I Love My Husband

by Marinka on February 18, 2012

Even though on January 10th he lost his wedding ring.

He’d lost weight in the last few years, and it was loose on his finger.

Because I respect our marriage, I have not lost any weight and my wedding ring is safely embedded in my finger.

He knew he should have it sized, except he’s a man, so he didn’t know that you could get it sized, just smallerized.

But he didn’t. Because even though it had fallen off his finger several times, he always found it.

Once his son found it on the sidewalk outside our apartment building. In the West Village, in NYC.

It was a sign.

I’m not sure of what, but a sign.

But on January 10th, he lost it.

He was walking from the office to a reception, listening to his iPod and because when some music he didn’t like came on, he had to take off his glove to advance it, and he thinks that’s where it happened.

He looked sad.

This probably means our marriage is over, I told him.

But I also tried to help.

What street was it on? I asked, donning my Nancy Drew hat on.

And he told me.

Unfortunately it involved the words Times Square.

He probably lost it on purpose, Peajaye suggested.

Days passed. Weeks.

Husbandrinka was weddingringless.

Are many women throwing themselves at you? I asked.

No, he said.

It was a sad time for everyone. But our marriage survived.

Until last night.

We went out for a romantical dinner.

See anything different about me?
he asked.

He was wearing a wedding ring.

It was very gold. And shiny. And snug.

Wow, I said. How much?

Isn’t that what you’re supposed to say about jewelry?

$700.

OMG.

I know.

When I bought your wedding ring originally, it was $200.

That was 15 years ago. The price of gold went up.

HOW MUCH DID IT GO UP? IT’S WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD.

Ha ha! Worth its weight in gold! Good one, me!

It’s almost $2,000 an ounce now.

Why didn’t we buy gold when we could? Why? We could have had a gold farm. Why are people investing in other stuff like stock and education when they should be buying gold?! Hey, how much do you think I can get for my wedding ring?

The good news is that he has a wedding ring now. The bad news is that we can’t afford to pay for dinner.

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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Momo Fali
Twitter:
February 18, 2012 at 8:31 am

Excuse me, I have a necklace I need to go sell.

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Pop
Twitter:
February 18, 2012 at 8:35 am

A husband who buys himself jewelry for VDay? I like him.

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Marinka February 18, 2012 at 8:43 am

He told me that he was going to give me the ring for VDay so that I could give it to him, but then realized that it didn’t make sense. I do feel slightly bad that I didn’t think to get him the ring for Valentine’s Day. But in my defense, I was busy eating bon bons.

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Rebecca Grace February 20, 2012 at 9:56 am

I am SO glad he didn’t give YOU the ring for Valentine’s Day; that could have gone off really badly: There you are at the romantic restaurant, and he hands you the diminutive, elegant gift box, your heart flutters because you KNOW this box contains jewelry, you open it up and… it’s NOT FOR YOU!

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Pop
Twitter:
February 21, 2012 at 10:42 am

Bons Bons are serious business. I can’t blame you.

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alaina
Twitter:
February 18, 2012 at 8:39 am

That explains all of those “we buy gold” commercials. Sneaky bastards.

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cranky old man February 18, 2012 at 8:43 am

You could still aford to go out to dinner, you may just have to have the dinner “smallerized!”

When a wife loses the wedding ring it means the marrage is over. When the husband loses his ring, it means he is a dude.
Great post, made me laugh as per usual!

Cranky Old Man

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hokgardner
Twitter:
February 18, 2012 at 9:26 am

My dad used t constantly fidget with his wedding ring, and he lost it all the time. The best place we found it was in the cuff of his pants.

My husband has lost two wedding rings in 15 years. I haven’t lost any. I think he owes me something.

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Jenny G February 18, 2012 at 9:29 am

Too funny. I think my dad lost his wedding ring(s) about three times. My mother wanted to kill him.

This also reminds me that the husband & I should really get around to getting some wedding rings. Maybe.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
February 18, 2012 at 9:56 am

I thought he was actually going to still find his old ring. I’m an optimist like that. I’m still waiting for my camera to come home to me. It’s somewhere on the streets of Boca Raton.

