I Live in NYC, I Don’t Blog About It

by Marinka on December 1, 2010

Last year this blog received a bit of criticism. Months of subsequent therapy erased much of what was said about it, but the one thing that I will never forget is that despite having NYC in the title, I wrote about banal and suburban things like shopping in The Gap.  The Gap!  Which could be found in any mall.  I was directed to check out a blog by a dad who commutes to NYC from NJ or Connecticut or maybe Milwaukee and instructed to take notes from him. And when I clicked over, he did have a beautiful photo of Grand Central station, so I considered stealing it, but then got too drained and exhausted and instead decided to go to the Empire State Building.

Because that’s what a New Yorker like me does for fun. On pretty much daily basis.

Except I’ve never been to the Empire State Building. Oh, I’ve tried. When Husbandrinka and I were engaged and spending our weekend going from one venue to another trying to book a place for our reception, one Sunday we were so tired of the whole thing that we decided to do something different. “Let’s go to the Empire State Building,” he suggested.
“Okay,” I said. “But instead of going to the Empire State Building, let’s go home and order and watch TV.”
He probably rolled his eyes, but that night, as we were at home watching the news, we saw that there was a SHOOTING at the Empire State Building with a GUN and everything.

Obviously, I saved our lives! I was a hero!

We took that as a serious sign that we should never, ever go to the Empire State Building again. (I also took it as a serious co-sign that watching TV is always the right option under any and all circumstances.)

But apparently, I forgot. Because several years later, after our kids were born, I decided to take them there. I ordered tickets on-line and we were all set.
Except when we got there, the line stretched two and a half city blocks. They were also people who ordered tickets on-line, but were waiting for the elevator.

And I don’t do lines (feel free to insert your cocaine joke here. I don’t do a lot of giveaways on this blog, but I do set you up nicely for your own jokes, don’t you think?) I’ve stood in Soviet breadlines and I’m not standing in a line to get shot at the top of the Empire State Building. So we left. But we paid for the tickets, so we totally had part of the experience.

So I hope you understand why I’m not going to be posting from the top of the Empire State Building.

Thank you for forgiving me in advance.

_____________________________________

By the way, did you know about my one and only holiday giveaway this year? It’s great! Easy to enter and solves many of your holiday shopping problems.  Check it out here!  And enter. Unless you’re an anti-Semite. Or really unattractive.

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December 1, 2010 at 10:46 am

{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }

K-Line December 1, 2010 at 10:16 am

I haven’t been to the CN Tower since I was 7. Of course, when I did go, the elevator totally freaked me out, to say nothing of the glass floor and I was paralysed with fear of height. I made my mother walk down the stairs. That’s the last time she took me anywhere tall.

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Marinka December 1, 2010 at 11:19 am

My stomach did a little flip reading that. I assume that the CN Tower is the Canadian version of the ESB. Without King Kong.

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Wendi
Twitter:
December 1, 2010 at 10:21 am

What’s that commuting dad’s website? I bet HE’S been there.

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Awesome dude December 1, 2010 at 10:21 am

For some reason you did not mention that I am taking grandchildren to the Metropolitan Museum this Sunday to see Chinese artifacts from XII century.

I believe that this is in part because we live here

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Marinka December 1, 2010 at 11:21 am

Although I really, REALLY appreciate your taking the kids out for a Cultural Experience on Sunday, I suspect that your feedback will be less “Chinese artifacts from XII century” and more “never doing that again!”

But let’s see.

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New York Dad December 1, 2010 at 10:22 am

I would like to add Times Square, the Statue of Liberty, the Brooklyn Heights promenade and the Brooklyn Bridge, Rockefeller Center from mid-November through mid-January, etc. etc. … Tourists… bahumbug 😉

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calliope December 1, 2010 at 10:29 am

You’re a mom, you live in New York City. I think your title is very accurate. This is why it’s nice to have less than 20 people read my blog. No one is going to criticize the appropriateness of my content in relation to my title. There’s always a price to pay for fame.
😉

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MamaHussy December 1, 2010 at 10:52 am

Hilare!! Very good point!

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tracy
Twitter:
December 1, 2010 at 10:36 am

I took all 3 kids to the top of the Empire State Building just last month. Paid close to a million dollars for the tickets, stood in line for 2000 hours, rode up-teen crowded elevators, listened to my baby cry the whole time, finally made it to the top and my 7 year old yells “you made us do all that just to see the tops of other buildings, are you serious, mom? You are so not fun!”

T.V is always the right answer.

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Marinka December 1, 2010 at 11:22 am

Thank you for living that experience so that I don’t have to. You’re a true friend.

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CSY December 1, 2010 at 10:37 am

My husband and I went to the top of the Entire (my youngest son started calling it that 4 years ago) State Building at night, in the COLD…it was cool to see the city lights from that high up, but we weren’t really impressed. Now if he could’ve hocked a loogie THAT would’ve been awesome!

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Kim
Twitter:
December 1, 2010 at 10:45 am

My mom dragged us up there last year — first time I had been in my 16 years living in NYC. This was at 11pm after three Pinot Noirs and my resistance was down. And I’m afraid of heights. Good times — thanks Mom. Maybe next time we can all ride the Circle Line together.

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Marinka December 1, 2010 at 11:23 am

The Circle Line of Hell is a huge fear of mine. What if the seas are choppy?!

And I assume by “three Pinot Noirs” you mean “three cases of Pinot Noirs.”

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hokgardner
Twitter:
December 1, 2010 at 10:52 am

I live in Austin, but I rarely blog about it.

