engaged in real life, just didn’t make any sense.  I gave up.  But good for Lost fans, really. The President  tiptoeing around their show has got to feel pretty damn good.  (Note to terrorists:  don’t fuck with us.  Because we’re tough and all, and right after Lost airs we’re going to get you!  Well, maybe a few hours after that, we have to check out what Television Without Pity has to say about it.)

So here is a list of shows that I would like you, person in charge of scheduling the State of the Union Address, to keep in mind. Because these shows are my life.  Thank you.

1. Snapped. Unfortunately, I missed the first few seasons of this show, so I have to catch up on re-runs. And the re-runs are always on.

2. The Conveyor Belt of Love.  This is not yet a regularly scheduled show, but fingers crossed!  (You don’t have any pull at NBC, do you?)

3.  Super Nanny. Yes, your secret file on me is correct, my kids are older and I no longer require Nanny Jo’s guidance.  But I’m sure you’ve heard of Schadenfreude, right? I mean, you’ve seen Karl Rove.

4. Gossip Girl.  Ask Malia.

5. Big Love.  If you could manage to schedule the speech only for the minutes that Bill Paxton is on the screen, two birds, one stone!

7. Desperate Housewives.  This is when I fold my laundry. The State of My Family is counting on you.

8.  General Hospital.  Shut up.

That’s it!  As you can see, I am  a very reasonable television watcher and a patriot.  I appreciate any reassurance and assistance that you can offer.

Yours in Not Interrupting Regularly Scheduled Programming,

Marinka

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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

tena January 10, 2010 at 11:49 am

This is genius… might I request an addition of the Jersey Shore and Intervention?

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Alyssa January 10, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Hey, I am with you on this!!! General Hospital—NOW???
New to following you…I love this post!

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C @ Kid Things January 10, 2010 at 12:30 pm

Oh, Lost. I am looking forward to it’s premiere muchly.

Whenever any news breaks, it always seems to happen right during All My Children and it pisses me off. So, see, I have no room to judge. But if they could leave the noon hour alone, too, that would be great.

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Kirsten January 10, 2010 at 12:32 pm

What is Snapped? It is a trashy reality show that I am now going to have to watch religiously? I’m off to google it.

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Maureen@IslandRoar January 10, 2010 at 1:09 pm

I hadn’t heard this. It’s good to know the president has his priorities straight. I totally would have blown his speech off for LOST.
Because I have my priorities straight too.

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Jonathan January 10, 2010 at 1:19 pm

I hope he is going to include a post Lost wrap-up so we as a country can discuss the show. And of course no speeches during the Office and 30 Rock!

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Kate Coveny Hood
Twitter:
January 10, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Mismatched hotness of its stars aside, I’ve always stayed loyal to Lost. Crisis averted!

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traci January 10, 2010 at 3:51 pm

I feel the same about the Macy’s day Parade. Can’t we schedule around Young and the Restless? Doesn’t fashion avenue know that all the great paternity outbreaks happen during November sweeps?!

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Andy January 10, 2010 at 4:42 pm

I wonder how popular a show needs to be for the president to postpone the State of the Union? Would Big Love have done it? The Office? House Hunters? MTV Cribs re-runs at 2 a.m.?

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Andrea's Sweet Life
Twitter:
January 10, 2010 at 5:14 pm

This is why TiVo was invented, right? But I guess the pres. has to consider those backward eejits who haven’t yet welcomed the 21st century. Just kidding. Sorta.

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Wendi
Twitter:
January 10, 2010 at 5:57 pm

We are going to have so much fun at Gitmo.

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anna see January 10, 2010 at 8:01 pm

Love watching Supernanny. Makes me feel (a little) better about my life.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
January 10, 2010 at 10:54 pm

I remember Obama saying something important about “Lost” during the election. Finally, he’s keeping his promises.

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anymommy January 11, 2010 at 12:24 am

General Hospital – pppbbssstttt. Days of Our Lives, that’s the important one to note. I do appreciate a leader of the free world who understands the importance of not disrupting a good evening line up.

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Carolyn Online
Twitter:
January 11, 2010 at 9:39 am

Sheesh… I’m a little bit horrified at how stupid we Americans can be. I bet Europe is laughing at us right now.

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amy2boys
Twitter:
January 11, 2010 at 3:30 pm

I don’t watch tv. (Unless you count being occasionally forced to watch Spongebob and Wonder Pets, which I do not. Count I mean.)

A side effect of this no-tv thing however is I never know what anyone on Twitter is talking about on weeknights between 6-11.

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jessica January 12, 2010 at 6:25 pm

If he dares to speak when The Biggest Loser is supposed to be on, I promise you I will not vote for him next time.

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SweetPeaSurry
Twitter:
January 14, 2010 at 3:00 am

I had to post a comment on this one! I love lost … I love it even more when my President is doing work rather than mugging for the camera. (IMHO I think he should have his own channel, and we should have the ‘choice’ to watch him or not. Personally, I’d rather just read the speech myself. I digress)

Snapped is also a favorite … I watch it for hours on the weekends while I’m doing housework! Some of those peeps are seriously NUTSO!

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Canaan January 14, 2010 at 10:03 am

I just found your blog and you made me LOL with my morning bagel at work. That’s a big feat. I think Obama is onto something here, as a Lost fan, I certainly would have picked Lost over the Address. I mean, IT’S THE LAST SEASON PEOPLE!!

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Denise January 17, 2010 at 1:23 pm

Genral Hospital all the way. Is there anything more infuriating when it’s interrupted with a game or parade?!

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