I wanted to write

by Marinka on September 9, 2011

a very different post today.

I wanted to write about the very funny but the very maddening things that happened with me and the kids yesterday and Husbandrinka’s reaction. I’d even asked Peajaye to do a sketch for me. It was going to be fantastic.

But then I got an email from a friend, telling me the unbearable news that our friend Anna‘s beautiful son was tragically lost in the floods yesterday.

I can’t make it make sense.

I can’t reconcile that the Anna who has made me laugh so much on her blog and on mine, and who I was excited to meet at BlogHer in NYC last year, is going though something that no parent would wish on their worst enemy.

The great thing about social media is that we are all connected.

But it comes at a price.

It connects us in a way that we couldn’t have possibly imagined. We realize that “blog friends” is just another term for friends that we share our days with. Sometimes those parts of our days that we don’t share with the people we see in our ‘real life’.

Because it’s somehow easier on-line. It’s at our own time and pace. And that while we share virtual glasses of wine with our blog friends, and joke with them about US Weekly, we are in their lives we sit next to them and think “me, too” and we fall in love with their families.

And when one of them suffers an unspeakable, tragic loss, we bear witness to it.

And we mourn with an ache that we did not think was possible with “blog friend.”

I have been crying all day. I’ve been thinking of the word keening.

My heart is with Anna and her family.

Please keep her and her family in your prayers. And if you’re mourning, do not for a second think that the fact that you know Anna through “blogging only” diminishes it one whit.

UPDATE: Please visit Kate’s site for a link up of posts for Anna. And information about donation.

One year ago ...

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{ 55 comments… read them below or add one }

Catherine
Twitter:
September 9, 2011 at 8:05 pm

This is just really heartbreaking. There are no words……

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Cheryl
Twitter:
September 9, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Thank you for sharing this Marinka. It matters.

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Kate September 9, 2011 at 8:14 pm

I was already in my own emotional space watching coverage of the anniversary of September 11. I was on twitter when I saw a tweet about this… I do not know Anna, but I have 2 sons around her sons age. I was immediately moved to tears!
My heart,thoughts,& prayers go out to her and her family!!

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Kate Coveny Hood
Twitter:
September 9, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Thank you for writing this. I think a lot of people wondered if it was “okay” for them to greive today. To make this personal. I know I did and I DO see Anna outside of blogging. But you’re right – we often feel like we don’t count as much as the friends who didn’t start out as one of the “people in the computer”.

And we do. We absolutely do.

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Stimey
Twitter:
September 9, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Me too. Love to you, and of course to Anna.

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anymommy September 9, 2011 at 8:23 pm

You put it into words perfectly. All my love to Anna and her family. I am grieving for you and with you today.

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Ann
Twitter:
September 9, 2011 at 8:24 pm

xo

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Janice Nix September 9, 2011 at 8:25 pm

So sad and heartbreaking. It is amazing that we become so close to people we will probably never meet. I cried when Jennie’s husbands died and I worried about you and Kelcey when the Hurricane hit. And I will pray tonight for Anna and her family.

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wendy @ mama one to three September 9, 2011 at 8:27 pm

you said that beautifully. Prayers are with your dear friend.

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Taryn September 9, 2011 at 8:33 pm

Oh man, that is absolutely terrible. Poor family.

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Maggie May September 9, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Oh my God. That’s all I can feel.

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mosey (kim) September 9, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Beautifully said. Our hearts ache just as much for our friends who are hurting whether it’s our neighbour next door or the blog friend with whom we share bits of everyday life.

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Maggie May September 9, 2011 at 8:37 pm

What can we do?

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Josefina September 9, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Oh, that makes my heart hurt.

Keening is just the right word.

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Suniverse
Twitter:
September 9, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Oh, that is terrible. My heart goes out to her and her family.

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missbanshee September 9, 2011 at 9:01 pm

Oh god, my heart is breaking. And seriously, can we do anything? My internet family means the world to me.

