Phone Fun

by Marinka on December 19, 2013

I called my son yesterday.

“Hello?” he said when he picked up.

“Hi honey, how was your da-”

“Let me interrupt you,” he interrupted me. “Because I am not here right now, so leave a message.”

“Cut it out,” I said.

And then I heard the beep.

Because that was his outgoing voicemail message.

“OMFG,” I said, but after I hung up, because I don’t need to leave THAT voicemail for him.

“You won’t believe my kid’s voicemail message,” I told my colleague and before she had a chance to dash out, I said, “here let me show you!”

And I re-dialed his number.

“What?” he picked up the phone.

“Don’t pick up,” I said. “I want to play your outgoing message for someone.”

“I’m going to pick up every time,” he said. Twelve is a fun, cooperative age.

“Just don’t,” I said. “Come on.” You give them life and then they repay you with this nonsense.

“I will,” he insisted. “You will never hear my message again.”

“Grr,” I said.

“I got to go,” he said.

I sat at my desk, despondent.

My colleague, seeing me in the depths of depression, came to the rescue. I mean, obviously she was really motivated by wanting to hear this message.

“You can use Slydial to go directly to voicemail,” she told me.

“Slydial?” I cocked my head adorably to the side.

“Yeah,” she Googled it and suddenly I had all the answers.

You dial this number, listen to some pre-recorded crap and hailing Satan or something and then dial the number you are calling. And I did. And was magically transported to voicemail.

Obviously I left a loving message which may or may not have included terms like “in your face!” and “ha!” and “your voicemail is my beeyotch!” Or at least two of the three.

“How did you do that?” he eventually asked me.

“Mother’s magic,” I replied, smiling wisely, even though he couldn’t see me over the phone.

“Whatever,” he said, obviously intrigued.

But this program is life-changing. Basically it means that I never have to talk to anyone on the phone ever again. And this holiday season, isn’t that the most important thing?

Slydial: Because why talk when you can leave a message.

This is not a sponsored post. But totally should be.

0saves
If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

annie December 19, 2013 at 9:48 am

I love you all over again for the Slydial tip and yay for Mother’s Magic! You should trademark that.

   0 likes

Reply

anna whiston-donaldson December 19, 2013 at 10:19 am

You may have just changed my life.

   0 likes

Reply

GrandeMocha
Twitter:
December 19, 2013 at 10:38 am

Thanks for sharing Slydial! Best present Ever.

   0 likes

Reply

Susan Weinstein December 19, 2013 at 10:52 am

Love Slydial idea, does it give you access to all your son’s phone conversations? Now I would like that. He won’t even let me be a friend on Facebook, though luckily, I now some others who are. “You want to control every aspect of my life!” he yells plaintively.
Maybe he has something there?

   0 likes

Reply

Wendi December 19, 2013 at 12:23 pm

I just left you a voicemail.

   1 likes

Reply

christy December 20, 2013 at 6:57 am

I LOVE IT!

   0 likes

Reply

Mary Nutterfield December 20, 2013 at 9:41 am

You made me laugh out loud. Loved it.

   0 likes

Reply

Gdot December 20, 2013 at 10:32 am

I llove voicemail. I mean who really wants to talk to anyone?

   0 likes

Reply

barbara sigelbaum
Twitter:
December 20, 2013 at 10:42 am

It’s the gift that keeps giving…a misanthropes delight. Bah.

   0 likes

Reply

anymommy December 21, 2013 at 8:20 pm

This is the best not sponsored post ever. How did I not know?! I hate talking on the phone and always pray to get voicemail. Slydial. Of course there is.

   0 likes

Reply

Creed Anthony December 21, 2013 at 11:29 pm

This is hilarious. Something my mother would have done had the technology been available when I was 12.

   0 likes

Reply

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes December 22, 2013 at 9:24 am

My life just got a lot more fun!

   0 likes

Reply

Mama bird diaries
Twitter:
December 22, 2013 at 6:00 pm

Wow. Congrats on out teching one of the youngsters! But you know no one listens to voicemails anymore, right?

   0 likes

Reply

Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac
Twitter:
December 26, 2013 at 3:32 pm

Brilliant!

   0 likes

Reply

Lil
Twitter:
January 5, 2014 at 2:33 am

Don’t know why this blog post sat unread in my in box for so long… It’s Marinka, for god’s sake! Anyway, well worth the wait. Your son; my mom, equal “Grrr” factor. *sigh*

   0 likes

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: