Just Because I’m a Hypochondriac, Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Dying

by Marinka on February 9, 2009

UPDATED: Just so that you know that I’m not the insane one in the relationship, Husbandrinka asked me if Nicki was “ok” because the stripe on her back “looked sort of weird.” WTF? She’s a tabby!

Over the weekend, our new “kitten” Nicki sneezed many times. I overheard my daughter asking her if she was allergic to young ladrinka. When the kids went to bed, I googled “cats sneezing” and like with any symptom that you can ever google, I learned that it’s either nothing or a certain death.

I shared this news with Husbandrinka and he said, “Great, so not only do I have to deal with your thinking that you have every disease under the sun, now Nicki does too?”
See how he totally made that all about him? If there is one thing that I can’t stand, it’s self-centered people. And the other thing is people who use expressions like “everything under the sun”. Yes, this is how we gear up for Valentine’s Day around here, why do you ask?
“I am very proactive where my health is concerned,” I advised him.
He didn’t answer. There’s a slight chance that he suspects that I am a hypochondriac, just because in the last eighteen months I’d diagnosed myself with a brain tumor, a mini stroke, a regular size stroke, testicular cancer (did you know that you needed testicles for that shit? You’ve come a long way baby, my ass), oh yeah, colon cancer, MS, heart disease, all sorts of breast issues, ovarian cancer, free floating cancer, pancreatic cancer, stage 4 and what I’d assumed was diabetic shock but turned out to be a perfectly normal reaction to seeing recent photos of Janet Jackson.
Most of these required a visit to a specialist until a neurologist whose waiting room was filled with patients aged approximately dead, suggested that I take something for my “anxiety condition”. Is this treating me like a true “partner in health”? Unless he thinks I have neurological insanity? Must make follow up appointment. With Nicki. Because no cat is going to sneeze on my watch.

One year ago ...

  • 8 - 2015
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