Things I Think About When I Can’t Sleep

June 3, 2014

I love Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah but I have to be in just the right mood to listen to it. Sometimes I’m too fragile for it. And I don’t know what kind of secret chord David has although I’m definitely glad the Lord is pleased with it. Oh and you know what’s weird? Why is he […]

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No Comment

May 26, 2014

It took me a while, but finally I realized that the comments section on this blog is broken. At first when I saw zero comments on post after post I thought, “huh, no one is commenting!” and while that would make some bloggers despondent, I just took it to mean that everyone agreed with my […]

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What’s In a Name?

May 20, 2014

Recently I decided to kill both of our cats with my bare hands. Oh, you didn’t know that we had two cats now? Well, of course you know Nicki, the striped goddess that we love and adore. Nicki has been with us forever, ever since that moment when the kids begged and pleaded and promised […]

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Positive Pregnancy Tests for Sale

May 8, 2014

This morning I read an article (if that’s the term we’re using for news stories these days) about how there are positive pregnancy tests for sale online. Please sit with that for a while. Some people will buy other people’s positive pregnancy tests. Not because they have some sort of weird fetish, which maybe I […]

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Back and Blonde

May 4, 2014

I’m back home from Rome and absolutely no one feels sorry for me. I drop hints, trying to elicit sympathy, but my “it’s been days since I’ve had a gelato!” and “the Campari over there is so much better than the bastardization they serve in NYC” proclamations have been met with the kind of indifference […]

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Good at It

April 19, 2014

There are things that I am absolute shit at and that list is not short. I don’t like or care about decorating. I’m happy with college-era furniture. I’m not interested in cleaning and am useless with a vacuum cleaner. Really, we have a very frosty relationship, staying out of each other’s way as much as […]

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Rome!

April 16, 2014

I’m in Rome. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I thought if I did, you’d get all clingy and start dropping hints about how you love Rome/always wanted to go and/or have a Prada purse. So I took the easy way out and snuck out behind your back, without alerting you. And there’s nothing […]

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Better

April 10, 2014

If it’s true that it’s better to be lucky than smart, then I have it made. Because when the trailer for the American Blogger documentary came out earlier this week, I had friends who contacted me to spoof it. And I’m smart enough to jump on it. Enjoy: Thanks to Neil, who always has the […]

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