by Marinka on February 28, 2012

One afternoon after school  I get a reprieve from my teenager’s attitude and she allows me to take her clothes shopping at American Eagle.  Sure I almost lose consciousness and she tries on every pair of jeans and but we’re spending time together and that’s what’s important.

And then she lets me pay for everything, which is really more than any parent has a right to ask.  And I didn’t even ask, she offered.

“You go pay and I’ll keep looking,” she says.  Looking at what, didn’t you already try on all the inventory?   I ask, but not out loud because I don’t want to rock the Titanic.

We leave the store and I decide to take a risk.

“Hey, you want to gossip?” I ask her.  I’m excellent at gossip because I know lots of shit about everyone and am not afraid to make things up. You can totally get away with that if you add “I think” at the end and question mark your nose a bit.

“No,” she says, almost before I finish the sentence.

“Aw, come on,” I nudge her. “Like I can tell you that this guy at work is really cute and you can tell me who you think is cute.”

She stops, mid-street and looks right at me, eyes not rolling even a bit.

“Don’t say anything like that to me ever again,” she warns.

I’m a little startled by how strongly she feels, but I take another crack.

“Why not? It’s fun. I mean, I still think daddy is cuter,  so don’t worry about my leaving him or anything.”

She sighs.  Why does she have to be the one to school me in everything?

“It’s not fun for me. I don’t want to gossip with anyone in my family. I gossip with my friends, not my mom.”

We walk home in silence.  I’ve certainly been told.

And to make things even worse,  there’s no cute guy at work.


One year ago ...

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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

awesome dude February 28, 2012 at 8:45 am

The young woman is right, you are out of the loop.


Brittany {Mommy Words}
February 28, 2012 at 8:46 am

Marinka I am actually scared of Sophia growing older. Seriously, my feelings would be really hurt if she said that. Mayhap I need some tougher skin before I have 3 teenage kids.

Hopefully she will come around and want to chit chat with you soon. 🙂 I mean, everyone else thinks you are great…what’s her deal?


Kelly February 28, 2012 at 9:51 am

Although this made me laugh- to be serious for a moment – I remember a similiar situation with my mom when I was a teenager. She was very hurt that I’d come home from school and call my friends – that I’d just left – instead of talking to her. “What can you tell them that you can’t tell me?” If it’s any reassurance, I tell her everything now. In high school, the idea of telling my Mom what boy I liked seemed like the most mortifying thing in the world. (Maybe it’s some subconscious part of the teenage brain acknowledging that our “problems” seem ridiculous to anyone older than 16.)

I also have many, many memories of my mother waiting outside the dressing room at American Eagle. Hopefully they still have those comfortable couches in the waiting area?? Trust me, she will appreciate this all one day.


JosettePlank (formerly Halushki) February 28, 2012 at 10:00 am


Our daughters are cut from the same cloth. At least my eldest.


Jodi February 28, 2012 at 10:05 am

Seeing as I once used to be a teenager (I know, I know), here’s my advice: don’t give up on her. Even if she pushes you away, time and time again. She’ll come back, I promise.


meekasmommy February 28, 2012 at 10:09 am

well, *I’d* love to listen to your gossip, if it makes you feel any better. You can make it all up, too. That’s what makes it so fun, I think?

Also, next time, just to REALLY push her over the edge, I think you should try on every single things she does yourself – tell her matching mother-daughter outfits are SO IN right now (after all, don’t Madonna and her daughter do it, I think?)


Danielle February 28, 2012 at 11:26 am

I was SO mean to my mom when I was a teenager. This sort of thing reminds me of it…although I don’t think your daughter was being mean. And if it makes you feel any better, I wouldn’t even give my mom the satisfaction of taking me shopping.

P.S. I’m 25 now and my mom happens to be my best friend…it’ll come back 🙂


the mama bird diaries
February 28, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I will gossip with you. Any time.


Megan February 28, 2012 at 1:10 pm

There are no cute guys in my office either. Or cute girls for that matter.


The Mommy Therapy
February 28, 2012 at 1:54 pm

You are seriously depressing me about the possibility of a joyful future with my currently painfully adorable one year old daughter.

Tell me there’s hope.

Would it be a good idea to start gossiping with her now, possibly oversharing with her at an early age so she assumes it’s always normal to talk to me?


Julie McGuire
February 28, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I have two teenage daughters and have not really experienced that I must say, HOWEVER, my 14 year old son, know grunts whenever I ask him a question. Just delightful.


February 28, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I don’t want to alarm you, but this sounds like a scene out of “Absolutely Fabulous.”


February 28, 2012 at 7:52 pm

I’m on the, “I’m so scared” side of the comments. So freakin scared. This is what I have to look forward to??


deb February 28, 2012 at 11:39 pm

darn. i wanted to know more about the guy in the office.

my 14 year old gunts too! we call it talking neanderthal. he also says/does hurtful things like excluding his father (and long-time soccer coach) from a game of pick-up soccer this weekend.

i’m convinced they don’t mean it. in this extremely narcissistic stage of their lives, teenagers have NO IDEA that parents have feelings. plus, they’re completely schizo. After grunting and eye rolling all day, my son will throw himself on my lap in the evening and say, “rub my back!” as if he’s 5. i’m learning to take the love when I can get it. the rest of the time, well, there’s always the joy of gossiping about them online!


February 28, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Me me me…I LOVE to gossip. Call me! xo


Caroline February 29, 2012 at 2:12 am

Mine is 12 and has resorted to eye-rolling and blurts of “lame” when I talk. I have about a year left with my other daughter before she hits that stage and take comfort that by the time my son gets there, my oldest will start liking me again. Hence 3 kids!!


Mo February 29, 2012 at 4:53 am

If you went and bought her another pair of whtie jeans I would have to conclude that you are simply beyond hope…


Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes February 29, 2012 at 7:23 am

I take small comfort in the fact that my husband will have a worst deal than me when our daughters are teenagers, at least they will side with me on the no-football front. They will right? Right?


Jennifer February 29, 2012 at 9:01 am

As a mom of three girls, of which 2 are teenagers, can I tell you how glad I am to have found your blog. I am no longer in the baby sphere, so I don’t enjoy the baby blogs as much. But your? Makes me laugh because I can so relate! My 2 teenage girls now go into one of their rooms to gossip together. I am not invited. Not that it stops me of course. I figure they barged into my rooms uninvited for the first 5 years of their lives…. I get to barge into theirs for these next 5 years! And the shopping? Has she dragged you into Forever 21 yet? I have decided that store is a level in Dante’s circle of hell for moms.


Mary February 29, 2012 at 7:22 pm

I love your blog! You totally crack me up. Regarding gossip I’ve discovered that my daughter (only 10 but soon to be 11) won’t tell me anything unless she’s sitting in the back seat of the car and I’m driving. Then I can casually look at her in the rear view mirror and just hold my breath because the minute I add my two cents she shuts up. Oddly if I’m gossiping to a friend and she’s in earshot she’ll ask me later, “You know when you were talking about so and so’s Mom, what did you mean when you said she was irritating?” That’s always a fun explanation. Thanks for all your great posts.


March 1, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I will gossip with you whenever you want and I DO have a cute guy at work!


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