I Don’t Think That’s Weird At All

by Marinka on May 13, 2009

I’ve been distracted recently because there’s a post that I’ve been writing that is just not coming together and it’s making me insane. So when I say that I’ve been distracted, I mean I’ve been insane.

It’s about kitty litter, so I’m sure that you can understand the magnitude of what I’m dealing with. I mean it’s not cat Nazis, but I’m doing the best that I can, people. Finally yesterday I realized that I needed to go multi-media with this and add pictures so that people would understand. Sorry to be mysterious, but I promise it’ll be worth it.

But of course I don’t want to have photographs of actual cat shit on my blog, so I decided that I was going to use Tootsie rolls as a stand in for Nicki’s turds. I tell you, I nearly pulled a muscle patting myself on the back for coming up with that solution.

So, I casually walk towards the bathroom last night and my daughter, who usually ignores everything that I do, suddenly is all “What are you doing?” and I’m like “I’m going to the bathroom!” and she’s all “Why are you taking a camera in there?” Good grief, whatever happened to privacy? So I give her The Look, and then remember that “develop and establish The Look” has been on my New Year’s Resolutions list for like years, so she basically doesn’t know why I’m channeling a drag queen and we stare at each other and finally I say, “fine! I’ll let you in on it!” and I let her come into the bathroom with me and I take the Tootsie rolls out of my pocket and start unwrapping them and she says “hey, where did you get those?” which, of course, is a natural question to ask when you’re locked in the bathroom with the litter box, your mother and a camera. So I tell her that it’s left over from Halloween and she wants to know if it’s left over from HER Halloween stash and I say no and thank god she doesn’t ask for a sworn statement.

So, I finish staging the Tootsie rolls in the litter box and am taking pictures and Nicki, of course, because the door is closed, starts putting her paw under the door, and then Young Ladrinka is all “WHY IS EVERYONE IN THE BATHROOM?” and I let him and Nicki in and he’s like “Whoa!” and Nicki’s all, “I miss the animal shelter”.

I take a few more pictures and then to make it fun for the kids, I say “let’s rewrap the Tootsie rolls and give it to Daddy!” and both kids are all “YES! YAY!” which tells me that I forgot to give them sensitivity training about other people, so hooray that I get to school them on that this summer! Because wonderful things happen when we’re all in the bathroom together.

One year ago ...

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