One at a Time

by Marinka on May 10, 2010

Lately I’ve been concerned that I don’t have a bucket list.  I have no idea why it’s called a bucket list, I assume because Schindler’s list was already tooken, as my 8 year old insists on saying, no matter how many times I tell him that the past participle of the verb “to take” is taken. Really, at this point it’s easier to change the English language than for him to get it right.  Please adjust your speech accordingly.

Unless it has something to do with “kicking the bucket”, in which case, dear lord, whoever is in charge of coining phrases really dropped the ball on this one. Because the Daisy Pushing List has a much better ring to it and is more springy.

But it seems that everyone who is anyone has some kind if a list of things that they want to accomplish, so I’m feeling all left out.  So I started one.

1. Get rid of Husbandrinka’s stuff that annoys me.

So far I only have one item on the list, but I think that it’s the quality of the item that counts and not the quantity.  I mean I can totally make a bucket list like:

Look at a rainbow

Learn how to say I love you in four languages

Confirm that no two snowflakes are alike

Kiss a butterfly

Milk a goat

Appear on Wife Swap

Launch child into space in a homemade balloon

But I didn’t. I picked a quality item.  Because I love Husbandrinka and I want him to have a clean aura.

This is the first item that I wanted to get rid of:

Do you know what it is? No it’s not a diaphragm, although it does have magical contraceptive powers.  It is a thing that you put a cap in and then load it into the dishwasher to wash the cap. OMFG.

So I said to Husbandrinka, “I have a great idea. Let’s throw this out!”
Unfortunately Husbandrinka had a very different idea.
Husbandrinka’s idea was to get more of those cap washers so that he could wash all his caps at the same time.

After my heart resumed its regular beating pattern, I begged and pleaded with Husbandrinka not to invest in any more of these cap washers. I’m not a listologist, but it seems that if my goal is to get rid of this eyesore and instead we get more of them, that’s sort of a bucket list fail, and I have to somehow become immortal because my one goal is not being met.

Finally, Husbandrinka relented. He will not get any more cap washers. But sadly, I am not allowed to disappear this one.

I think this is why people make bucket lists with many items on them. So that their failures are less obvious.

_________________________
I feel a little bad that I still haven’t written (wrotten?) about our spring break family car trip to North Carolina and back. In my defense, though, I am still recovering from it and my team of mental health professionals has recommended that I take things slowly and practice my breathing exercises. Nevertheless, under their careful supervision, I was able to eke something out about our trip to Monticello.

One year ago ...

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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

suburbancorrespondent
Twitter:
May 10, 2010 at 12:26 am

I know! I’m still processing our way-too-long pilgrimage up to Maine last summer, trapped in a minivan with six kids (including one very unhappy 16-year-old girl) and no DVD player. Large parts of it I have simply blanked out on, but that may have been caused by the electric shock therapy I required afterwards.

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alonewithcats
Twitter:
May 10, 2010 at 1:02 am

So, the choice was between not procuring more cap washers and immortality?

And you chose not procuring?

REALLY?!?!

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Marinka May 10, 2010 at 8:32 am

I totally get your confusion. See, you live with cats. I live with someone who wants to get more cap washers.

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Sophie, Inzaburbs May 10, 2010 at 8:27 am

Husbandrinka has to have received this as one of those novelty “For the Man Who Has Everything…” gifts.
Do they make them for other things? Shoes? Underwear? Cellphones with annoying ringtones?

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Marinka May 10, 2010 at 8:07 pm

That is a totally reasonable assumption; but sadly, he bought it himself. In his defense, he’s a guy.

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Awesome dude May 10, 2010 at 8:53 am

I may give a refuge to a couple of cap washers.

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Sophie May 10, 2010 at 9:04 am

Since when are men in charge of the laundry?
I just throw the caps in with the regular wash. That’s clothes wash, not dishes.
Got complaints? No Prob! I can simply throw away the caps!

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alexandra
Twitter:
May 10, 2010 at 9:09 am

Still laughing over here! “…not a diaphragm but does have magical contraceptive powers.”

Oh my G–that is hysterical…oh, I can’t stop laughing from that one line….

P.S. I wonder how many OCD people will immediately jump down to “leave a comment” before reading your entire post to tell you that” TOOKEN is not a word!!!” and then go back to finish reading and then have to leave a second comment saying,”ooops…never mind.” (so glad I took my meds early today.)

This was fantastic. Thank you.

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tracey May 10, 2010 at 9:26 am

I have a secret: move things slowly to the garbage. “Misplace” the hat washer for a while. Then misplace it into a trash bag after he hasn’t asked about it. Then misplace that garbage bag into the dumpster.

