Open Door Policy

by Marinka on August 19, 2008

If you are just joining us, here’s the backstory: I am on vacation this week, with my husband, my 14 year old step-son, my 10 year old daughter and my 7 year old son. And a pack of superduper Pokemon cards. And my laptop which takes about 8 hours to dial up on the internet. Yes, I’m vacationing in the mid-1990s. And they are not happy that Madras shorts are around in the future. Seriously, do men who wear Madras shorts have mirrors? Or eyes?

But anyway.

We are on a tiny island (and just like Kelly Ripa, I won’t disclose where I am vacationing until I’m back from vacation, because, you know, the paparazzi are after us both. But unlike Kelly Ripa, I vacation at the same place every summer, so see you in August 2009, stalkarazzis!)

So, every year we rent a different house on the island, mostly because we never get around to renting it until mid-April, when all the houses that we really wanted are already taken. It’s our way of giving back to the community—giving everyone else a chance to pick out the house that they want, and we’ll take whatever is left. And if we have to pay more for the privilege of renting a shitty house, we’ll do it! Because we’re such givers. Socialists, practically.

And every year, we have a conversation with the real estate agent where she reassures us that it is not necessary to lock the front door because it is so safe on the island. Of course I ignore it every year, and travel with my own security detail. Sort of like the Pope. But without a Marinkamobile.

This year, to top all other years, the house doesn’t even have a key, or a hint of a keyhole, and, ready for this? The front door does not even close. As in it stays open all the time. I don’t know whether it’s a structural flaw, the humidity, or the Manson family staging for their reunion. And yet, unlike in previous years, I am not freaked out of my mind. Maybe because I now have the superpowerful Pokemon cards to watch over us. Or maybe because I am too busy getting the beach sand out of my bed.

One year ago ...

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Z August 19, 2008 at 7:09 am

As I’ve said before, I grew up in a no-lock area, so I get that (but have grown used to the locks of NYC)… But a door that doesn’t shut? Now THAT is a new one to me!!!


Melissa August 19, 2008 at 7:58 am

Well, at least you have a sense of humor about the situation.

Have fun!


Amy August 19, 2008 at 11:09 am

Security aside, it sounds like a lot of fun! It’s always nice knowing you’re in a safe place that doesn’t need locks.


h31n0us August 19, 2008 at 11:38 am

It’s a tiny, laid back island. You should have no problems.

but just in case…

A carefully laid spike trap should take alleviate your fears if the Pokemon don’t work out as planned. Just use the back door.


Tracey August 19, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Ok, um, NOWHERE is that safe. At least a “Beware of Dog” sign and a motion-activated barking dog recording would help… And a chair against the door.


wfbdoglover August 19, 2008 at 6:58 pm

I have a hard time understanding the same concept in the racing community. My husband and son go out to the track and they leave the trailer open, car unlocked – laptop, psp, tools — everything open for the taking — yet nothing is ever stolen.

Here, on the other hand at the “compound” my neighbor and I left our cars unlocked – OK, I always left mine unlocked with my handbag inside or the keys in the back door AND my low life 27 year old neighbor robs us.

Anyhow, I guess you just have to go with the community and trust it.

Hope you are having fun. I wish I was as creative as you on the writing. Loved the Marinkamobile.. classic!


binks August 19, 2008 at 8:25 pm

I think you better leave that little island a secret. Just in case the career criminals are reading.


Mama Ginger Tree August 19, 2008 at 8:59 pm

I’d be completely freaked out. By the sand in the bed, not the lack of security. I hate sand.


jen August 20, 2008 at 7:26 pm

um…i would not sleep. at all.
hope to see you back again…soon!


Anonymous August 21, 2008 at 8:33 pm

i just recently seen kelly ripa over in the hamptons a few days ago,im not sue how she is now in some remote island,the only place i can think of that this person is claiming where kelly is its out at nevis thats right kelly is at nevis in st kitts out in the she mustve went to that party a few nights ago,then kelly mustve went to nevis after that


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