1. Subscribe to an email alert. Perhaps it’s from a local restaurant. That offers a .3% discount if you subscribe to their email alerts.
2. Receive an email update. Think, ooh! an email update! How fun!
3. After two years of daily email updates of such ilk as panini sale! And get ready for summer with our low-fat mozzarella sandwiches, decide to live email update-free.
3. Scroll down to the bottom of the email alert and click on the unsubscribe button. You’re free.
4. Receive a you have successfully unsubscribed from future email updates email update.
6. A few days later, receive an email update.
7. Be unable to understand how something like this could have happened. You clicked unsubscribe. You received a confirmation email. Something is not adding up.
8. Decide that it was a glitch. Glitches happen! No system is perfect! Click unsubscribe again!
9. Repeat steps 4 and 5. But this time, with apprehension.
10. Get an email update.
11. Either click unsubscribe again and/or hit head against wall or any other durable object.
12. Consider changing email address. Pros: no more email updates. Cons: no more email from anyone again ever, unless you send a global email notifying them of your new email.
13. Consider moving out of country and assuming a new identity. Pros: no more email updates. Cons: a lot of work.
14. Consider learning to live with email updates. What’s the worst thing that can happen? It’s not like anyone has ever been murdered by an email update! Pros: nothing to do! Con: you will be the first person to be killed by an email update.
14. Write up a post about your battle with email update. Beam with pride. Everyone will be on your side and will laud you as a modern day e-heroine.
15. Leave post on screen in drafts. See 10 year old son walk by. See him reading it. Beam with more pride. This is blogging, son! Sharing knowledge with others! Hear 10 year old tell you, you know you can just mark it spam, right?
16. Vow never to leave post accessible to children again.