Works for me.

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Marinka May 10, 2010 at 8:09 pm

I would, but unfortunately I was cursed with an honest and pure character. I simply cannot trick or mislead people. It’s a curse, I tell you.

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MRsk May 10, 2010 at 9:47 am

i’m freaking out that you said past participle…what are you? a teacher? 🙂

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rima
Twitter:
May 10, 2010 at 9:50 am

The answer is real estate. A lot of my husband’s stuff got “lost in the move” when bought a new house last year.

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reiven May 10, 2010 at 9:58 am

I think that cap washer is very unsanitary. I mean, gross! He wants to wash his dirty hat where you put the dishes that the family will eat off of? It’s like washing your dishes with dirty socks… obviously he hasn’t thought this one through.

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MommyTime
Twitter:
May 10, 2010 at 3:35 pm

This post has now provided yet another answer to the perennial favorite children’s joke: “What’s grosser than gross?” Okay, I haven’t figured out the punch line exactly, but certainly there is something very gross about washing a sweaty hat with the dishes.

Presumably, this is your point.

So probably this comment is redundantly redundant. (But at least I’m agreeing with you, right?)

Also do NOT google “grosser than gross” jokes unless you want to read really disgusting adolescent humor.

I’m going to stop this epic comment now before I figure out how to write the War and Peace of pointless comments.

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reiven May 10, 2010 at 4:16 pm

exactly! and I love being agreed with, almost as much as I love Marinka! ♥ (but not in a stalkerish way!)

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Issa
Twitter:
May 10, 2010 at 5:56 pm

Do they make rainbows in NYC? I thought everything had to be black or white there.

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Heather, Queen of Shake Shake May 10, 2010 at 6:30 pm

I knew exactly what that contraption was.

Thank you for this informing post, I believe I have discovered the reason I don’t have sex more often.

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K-Line May 10, 2010 at 7:35 pm

OMG, I haven’t even read this post yet but I have to tell you that my TEN year old uses the past tense TOOKEN also. Egad!

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Marinka May 10, 2010 at 8:45 pm

Hey, maybe it’s developmentally appropriate and just further proof that we’re fantastic mothers!

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Abbey May 10, 2010 at 9:37 pm

I have a brilliant idea. What if, by accident, said cap washer was to get to0 close to the heating elements in the washer and was to melt? (And, by heating element in the washer I mean something more like an open fire and then tossing it in the washer and looking suprised). He agreed not to buy more, you agreed not to throw it away. No one said anything about making it useless plastic. Just sayin.

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Marinka May 11, 2010 at 9:48 pm

Wait a minute! You weren’t the one who advised Bill Clinton on the whole “it depends on what your definition of ‘is’ is”, are you?

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dusty earth mother May 10, 2010 at 9:55 pm

the cap washer made me chortle out loud. soooo glad my husband doesn’t know about this nifty little item or I’d have twenty of them taking up valuable space. But it does remind me of a nasty hand towel holder that my hub refused to part with, for God knows what reason, since it was broken and the hand towels kept sliding off. why, why, why do men get stuck on these infinitely lame objects??

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Ann's Rants May 10, 2010 at 10:54 pm

Hair grease and kitchen grease are strange bedfellows.

and

GAG.

That is all.

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Anne May 11, 2010 at 10:17 am

When my little sister was young she was fond of adding extra “ing”s to words. Where are you goinging? What are you doinging? SO CUTE. It’s a little sad to see them grow out of bizzare speaking patterns, though I suppose her professors (she is now in grad school) are glad she’s over that phase.

Speaking of SPOUSAL JUNK (not that kind of junk, ew), we have, in our apartment, a tube full of 50 or so three-foot long hot pink straws. Which T has had for nearly ten years. And never used. But for some reason I am not allowed to make them go away. Spousefail.

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Karen at French Skinny May 11, 2010 at 12:20 pm

OMFG I’m laughing so hard I’m crying! What the hell?
You are genius and I love the cap washer birth control!

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anymommy May 11, 2010 at 4:55 pm

“But it does have magic contraceptive properties.” I may never stop laughing. Also, my husband is never allowed to read your blog ever again because he will want one and just the thought of his sweaty cap in my dishwasher makes me throw up in my mouth.

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magpie May 11, 2010 at 7:27 pm

OMG. You own one of those? Are you secretly from Nebraska or something?

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
May 11, 2010 at 8:08 pm

i just throw my husband’s baseball caps into the washing machine and hope for the best. Since he has about 1,876 Phillies’ baseball caps, I’m not too worried if we lose one along the way.

And Ann of Ann Rants makes a good point.

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