So Much Love

by Marinka on August 22, 2011

“Can we come in? Daddy and I want to talk to you.”

“Whatever.”

“It’s about the way you behaved when we were playing tennis this morning.”

“How I behaved?”

“Yes. We were all just having fun, rallying the ball back and forth and you insisted that we play a match.”

“Because I like to play a game. That’s the purpose of tennis.”

“We are on vacation, we were just having fun.”

“Look, I take tennis seriously. It’s important to me.”

“And then when we finally agreed to play a game like you wanted and you were losing-”

“I was not losing.”

“And you were not winning, you started to trash talk.”

“I didn’t think you could hear me.”

“That’s really not an excuse. It’s poor sportsmanship.”

“It’s just that I know that I’m a better tennis player than the rest of you, there’s really no reason for me not to win.”

“And then when I fell and twisted my ankle, I heard you mutter, I’ve seen THIS tactic before.

“It looked really fake the way you were laying there.”

“It wasn’t. I was hurt.”

“Well, I know that NOW. Thanks for making me feel bad.”

“You have to realize that it’s just a game.”

“It’s not just a game. It’s TENNIS. I am a good tennis player. A really good tennis player.”

“But you’re playing with your family. People who love you. You need to enjoy it and have some fun.”

“Doesn’t that make sense?”

“Okay, I’m going to go now, but Daddy’s going to stay because he still wants to talk to you.”

“Fine.”

“She’s right, you know. And when you finally won a point, was it really necessary to scream I’m coming from behind like an Oz extra?

“The kids thought I was talking about the Wizard of Oz.”

“No they didn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because no one in The Wizard of Oz comes from behind. It doesn’t make sense.”

“So? They’ll just think that it’s one of those things that their parents say that make no sense.”

“Please try to get less upset when you lose-”

“I didn’t lose.”

“Please try to get less upset when you don’t win, Marinka. It’s not fun to play with you.”

Can you believe what I have to put up with?

(And my daughter’s ankle is fine. Faker.)

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

hokgardner
Twitter:
August 22, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Sounds like my mom and every board game we’ve ever tried to play with her. The board usually gets flipped onto the floor.

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MFA Mama
Twitter:
August 22, 2011 at 1:15 pm

COMING. FROM. BEHIND. LIKE. AN. EXTRA. FROM…oh my gawd I love you!

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Olga
Twitter:
August 22, 2011 at 9:17 pm

I feel I’m missing out on something major here. Is it about Dr Oz?

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Nichole
Twitter:
August 22, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Yikes….that’s so ME! I once got into a fist fight with my brother because he wouldn’t clean up after a game of scrabble (loser ALWAYS cleans up). Hockey sticks were involved. I was 13.

Hmmm. Perhaps I should’ve gone to therapy?

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Heather
Twitter:
August 22, 2011 at 1:39 pm

It’s like I’m reading my own future. My daughter is four, and I’m contemplating buying her a tennis racket, but I know it will only lead to me being mean to her.

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Alyssa
Twitter:
August 22, 2011 at 2:06 pm

This post is just brilliant. Love it. Thanks for the Monday morning laugh.

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eevie August 22, 2011 at 2:24 pm

you and my son should play games together. He’s only five, but he’s brutal at Monopoly, Jr. and his gameplay tactics alternate between screaming, “IN YOUR FACE!!” each time he passes Go and collects $2 and screaming “I’VE GOT A ONOPOLY!!!!! MANA-OPOLY! WHATEVER!!!”

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Sophie@Fabrications August 22, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Amazing. First smile on my sour face all week long.

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Penbleth
Twitter:
August 22, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Heh. Of course I never lose my rag or throw a hissy, never. OK, sometimes but like you it is always justified.

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Kristen
Twitter:
August 22, 2011 at 4:43 pm

“Coming from behind like an Oz extra” is the most spectacular thing I’ve ever heard. Thank you.

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Anna Nonamus August 22, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Kids… they’re no fun to play a game against, cause either you kick their ass and feel ashamed yet proud, or they win, and brag about it.

There is no winning against kids.

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ndk August 22, 2011 at 5:05 pm

This was great! Reminded me a bit of myself. Only I don’t have kids to beat at sports. I should have thought about that. It’s not too late to adopt. ;)

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Tracie
Twitter:
August 22, 2011 at 5:41 pm

This is why I don’t often play games with my family. They just don’t understand the insatiable need to win.

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absence of Alternatives
Twitter:
August 23, 2011 at 9:21 am

I am going to steal that line about Oz, esp. because it’s one of the very few TV shows that I actually watched from beginning to end!

By the way, I never play games with my kids. Never. My secret is therefore safe with me.

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Alexandra
Twitter:
August 23, 2011 at 10:15 am

If you could win again for community keynote, it’d be for this post.

I spurted out loud in laughter…which is something I love.

Thank you, Marinka…you played this like a superstar.

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Andrea August 23, 2011 at 11:10 am

I love librrra’s comment…’is it about Dr. Oz?’ hahahahah
I’ll never forget the Spooning episode. That was very nearly as traumatic as the basement part of Pulp Fiction. Oy.

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Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him
Twitter:
August 24, 2011 at 10:12 am

I’ve never watched Oz, but now I sorta want to.

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