Mama Makes A Friend

by Marinka on June 24, 2012

Mama called me the other day to report on some exciting news.

“Good news,” she told me, “I got picked up at the park today.”

“What does that mean?” I was in no mood for a Mr. Goodbar story.

“I’m sitting on park bench and a man comes to sit next to me. He is from Trinidad or Tabago.”

“Trinidad and Tabago.”

“From both? Ok. So he sits next to me and he says are you enjoying the weather and I say no, I’m here with my granddaughter.

“That doesn’t even make sense. Why can’t you be enjoying weather when you’re there with your granddaughter.”

“Because I wanted him to know I did not want funny business. ¬†And your daughter should not be going out alone, because men are trying to pick up women everywhere.”

“No offense, mama, but I doubt that a sixty seven year old woman and a thirteen year old girl catch the same eye.”

“You laugh, but he was very interested. Perverts don’t care about age.”

“I think perverts care about age a lot.”

“I’m not expert on perverts like you.”

“I’m NOT AN EXPERT ON PERVERTS!”

“Why are you yelling. So moody. Anyway, he told me he never met a Russian person before.”

“How did he even know you were from Russia?”

“I told him. I thought it was safe to tell him that. But I didn’t give him any other information.”

“You did well, comrade.”

“I did. But others may be in danger beaucse they don’t know how to limit information because they consider themselves experts on perverts.”

“Oh my GOD, Mama! I am not an expert on perverts. And he didn’t even sound like a pervert.”

“Some expert you are. He was definitely pervert. What normal person talks to other people in the park?”

Sometimes the logic is strong there is really no room to argue.

 

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Wendi
Twitter:
June 24, 2012 at 7:22 pm

“Perverts don’t care about age.” I can already see the PSA starring Hugh Hefner.

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suburbancorrespondent
Twitter:
June 24, 2012 at 8:53 pm

I think your mother needs her own blog.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
June 24, 2012 at 9:00 pm

It’s so wonderful that your mom is out there meeting new people.

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anna see June 24, 2012 at 9:52 pm

was he at least a good looking perve?

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Arieloser June 24, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Ahaha! I love your mom.

I’m going to bake her cookies. Dose she e-mail? I’m going to e-mail her some cookies.

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Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes June 25, 2012 at 8:09 am

Basically your mother admitted that she is the expert on perverts.

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Mexmom June 25, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I wonder why would she think you are an expert on perverts?

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deborah l quinn
Twitter:
June 25, 2012 at 1:06 pm

while Mama was chatting up this trinidadian tobaggoner, where was your daughter? If Mama is dishing with strangers, who is keeping an eye on Lolita?

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Nelly
Twitter:
June 25, 2012 at 10:15 pm

I’m dying to know if the pervert was honestly trying to pick Mama up!!

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Lady Jennie June 26, 2012 at 3:47 am

Okay this is funny: Sometimes the logic is strong there is really no room to argue.

Your mom raised a smart girl. (And I love your parents).

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Awesome Dude June 26, 2012 at 12:15 pm

This kind of logic can be very traumatic as well.

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anymommy June 26, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Pervert expert is my favorite phrase of the summer. (You make me laugh every day. xo.)

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alaina
Twitter:
June 26, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Apparently its normal for Southerns to talk to random people in the park. And I’m from the North. Hence the real reason for the Civil War.

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Alexandra June 26, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Dying.

And loving on your family: the experts on pervs and drug money saving tips.

All american melting pot.

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dusty earth mother June 26, 2012 at 11:34 pm

A Russian, a teenager and a pervert walked into a park…

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