Mother Russia

by Marinka on June 4, 2010

Mama went to Russia this week, to visit her sister.

I think that less planning was involved when the Jews crossed the desert in the Old Testament. Although they wandered without a navigation system for 40 years, and Mama flew on FinnAir. (Are you wondering why I linked to FinnAir? It’s so that you all will click on it and book flights and then FinnAir will come to me and say, “Marinka! You have saved our airline! For this, we will reroute our flights and fly you from New York to New Orleans for the Mom 2.0 conference that you want to attend for free! And we’ll provide you with snacks. We have to charge for those, due to FAA regulations. But to make it up to you, we’ll also pick one of your blogging friends en route to New Orleans and bring her too! We know that it will be hard for you to pick just one friend, because you are super popular and have many friends, but again, regulations.” So that’s why I linked to FinnAir. From now on, maybe you could just trust me and save us both some time.)

But Mama’s pre-departure preparations almost killed me.
“Do you have any clothes that you no wear?” she asked me. “I will bring to Russia.”
I looked at my closet and pulled out some dresses. Some still had Target tags on them, a real find.
She looked them over.
“I will not take Michelle Obama with me,” she told me.
This was big news for me, because I had no idea that mama and Michelle were planning on traveling together and I could only imagine the First Lady’s disappointment of being rejected by the First Mama.
“What do you mean?” I asked, just in case I misunderstood.
“Michelle Obama not to Russia, too open. My sister is in fifties.”
Being a practicing hypochondriac myself, I am always on alert for signs of a stroke in others and became very concerned.
“Mama, I am alarmed,” I said. “You don’t know Michelle Obama.”
“I mean the red dress. I can’t take it, because you need Michelle Obama arms to wear it and my sister is in her 50s.” Then she looked at me. “You are age to wear it, but not good idea,” she said diplomatically.

So Michelle Obama is back in my closet.

But Mama wasn’t done.
“I will give you a matreshka,” she told me. A matreshka is a nesting doll. Although I have the body of a young lass (in my freezer) and am young at heart, I haven’t played with a nesting doll ever since I was introduced to Baby Alive and other capitalist playthings.

“Why will you give me matreshka?” I asked her carefully, knowing that sudden movements can upset the, shall we say, eccentric.

“You know, matreshka! The phone card. It is idiot affordable!”

“Do you mean crazy affordable?”

Mama will be back next week. I miss her. But I have my matreshka. And Michelle Obama.

One year ago ...

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

June 4, 2010 at 9:37 am

Well “bon voyage” to Mama! Translated from the French loosely, this means “Don’t let your plane crash in Russia because then you are just screwed.”


Denise June 4, 2010 at 10:24 am

I don’t know about the red dress dilema. My cousin, Luba, wore a red dress when my family went to Russia to vist. Trust me, she is no Michelle Obama either. Now Natasha prefers the matronly shift dresses. Hope Mama has a ssafe trip!


June 4, 2010 at 10:42 am

Yes, let’s definitely take FinnAir to Mom2.0. We’ll just have to be routed through Finland, but that’ll just give me more time to snuggle with you.


anna see June 4, 2010 at 10:46 am

I was picturing Mama trying to stuff Michelle in her suitcase.


Zee June 4, 2010 at 10:53 am

You’re lucky you have Michelle Obama in your closet. I think I have some Barbara Bush.


tracey June 4, 2010 at 2:24 pm

That is a RIOT.


Kate Coveny Hood
June 4, 2010 at 3:08 pm

I just like that people in other countries associate good muscle tone with the white house – takes the focus away from the sneers about our grossly obese population…


Country-Fried Mama
June 4, 2010 at 10:21 pm

I am so relieved to know that motherhood in New York City also involves clothes with tags from Target. Reminds me very much of motherhood in Alabama. I suddenly feel more cosmopolitan.

(Safe travels, Mama!)


anymommy June 4, 2010 at 11:40 pm

I miss mama already. I’ve alerted the secret service about the first lady in your closet. Don’t worry, I’ll use your seat to New Orleans.


Sophie June 5, 2010 at 5:45 am

Couldn’t mama’s sister have emailed her pictures of the dresses she prefers, so she wouldn’t get your unused castoffs?


dusty earth mother June 5, 2010 at 7:16 am

So loving your mama. You should have put her in the red dress for her flight just so you could blog about her sister’s reaction when mama stepped off the plane.


June 5, 2010 at 9:36 am

ummmm….Michele Obama hasn’t been seen since….just sayin’ …LOL


JAS June 5, 2010 at 12:20 pm

Laughing and laughing. Just came across your blog from Annie’s and you are a riot! Thanks for the smile this morning!


June 7, 2010 at 4:16 pm

Umm…I love your mama.


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