Most of the Real Housewives of New York and Me

by Marinka on October 14, 2009

Guess what I did tonight?

I went to a Kodak-sponsored event that was hosted by RHONY’s own Jill Zarin, one of my top five favorite Real Housewives of New York. As soon as I got to the hotel, I was asked to sign a nondisclosure manifesto. So let me reassure you that I will not be disclosing anything, and not just because I was too busy sampling all the signature cocktails.

I signed my life away and then the check in lady told me that Bravo was filming and OMG, can you guess what they were filming? It wasn’t Shear Genius, but it certainly would have been my lucky day if they were styling hair. Yes, it was RHONY.

All the fabulous ladies were there. Kelly, The Countess, Jill, of course, and Ramona. Also Bobby! And Allie!

Here are my somewhat catty observations:

* Is LuAnn’s ex husband blind or something? Because he may be a Count, but she’s a fucking goddess.

* Kelly is beautiful too. And both she and LuAnn are so tall. And thin. Fuck.

* Kelly is also smiley.

and toothy.

* Jill is adorable. There was a woman who was doing her make up that looked so superglamorous it was almost too much for me. The make up woman reminded me of Anna Nicole Smith. Except, you know, alive.

* Ramona has a cute new haircut. She is shorter than the others. Also, she was kind of off to the side.

* Except when Jill was making a presentation, there was a Raising of the Voices and everyone looked over and Ramona and Kelly were having a heated exchange. I can’t remember what was said, I think it was along the lines of “Do you read The Mouthy Housewives? That’s where I get all my advice!” and then Ramona said, “Yes, I love it!” or maybe something else that ended with Ramona STORMING OUT and Kelly saying “Bye! Hope you enjoyed that” or SOMETHING. Shit, I’d be the worst spy. But it was totally dramatic and JUST LIKE ON TV!

* The only RHONY that I saw eating anything was Jill. So I took a picture.

* I am a very bad photographer with a piece of shit for a camera.

As you can see, there were people there with bigger and better cameras. Also, they seemed to be following the concept of FACING the subject that they were photographing. Show offs.
* It wasn’t until I got home that I realized that Bethenny wasn’t there. I didn’t miss her.

* I stood right next to Bobby a few times. Yes, you all may touch me.

* I did miss Alex and Simon, though.

* I am now having a huge anxiety attack that I was secretly filmed by Bravo. Probably talking to myself. And putting hors d’ovaries into my purse.

It was so much fun! I didn’t talk to anyone except like the head of Kodak or something and the barkeep, but I’m pretty sure that the Real Housewives of New York and I are totally best friends now. God, I hope they want to borrow my clothes. Or lend me theirs.

One year ago ...

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Sissy October 18, 2009 at 9:27 am

so I guess I get my hand slapped for not knowing there were Housewives of New York? cuz last I knew they were in Orange County and they had different names. I do however know that Dora has a new friend…


October 18, 2009 at 12:40 pm

Marinka, i love you, but i have no idea how you can stand that show. GOOD LORD.


Noelle October 18, 2009 at 11:47 pm

See, this is why it sucks to not live in New York anymore! Because nobody really wants to watch The Real Housewives of Utah. Especially if there’s only one husband.


October 19, 2009 at 5:00 am

I met Bethenny at the Yoga festival in 2008, and I had no idea who she was except that she made pretty good vegan gluten free cupcakes. Then I found out that she was on RHONY and I honestly could never understand why. She is not married and she is most definitely NOT a housewife. But she is much funnier and pleasant in person than she is on TV, that’s for sure.


October 21, 2009 at 9:58 pm

I was at the same event. Fun times, i only disagree with you on Kelly. Great bod, too much time in the sun. I think the countess and Jill are soooo much better looking.

Jill was funny and really liked her a lot.


Undomestic Diva
April 9, 2010 at 11:55 am

Super cool. I just watched RHONY for the first time in forever last night so I had lots of filling-in-the-blanks to do… Like wtf was Jill saying in her and Bethanny’s heated AMBUSH! about someone slitting their neck? Oh Em Gee please do elaborate for us less faithful viewers.

Very cool that we might see you stuffing your purse with hors d’oeuvres. Keepin’ it real and whatnot. 😉


Karen at French Skinny April 9, 2010 at 4:22 pm

I watched RHONY last night for the first time because I saw your post.
I love you and your genius, but I’m really scared to visit New York now.


Selfish Mom
April 15, 2010 at 9:51 am

Knowing that you were there could almost make me think about possibly watching that show. But not quite.


Mrs. K April 23, 2010 at 9:03 am

i just watched that episode yesterday and totally saw you! were you the one being real cool about it all? 😉

gosh kelly does have huge shoulders- sorta like me, except i have a bigger ass so it balances it out in the end. (no pun intended)


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