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briya December 1, 2010 at 11:01 am

I mean, really…I went to NY (for blogher) and I didn’t go to the Empire State Building either. Because OMG, the line. And then, in true LA style, we decided to go shopping instead.

Also? I don’t really blog about LA, unless of course, I’m taking a friend to see the sights. When you live here its just CityWalk, not UNIVERSAL! STUDIOS!

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Marinka December 1, 2010 at 11:25 am

The great thing about the ESB is that you can see its point from almost anywhere in the city. And the point is obviously the most important part. So, it’s easy to check it off your list.

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Peajaye
Twitter:
December 1, 2010 at 11:11 am

Who, exactly, criticized your blog? I got some family on Canal St. who might wanna “talk” some sense into ’em.

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Hollywood Farm December 1, 2010 at 11:13 am

F@$% lines- (of all kind)
F*&% the Empire State Building
and F#@% that guy in Jersey.
Lets see how many times he’s waited in that line or a breadline for that matter.

I just had to go to the Santa Monica Peer with a friend visiting, and F the peer and Elmo in a big suit looking for a tip!

#PMSingforsure

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reiven December 1, 2010 at 12:20 pm

F@$% anything north of El Segundo, west of El Segundo and south of South Redondo Beach. Seriously.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
December 1, 2010 at 11:15 am

The key to the Empire State Building is to go on a very rainy overcast day. No lines. No views. But at least no lines.

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Rachael
Twitter:
December 1, 2010 at 11:41 am

Agreed. I went in March. It was slightly cold, not a lot of tourist anywhere in the city, no lines for anything, and the view was good but not great.

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papalogic December 1, 2010 at 11:16 am

They opened a Magnolia’s Bakery in Rockerfeller center just to save tourists the long and dangerous trip to the west village outpost. West villagers rejoiced.

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Krissy December 1, 2010 at 11:29 am

I’ve told my family many times how it cracks me up that we used to make a point of going to see all kinds of things in every area of the US and other countries when we’ve lived there as military brats. However, since moving to our current state, we haven’t seen things that are right down the road from us. What the…?? I can understand you not wanting to deal with the people and lines. I don’t do it at the beach down here unless it’s offseason, and when is that because Northerners come down here in the winter?

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Gretchen December 1, 2010 at 11:38 am

I’m afraid I HAVE been to the top of the ESB. Twice. I liken it to the 9th level of hell, but I was forced to go by my extremely enthusiastic, skyscraper loving son. I like to believe there is now a special place in heaven for me.

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annie December 1, 2010 at 12:35 pm

Well aren’t you supposed to be blogging about all the fun stuff mothers can do in NYC? Oh wait, you already are. Lucky for me, wine and TV are universally available and I don’t feel the need to move next door to you to enjoy them. Although that does sound fun.

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Lu
Twitter:
December 1, 2010 at 1:03 pm

I live in San Antonio. I don’t go to the Alamo. Why would it be necessary to go to the Empire State Building just because you live in NYC? I will however be very, very upset if you don’t blog about visiting Barney’s the next time you go there, or hear about a shooting there.

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Pauline
Twitter:
December 1, 2010 at 1:15 pm

Having “classy” in a blog title is loads of fun. Some of the best comments are those that start “you aren’t classy…”

We should come up with a list of least-criticized potential blog titles. The list would be *this* short.

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Heather December 1, 2010 at 1:46 pm

I don’t know what’s wrong with you. I visited the Boll Weevil Monument in my hometown ALL OF THE TIME.

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Aly December 1, 2010 at 2:16 pm

“But we paid for the tickets, so we totally had part of the experience.”

Marinka, you are hands down the funniest part of my day, and for that I thank you! Oddly enough, I’ve been up the Empire State Building, even though I’ve never visited the CN tower, my nearest major tourist attraction. I think we’re more drawn to other people’s landmarks than our own. I don’t remember any lines, but I was probably in brain-dead tourist mode with a camera glued to my eye, or else I was too preoccupied with clinging to my belongings in sheer paranoia that some evil New Yorker was going to mug me.

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Old School/New School Mom
Twitter:
December 1, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Whatever! I’ve lived here all my life and I HATE going to the Empire State building. You’re right, it’s crowded and overrated. And, by the way, just because you live here doesn’t mean you have to talk about NYC tourist attractions in your posts. Keep doing what you’re doing, I love you Marinka!

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Mwa (Lost in Translation) December 1, 2010 at 3:49 pm

I’m Belgian, and I’ve been on top of the Empire State building. The trick, as any good guide book will tell you, is to get there before it opens. Hardly any lines at all! 🙂 Not sure if that will be helpful to you.

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Nina Badzin
Twitter:
December 1, 2010 at 3:54 pm

ha!! As a real suburbanite (in Minnesota, OY VEY) I fully appreciate a city girl who fully admits to not running around all the time like Carrie Bradshaw, only with kids. You’re living a real life, even if you don’t have a lawn. 😉 Who has time for lines?!?!

Nina 🙂
http://ninabadzin.com

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Heather
Twitter:
December 1, 2010 at 4:09 pm

It is a personal affront to me that you do not blog about what I want you to blog about on your own personal blog. Harumph. (Is that how you spell harumph? I don’t want to look it up, for I am too busy being offended.)

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Migg December 2, 2010 at 4:42 am

I’m a Canadian living and Perth and I HAVE/MUST blog about because its some f&*cking backwards sometimes.
Its like 1982.
Seriously.

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Lady Jennie December 2, 2010 at 12:17 pm

Yup. A Lady in France is about kids, friends, gardening, everything banal. Oh well. Occasionally there is an eiffel tower thrown in (oh except I haven’t done a post on that yet).

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