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Susan Chalfin February 18, 2012 at 10:37 am

My husband dropped his ring down the shower drain on our HONEYMOON! We told the hotel and they sent a guy with this super-powerful vacuum and he retrieved it. Apparently this is a very common honeymoon mishap.

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anymommy February 18, 2012 at 12:11 pm

I’m having traumatic flashbacks to when I needed to have my engagement ring smallerized and it fell off in a craft store. It still makes me nauseous.

He really should have gone with tin.

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Meredith L.
Twitter:
February 18, 2012 at 12:33 pm

When I was pregnant with our first my husband’s ring came off. In Prospect Park. It took about a dozen strangers 45 minutes to find it.

After I had the baby my fingers swelled and did not go back down, so six months post-partum we took a trip to a jewelry repair shop in the Diamond District – he to get those tiny metal balls (heh, balls) placed on the inside of his ring so it wouldn’t keep slipping off BECAUSE HE LOST WEIGHT WHILE I WAS PREGNANT, and me to get my ring stretched to 1 1/2 sizes bigger BECAUSE I DEVELOPED HYPOTHYROIDISM AND AM NO LONGER CAPABLE OF LOSING WEIGHT EVER AGAIN.

Is science close to making men have the babies, yet?

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tracy@sellabitmum
Twitter:
February 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm

He must really love you.

We don’t wear rings and yet no one has ever thrown themselves at me. I’m worried.

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Kara
Twitter:
February 18, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Been married 5 years, he’s lost his twice. I just don’t get men. It’s not hard to not lose it. I dont have days, where at the end, I’m just thankful I didn’t lose my wedding rings. I don’t roll them around. I don’t take them off and spin them on a bar. The whole men wedding ring thing baffles me.

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Peajaye
Twitter:
February 18, 2012 at 8:08 pm

I never said he probably lost it on purpose. I said that he probably just left it at his girlfriend’s apartment. Jeesh.

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Vicki
Twitter:
February 18, 2012 at 9:43 pm

I lost my wedding ring three months after our wedding. Fortunately the husband has been too big to misplace (weak laugh)

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Holly - The Culture Mom February 18, 2012 at 10:14 pm

I’m actually impressed that your hubby got a new ring in less than 6 weeks. My hubby lost his last year and it took him at least a year to replace it. Score for your husband.

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Glamamom
Twitter:
February 18, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Definitely a keeper (for now).

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chrissie d February 19, 2012 at 12:11 am

My husband wore his for a few weeks after we married in 06. He hates jewelry. He spent $50 on it. It’s never worn, in a drawer in my dresser. I got over it years ago. People expect me to care, want me to care. I don’t. No one hits on him, ever, and he’s a cutie. I wear my band and I’m always hit on. By older men. It is what it is.

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Jeanne February 19, 2012 at 6:29 am

Old Dog’s never worn one. When we married, he worked as an electrician in a factory and he had this nightmarish story about seeing a guys wedding ring finger get blown off when he was working in an electrical panel. Fortunately, he exudes “I’m married and I’m too old and tired to be on the prowl.”

Just one of the reasons I adore him.

Now I realize that we totally missed a great investment opportunity. Dammit.

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Becky
Twitter:
February 19, 2012 at 9:21 am

Dinner and a new wedding ring. Sounds like a winning combination.

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Alexandra February 19, 2012 at 12:33 pm

AHA!!

And now I KNOW the reason why I had the dream this week that I LOST MY WEDDING RING.

To a Colombian, no dream is for no reason.

Lucky there wasn’t a black mouse seen scampering away with the wedding ring.

Now, THAT would be an omen.

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Alexandra February 19, 2012 at 12:36 pm

But, seriously…

I love that man.

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Suniverse
Twitter:
February 19, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I need to get my wedding ring sized, but I think I want a new one. So I’ll just play the odds.

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Lady Jennie February 21, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I think my practical husband would probably just get a twist-tie and make do.

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