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Wendi
Twitter:
September 9, 2011 at 9:19 pm

I’m so sad for Anna.

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Issa
Twitter:
September 9, 2011 at 9:36 pm

This was a beautiful post Marinka. My heart is just broken for Anna. I can’t even imagine her pain.

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Meghan September 9, 2011 at 9:45 pm

This is perfect. I was devastated when I heard about Anna’s loss.

Thank you for writing this, M.

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Christy September 9, 2011 at 9:59 pm

Beautiful, Marinka. xo

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Brittany (BrittanyandTahn) September 9, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Oh Marinka, this is the second tragedy you wrote about this month… So sorry to hear.

Thank you for sharing this story. Sending positive thoughts.

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b a seagull
Twitter:
September 9, 2011 at 10:26 pm

It takes it out of you, for a very long time, when a friend loses a child. I am so sorry.

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Melissa A. September 9, 2011 at 10:52 pm

My worst nightmare, losing a child. I cannot even imagine.

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Jill
Twitter:
September 9, 2011 at 11:58 pm

Thank you. I just saw her a few weeks ago while having our own mini BlogHer ’11 while everyone else was in SD. We were excited to finally be on the same time zone and to eventually get our kids together. I’m heartbroken. As is everyone else who knows her. Online or IRL.

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Alexandra
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 12:18 am

I only discovered Anna a month ago, through meeting Kate at BlogHer.

I loved her style instantly, and would visit daily: she was unpredictable, and honest, and didn’t pretend to be perfect.

I really, really like her writing.

I last visited Wens, when she had put put the back to school post of her two children. I commented simply, “Beautiful!” and went about my day, like she did.

Who would know, that the next day after this post, her boy would be lost.

I cried for her, as a mother, I cried for her.

It doesn’t matter if I only “met” her a month ago. The pain of the news was deep.

Because it’s something I can’t imagine in my life.

I just can’t.

And now, I’m crying again…because it is a mother’s life we’re reading about.

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Kristen
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 1:01 am

My heart just aches for this mom. I spent some time on her blog today. What a beautiful family and an unfathomable loss.

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K A B L O O E Y
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 1:09 am

I know I don’t “know her” know her, but Anna’s presence was so warm and disarming in its humor and kindness, that I feel this one deeply. That and how it’s every mother’s greatest fear, that some senseless force will take my child, and life as we knew it will be changed… in that instant. I so wish they weren’t feeling this pain.

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Kirsten September 10, 2011 at 1:24 am

So well said Marinka. My heart is just breaking for Anna and her family.

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deborah l quinn
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 6:27 am

Heartbreak. The word tragedy doesn’t do justice to the fact that Anna’s world has just cracked into a million pieces. Beautifully written, Marinka – our thoughts are with Anna, and her friends and loved ones, in this dark dark time.

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Heather September 10, 2011 at 7:27 am

There are no words. Praying for Anna and her family.

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Becky
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 7:54 am

My soul aches. I just want to make it all better. And wish I had that power.

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Tonia Sanders
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 8:08 am

Thank you so much for sending me the link to this post. It couldn’t be more true. I hope Anna feels the outpouring of love from near and far all over the internet. This tragedy has been so numbing.

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hokgardner
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 8:39 am

Beautiful post. Well said.

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Stephanie Smirnov
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 9:01 am

Oh god I am so sorry. Just so so sorry. Crying too.

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Annie September 10, 2011 at 9:20 am

I haven’t gotten out of bed since reading this. My heart feels broken. I have never met Anna but that doesn’t matter. I have 3 children and my heart is connected to hers as a mother. There can be no greater pain than losing a child…unimaginable. I don’t know what to do except pray for her.

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Kati
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 9:24 am

I’ve never met Anna, never even heard of her before last night. But I can’t stop crying for her and her mommy heart. There is nothing that can prepare a woman to lose her child, and no words anyone can say will make it all okay.

