Mama called me the other day to report on some exciting news.
“Good news,” she told me, “I got picked up at the park today.”
“What does that mean?” I was in no mood for a Mr. Goodbar story.
“I’m sitting on park bench and a man comes to sit next to me. He is from Trinidad or Tabago.”
“Trinidad and Tabago.”
“From both? Ok. So he sits next to me and he says are you enjoying the weather and I say no, I’m here with my granddaughter.”
“That doesn’t even make sense. Why can’t you be enjoying weather when you’re there with your granddaughter.”
“Because I wanted him to know I did not want funny business. And your daughter should not be going out alone, because men are trying to pick up women everywhere.”
“No offense, mama, but I doubt that a sixty seven year old woman and a thirteen year old girl catch the same eye.”
“You laugh, but he was very interested. Perverts don’t care about age.”
“I think perverts care about age a lot.”
“I’m not expert on perverts like you.”
“I’m NOT AN EXPERT ON PERVERTS!”
“Why are you yelling. So moody. Anyway, he told me he never met a Russian person before.”
“How did he even know you were from Russia?”
“I told him. I thought it was safe to tell him that. But I didn’t give him any other information.”
“You did well, comrade.”
“I did. But others may be in danger beaucse they don’t know how to limit information because they consider themselves experts on perverts.”
“Oh my GOD, Mama! I am not an expert on perverts. And he didn’t even sound like a pervert.”
“Some expert you are. He was definitely pervert. What normal person talks to other people in the park?”
Sometimes the logic is strong there is really no room to argue.