I’ve Been Discovered!

by Marinka on January 6, 2011

I was just looking at the comments in my spam filter, because sometimes real comments from readers get caught amid the grow beautiful penis! enticements and I found this gem:

You are soooo gifted in writing. God is truly utilizing you in tremendous methods. You are doing a great job! This was a wonderful blog!

This came from someone named Cindy, whose URL indicated that she has her finger on the pulse of many shopping deals.

But lest I get too excited, I also got this tweet from my “friend”¬†Neil:

How sharper than a serpent's tooth!

Isn’t that lovely? Neil thinks that my asking Young Ladrinka humorous questions on yesterday’s video almost ruined his precious timing.

Which is so unfair, because I think my questions added a lot to the video, and words like “ruined” and “your interruptions” have a somewhat negative connotation.

I’m sure that God, who’s busy utilizing me in tremendous methods, totally agrees with me.

One year ago ...

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

elizabeth-flourish in progress
Twitter:
January 6, 2011 at 9:29 pm

You go, girl! From, God.

Reply

Nadine January 6, 2011 at 9:36 pm

Forgettabout Neil and his negative connotations. In his defense, maybe the bus fumes got to him, or someone picked his pocket and tweeted that negativity under his name.

Reply

suburbancorrespondent
Twitter:
January 6, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Well, he did say “almost.” Don’t take it too hard!

Reply

Peajaye
Twitter:
January 6, 2011 at 10:55 pm

It kinda sounds like Cindy’s saying that you’re just being used by your boyfriend, God. No?
And maybe you could hire Neil to direct your next blog production so that the timing is perfect. Maybe you could also hire someone for the art direction and lighting while you’re at it.

Reply

Neil
Twitter:
January 6, 2011 at 11:50 pm

Look I understand a show biz mother. I had one myself. I can only assume that when you were a young girl in Russia, your dream was to be a famous comedienne and play at the Bolshoi Theater Then you were uprooted to come to America, where you had to work as a New York City cabbie rather than pursing your dream. Now you have your own son, and ever since he was a little tot, you were feeding him with a diet of “classic” Catskills resort jokes, forcing him to watch old videos of Don Rickles and Shecky Greene. You became such a taskmaster, that you wouldn’t even allow him to watch any of his beloved Japanese robot toy cartoon shows until he did his homework of memorizing the oeuvre of Milton Berle.

“Mommy,” do I need to become a comedian, he would say, tears running down his face. “I really want to go to MIT and become a robotic engineer.”

“Nyet. Durak! Don’t be an idiot!” you would scream. “You are destined to become a famous American comedian.”

As he grew older, he improved his comedic style and timing. But seeing him tell one one-liner after another, hearing him “kill” at your yearly Hanukkah party with his signature “Chief Fart” routine, made you green with envy.

Finally, it was young Ladrinka’s time to shine. Like the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show, he got a major gig. He was to be featured on a extremely popular blog written by a BlogHer keynote speaker/Soy Milk Spokeswoman!

The camera was rolling. Ladrinka started in on with his bit. He had the audience in the palm of his hands. After “the doctor gave two pills to the chief in order to make him fart,” — as the famous routine goes — the laughter was so loud, it was like being in a rock club hearing U2. Everything about the moment was perfect. And then… the stage mother stuck her head in. She had to JUMP IN with her own lame joke, in a desperate attempt to steal the spotlight from her own son, still hurting over her own dream of doing her stand-up routine at the Bolshoi. She just couldn’t let him do the joke on his own.

Was Ladrinka a success? Yes. But for most viewers, the sad spectacle of Marinka sadly trying to outdo her own more talented son, will be remembered even more.

Ladrinka, here’s some advice. Find a talent agent. And do NOT let your mother anywhere near the contract.

Reply

Peajaye
Twitter:
January 7, 2011 at 8:41 pm

hilarious. f*cking hilarious and inspired. neil, i’ve read your blog and it’s good – but never this good.

Reply

calliope January 7, 2011 at 3:06 am

Nearly ruin ur son’s timing on a joke?

How dare u?

And Neil, geez, for someone so verbose, I’m surprised at that blatant use of teen style chat speak. Not a good example for other online writers. Tsk, tsk.

Reply

Scary Mommy
Twitter:
January 7, 2011 at 5:54 am

This was in my spam folder yesterday, for real: “Your blog is well written and informative. Would you be interested in gaining larger stature and a bulging organ?”

I’m taking it under consideration.

Reply

Kate Lewis
Twitter:
January 7, 2011 at 7:51 am

Clearly Neil does not have children or he would know that these little urchins *require* our interruptions in order to be video worthy. Dang, it’s only because of us mothers are they cool in the first place. Gah.
(giggle)

Reply

Glamamom
Twitter:
January 7, 2011 at 9:08 pm

You should consider yourself lucky to have a friend like Neil to keep you in check. All the ass-kissing comments will turn you into Britney Spears.

Reply

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