I’m praying for her and her entire family. That somehow they will find peace, comfort, and strength and feel the love of the community.

Thank you for bringing this to our attention, Marinka, as much as it breaks my heart, I’m glad I know so that I can pray for them all.

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ChiTown Girl September 10, 2011 at 9:50 am

Oh my God. I don’t even know how to wrap my head around this. I read over at Vodka Mom’s place that she lost her son, but I didn’t know how until coming here. Just so tragic and unbelievable.

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awesome dude September 10, 2011 at 10:11 am

Even when the cancers will be deciphered and vascular diseases brought under control accidents will be with us.

Praying is always good.

Our prayers are with Anna.

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annie September 10, 2011 at 10:26 am

I don’t know Anna but I know that if you love someone they must be special. My heart is breaking for her and her family….and everyone who loved them in real life or through her writing. xoxo

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Megan September 10, 2011 at 12:20 pm

I don’t know Anna either, but it doesn’t stop me from being profoundly sad and shocked. Much love to Anna and her family. And to you as well.

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Kati
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

I can’t let this go, it won’t leave my heart or mind. So I feel like that’s God’s way of telling me to keep praying for them all.

I was just flipping through Anna’s blog and I found an entry she wrote in July about her children’s return from summer camp. She was specifically talking about her daughter feeling led to a certain verse of Scripture, and I have to tell you I got chills when I read it. I am copying it here so you can see what I mean:

<<>>

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Kati
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Here are the verses she felt guided to in Isaiah 43. For Molly, for me, and maybe for you:

“But now, this is what the Lord says– he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

And you know what she said after sharing this with me? “Mom, I’m so glad God led me to those encouraging verses, but it makes me nervous because I wonder if that means I’m going to go through a lot of hardship in life and REALLY need them to lean on.”

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Maggie, dammit
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

“Keening.”

Yes.

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Anthony from CharismaticKid
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Wow that is absolutely horrible. I will be thinking of their family.

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Rene Foran September 10, 2011 at 1:45 pm

I have never met Anna. I know only her by words and art; today I grieve for her as if she were family.
May Anna and her family and friends find wisdom, grace and strength through this difficult time.

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Scary Mommy
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Beautifully said, Marinka.

Sigh.

XO

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Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 3:54 pm

That’s just heartbreaking. Holding her family (and you) in my thoughts.

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Miss Britt
Twitter:
September 10, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Fuck.

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Jennifer Lee September 10, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Beautifully said. What ana amazing community. What a tragic story. My heart aches for her.

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dusty earth mother September 10, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Praying for Anna. And crying so much.

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Loukia September 10, 2011 at 11:47 pm

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her or her family since finding out the tragic news yesterday. It’s sickening, really and makes me short of breath, because I can imagine her pain and shock an horror. Her nightmare is real and I don’t know how anyone gets over this type of devestation. My prayers are with her and her family. My heart hurts bad, Marinka. Being a mother is insanely emotional, and scary, and just… I have no other words.

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Julie
Twitter:
September 11, 2011 at 2:41 am

If you think about it, the blogging community is a loyal bunch. We support each other, celebrate and share our common interests and feel the pain when one is hurting. I am devastated by the tragic news of Annas son. I find myself thinking of her constantly. I have never met her, yet in feel I know her. My prayers are with her and her family. Thank you fir sharing.

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Sarah at The Stroller Ballet September 11, 2011 at 2:21 pm

This is so heartbreaking. My prayers are with Anna and her family.

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Marta
Twitter:
September 12, 2011 at 10:42 am

I saw it on twitter on Friday, its so unbelievably awful one can’t imagine. I searched online to find the news report to find exactly what happened, I relooked at the photos from his first day of 7th grade, and from earlier this summer and I felt this awful ache at just how unfair life can be.

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Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him
Twitter:
September 12, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Incomprehensible. Friends like you, and others from the blog world, will be good for her even if she can’t be consoled in person.

Reply

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