Don’t Be Alarmed, But I Think Someone’s Dead

by Marinka on September 8, 2009

So every once in a while, meaning constantly, Nicki sits in front of the refrigerator and stares at it. I don’t know why.

Husbandrinka thinks that she may be hungry, which makes no sense to me because her food isn’t in the refrigerator, and she’d have to be a complete and total moron not to know that. I mean, I get her can from the cupboard every morning. She has fur holes for eyes, doesn’t she?

So, she sits and stares and I keep thinking “it’s not a mouse, it’s not a mouse. It’s probably a ghost. A ghost who lives under our refrigerator. There are many unsolved murders in NYC, surely it’s one of those ghosts. That’s why it’s under the fridge. Because it’s a cold case.”

And then I say a quick prayer that Nicki is a better ghost hunter than mouser.

Whenever I start the discussion of why is Nicki sitting in front of the refrigerator with Husbandrinka, he always tries to end it.

“How the hell am I supposed to know why she’s sitting there?” He asks. Rhetorically, I have to assume. “She’s a cat. That’s what they do.”

I don’t know what Feline Freak Show he’s used to, but I’ve never heard of cats sitting there staring at refrigerators.

She sits and stares. Sometimes she pounces.

The pouncing worries me. Cats pounce at mice. Do cats pounce at ghosts? Maybe if she were Nicki Demi Moore and the ghost were Patrick Swayze, but now I’m worried that the joke is in bad taste, given his poor health. Also, the joke is not funny.

“Is it normal for cats to pounce at invisible objects?” I ask myself, because Husbandrinka has served me with a Cease & Desist Order as it pertains to questions regarding Nicki.

I don’t answer, because I’m starting to get on my own nerves.

And then I notice something else.

Why is Nicki semi-camouflaged?

I think I have to move.

Please don’t forget to enter my Caption This! contest. Who knows, the donation that I make may save an animal from a lifetime of staring at kitchen appliances.

One year ago ...

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