by Marinka on September 4, 2010

I’m in a funk.

A friend got some bad news that I can’t discuss here (but if you send me $5, I’ll spill all in a super-secret email) and it’s making me heartsick, I’m dreading my return from our wonderful 2 week vacation, I’m not ready for school to start, I can’t deal with the deadlines that I have coming up and I’m worried that I have eighteenth stage melanoma, starring Laura Linney.

poster in NYC subway station

Which would really be ironic, since that’s probably one illness that I never considered in my rainbow of hypochondria. But then right before we went on vacation, I watched an episode of The Big C, which for some reason I thought was called The C Word and it hit me. Of course! I have all the danger signs for skin cancer.

First, I have perfect alabaster skin. Risk factor one. Second, I have ocean blue eyes. Risk factor two. And then I have kisses from the gods, aka freckles. Risk factor three.

And then, first night on vacation I realized that I had an itchy spot on my back. Do I need to draw a picture here?

A few days later my daughter woke up with a sore neck, and when I took her to the medical center, I saw a sign about skin cancer and various symptoms. Of course I was too panic-stricken to read it, and the doctor was acting like we were there to discuss my daughter’s neck, but why would there be a sign about skin cancer in the doctor’s office if they didn’t have something to tell me?

So now I have that hanging over my head.

And of course, this whole post has a shit load of Tfu, tfu, tfu all over it. If you don’t know what I’m talking about it, just fake it. I’m depressed enough already.

One year ago ...

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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Scary Mommy
September 4, 2010 at 1:20 pm

Tfu, tfu, tfu, knock on wood, God forbid and all that crap.


September 4, 2010 at 1:26 pm

I looooove “The C Word”!! (and reading your blog).


September 4, 2010 at 1:35 pm

Well, I thought it was The C Word, too. I’m a Laura Linney twin with the blue eyes, pale skin and assortment of freckles and moles. The C word has always been a fear of mine and it’s a little unnerving watching that show. At the moment, I’m trying not to take this post as a sign!


tracey September 4, 2010 at 2:25 pm

🙁 I’m sorry about your friend’s bad news. Sending you a hug, babe.


annie September 4, 2010 at 4:56 pm

Get yourself checked so you can feel better! I’ve got all that fair skin, freckles and all that good stuff too but I’m in denial. People can’t have 2 kinds of cancer at once. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. You do it for me.

oh and ps….tfu tfu tfu


anymommy September 4, 2010 at 5:17 pm

Ugh. My husband has all of the same blessings/risk factors as you. He’s a walking poster for sun screen.

Here’s something nonfunkish: You haven’t mentioned bedbugs, so I’m assuming your apartment is uninfested.


anna see September 4, 2010 at 5:27 pm

I smell what you’re stepping in, Marinka, and I’m stepping in it too. A big pile of FUNK.


Ann's Rants September 4, 2010 at 6:27 pm

I’m in a funk too.

If you took one look at the calendar from my kid’s Jewish preschool you’d know why.



September 4, 2010 at 9:56 pm

There’s no way I’m watching that show. It’s a hypochondriac’s nightmare.


christy September 5, 2010 at 7:11 am

Oh no – I’m sorry about your friends heartbreaking news…and I am sure you’re not sick. Seriously – you’d FEEL sick if you were…Hope you get out of your funk soon! Big hugs!


monica September 5, 2010 at 7:52 am

just because my been there done that story is so fresh i’ve still got stitches i’m gonna tell you to go get it checked! i delayed 6 months and it didn’t make it any better. however, i did end up getting a miniface lift as a result… not sure if that’s a pro or a con…


Diane September 5, 2010 at 10:37 am

I’ll use this as a cautionary tale to get myself checked too so cheer up – you may have saved some lives here by getting some folks off their squishy butts to visit the doctor and have their moles checked. That’s a good thing!


September 5, 2010 at 12:55 pm

I think you have going home-itis. I don’t think it’s terminal though.

Sorry friend. Really hope your re-entry to real life goes okay.


September 5, 2010 at 1:53 pm

I am pretty sure I have leukemia, if it makes you feel any better. All the bruises on my legs, my god. People tell me it’s my pale skin and blah blah blah, but what are they, doctors? So what if they are?

Anyhow, I have a little crush on you since seeing you read at BlogHer, so I hope you’re not dying. Good luck with that. And I am truly sorry about your friend.


September 5, 2010 at 3:51 pm

Feel better M. This weather is too good not to enjoy. Save the funk for February.


Aunt Becky
September 5, 2010 at 6:02 pm

Your skin really IS kissed by angels.

Sorry you’re in a funk. Want me to go around being all “you’re funkier than me?” Or George Clinton, “Who’s got the funk?” My annoyingness never ends. But I do heart you. AND THAT NEVER ENDS.


Miss Welcome September 6, 2010 at 6:04 am

Aw shucks. There are SO many other ways to die! No just kidding. tfu, tfu, tfu. Wishing you God-protected and out of this funk.


A Mom on Spin September 6, 2010 at 9:22 am

Maybe that itchy spot is just bed bugs???

tfu to you too. . .


dusty earth mother September 6, 2010 at 3:35 pm

Aw, Marinka, your C-prone skin is so lovely. Beautiful girl that you are, don’t worry, mwah mwah mwah.


Jeanne September 6, 2010 at 7:17 pm

Why is it that every gift (like alabaster skin) must have an accompanying flip-side curse?


JulieBouf September 7, 2010 at 11:48 am

Gah…all you think about is yourself. I’m on my way to an MRI right now to make sure that the dent in my brain isn’t going to kill me and you’re worried about your skin? Crap..I just realized my skin matches yours. Could a dented brain be a symptom of skin cancer?

PS I am very impressed with your glass half full approach on freckles. I always considered mine more the “crap flung down from the gods”. Kudos.


Cherilyn September 7, 2010 at 7:34 pm

If it helps, I’m convinced no less than 4 times a year that I have meningitis. Still haven’t really had it yet. Oh, and the reason you thought the name was The C Word, it’s because it was. Apparently Showtime decided that The C Word was too close to The L Word and that their viewers are idiots and it would be too confusing so it was changed.


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