Kristen

by Marinka on December 19, 2011

Just once I’d like to be married to someone who gets me.

Husbandrinka and I went to a party in DC over the weekend and we were staying with my college friend Kristin and her husband and daughter and in preparation for our staying with them, Huabandrinka sent me many emails and in each one he spelled Kristin’s name with an “e”.

At first I didn’t say anything because I figured how many times is he going to write her name, but apparently the answer was a A LOT because after the fifth email of KRISTEN this and KRISTEN that, the vein in my forehead was throbbing as loudly as Marisa Tomei’s biological clock was ticking in My Cousin Vinny.  But unlike Marisa, I suspected that there’d be no Oscar in my future for putting up with it.

“You know, Kristin’s name is spelled with an I,” I told him.

“Yes, of course I know,” he said. And then looked at me as though I were the weirdo in the conversation.

“Then why  have you been spelling it with an E?”

“Because that’s how Kristen is spelled.”

“No.”

“KRISTEN.”

“No, with an i—oh, I see.  With two I’s.”

“I didn’t know that. Usually Kristen is spelled with an e.”

“I wish you’d remember that her name is spelled with an i.  I’m under a lot of pressure this holiday season and I can’t deal with your spelling her name with an E.”

He looked at me as though I were something less than reasonable .  And then, probably to spite me, never wrote her name again.

“Hey, you know what?” I decided to add some fun to our relationship. “When you see Kristin, can you do me a favor and not mention the trip she and I took to Sedona last month?”

See, my plan was that he would say “why not?” a perfectly reasonable question, since I talked about my long weekend with my girlfriends so much and I’d say, “no reason” and be all mysterious and he’d suspect that instead of going with my girlfriends to Sedona I’d really gone some place else with a secret lover.

And then he’d accuse me and just as he was about to dismember me in a jealous rage, I’d say, “haha, just kidding! I really was with Kristin! Go ahead, ask her!” and we’d all have a fun laugh and he’d feel bad for not trusting me.

But instead of saying “why not?” like a normal person, when I asked Husbandrinka not to mention Sedona to Kristin, he said “ok.”

OK?

Why would he be ok with something so suspicious?!

Answer: To deny me happiness.

There is no other explanation.

________________________

Thank you very much to Babble (pronounced BabbEL, to rhyme with NOBEL) for including me in their list of The Top 100 Mom Blogs of 2011.  I’m number 96! I’m honored and humbled (and yet very braggy) to be included among such amazing writers.  I’m glad that not everyone is out to deny me happiness and joy!

One year ago ...

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Ilana
Twitter:
December 19, 2011 at 1:14 am

You should get married to Babble. I bet they would be totally suspicious if you told them not to mention your Sedona trip. Plus, I’m sure they have spell-checkers.

Reply

Sarah Mac December 19, 2011 at 6:12 am

Ahh, that’s just plain MEAN!

Bloody men.

Reply

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes December 19, 2011 at 7:06 am

God, husbands can be so insensitive sometimes.

Reply

Peajaye
Twitter:
December 19, 2011 at 10:29 am

OMG, Marinka, clearly Husbandrinka is having an affair with Kristin, and he’s “gaslighting” you with his misspellings and his affected disinterest. If you read more romance/crime and less “literature,” you’d be up on these things.

Reply

Megan December 19, 2011 at 10:51 am

Men. Thank goodness Babble gets you.

Reply

joeinvegas December 19, 2011 at 11:35 am

Why should he be suspicious about your trip to Sedona? (Or did you rally go somewhere else with the guys?)

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dusty earth mother December 19, 2011 at 1:12 pm

I think you rendez-voused with Babble in Sedona. Is “rendez-voused” a word?

Reply

Tonya December 19, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Congrats!
…On the Babble thing not on your husband’s clear deficiency in spelling. Maybe he needs a tutor?

Reply

Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac
Twitter:
December 19, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Humbled yet braggy makes for a delicious happiness cocktail. Drink it up and don’t share with that husband of yours. Congrats!

Reply

alaina
Twitter:
December 19, 2011 at 9:23 pm

husbands. ugh. they say you can’t live with them, can’t shoot them, but i think both are entirely possible.

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K-Line December 19, 2011 at 11:15 pm

As a Kristin whose name is constantly misspelled as “Kristen” (or any other way you can possibly misspell it), I thank you for this public service announcement.

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Loukia December 20, 2011 at 12:42 am

Oh man. This was hilarious! I’ve missed reading your blog. Stupid work s d their demands that allow me next to no time on the Internet for fun lately! And once I get home, kids, cook, clean, repeat. Sorry, I’m complaining. This post was brilliantly funny. I love you! And congrats on Babble. Whatever, 96. You are in MY top five, always. Oh, and I was 101! Heh. 😉

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tracy@sellabitmum
Twitter:
December 20, 2011 at 7:07 am

Thank god you don’t know a Kristan. So confused. Also, so happy for you and Babble.

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Anna Lefler
Twitter:
December 20, 2011 at 10:28 am

Denying others happiness is really what makes the world go ’round – especially at the holidays.

And CONGRATS on the Babble deal! You totally deserve that!!

XOXO

A.

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Suniverse
Twitter:
December 20, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Congratulations on the Babbel/Nobel prize. You are absolutely deserving of it.

I thought that whatever happens in Sedona stays in Sedona.

Reply

the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
December 20, 2011 at 9:10 pm

I have a few friends names kristen/kristin and for the love of me can never remember how to spell their names.

Reply

anna see December 20, 2011 at 10:09 pm

he sounds annoying. sheesh.

congrats on your award!

Reply

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