The Hello

by Marinka on September 12, 2012

The hello, dear reader, to you. This is day very special because my daughter of teen years has to undertaking a test at her new school.

I will explanation provide to you.

My daughter class in was and the mister come and say “come see me outside of class, please” and she say to the mister “yes, I will” and then when they the step the outside of interior of klassroom, man say “what language do you speak at home?”

And my child she say “English” and he say “Board of Ed form say other language spoken at home.”

I interfere story to ask what language is spoken at home and she the shrug.

Then no one body say anything because what else is to say? But then he say more. He say “where were you born?” And she say “here” and he look to classroom with face of confusion and she say “not in the school, in NYC” so then again no one say anything because one more time what is there to say.

Then the mister say “the easiest way to correct this Board of Ed record is to have you take an English proficiency exam to prove that English is your native language because otherwise you have to take ESL classes.”

Daughter agreement with mister. Daughter will examinate. I wish the good luck to a daughter. You may enjoy updatement via this blog in here.

One year ago ...

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{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }

Sherry Carr-Smith
September 12, 2012 at 5:26 pm

No wonder you have such an exotic name? Or something.


September 12, 2012 at 5:30 pm



Laurie September 12, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Oh for crying out loud. They can’t change a little paperwork? They have to go to the expense of a test? Or does that mean the principle doesn’t believe her? Besides, they need a new definition of “proficient in English” because I see a lot of crap written by people with spelling and grammar that makes my head explode. Being born in the States does not automatically equate proficiency.


Bonnie B. September 12, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Too bad she didn’t know enough Klingon to REALLY confuse him….


September 12, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Oh good lord. Seriously? If she spoke English to him when she answered his questions, you’d think that was enough.


September 12, 2012 at 7:46 pm

I say let her take the ESL classes. Her GPA will skyrocket!


September 12, 2012 at 8:22 pm

The EASIEST way? For whom?


pinklea September 12, 2012 at 8:56 pm

I’m a teacher, and one of my September jobs is to check new students’ files to see if any of them are ESL. There’s a line on our school registration form where parents write in the language spoken at home. If a parent lists English along with any other language, I assume that they do, in fact, speak English and perhaps that other language at home – which means the kid isn’t ESL. I sometimes have a quick chat with the kid to confirm. I haven’t been wrong yet. I guess this simple and effective method isn’t yet in place in NYC.


September 12, 2012 at 9:25 pm

I’m blaming you for letting her read the Twilight saga when she was only 12. Clearly it has warped her language skills.


magpie September 12, 2012 at 9:48 pm

the fuck?


Stacie M. September 12, 2012 at 10:58 pm

I’m seriously laughing at Bonnie’s and Nelly’s comments.

The situation is bizarre.


Roshni September 13, 2012 at 12:57 am

It took until High School to come to this?! You know, we Indians do take an English test before we’re allowed to man those phone lines…you should ask her to contact Dish Network for a few lessons! 😛


Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes September 13, 2012 at 7:28 am



September 13, 2012 at 7:41 am

Updatement. Using that in every sentence today. But can you translate that into Spanish for me?


Hope September 13, 2012 at 7:57 am

Just wanted to say that all of these comments are hilarious! I was going to reply to the first one, but then I read the next one and wanted to reply to that, but then I read the next one and, well, you get the picture.


Athena September 13, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Me too! haha!


Alexandra September 13, 2012 at 8:41 am

Oh my god you’re killing me.

You made me laugh out loud. And I had been crying this morning: I have trouble (ha! that’s putting it mildly) I have trouble when my kids go back to school, and September always feels like 100 pounds on my soul.

But you made me laugh today.

For over three years, Marinka, you’re better than a glass of zinfandel at 9 a.m.

So much better.

I love you.

:and she say “here” and he look to “classroom”:



September 13, 2012 at 9:02 am

Now’s your chance to tell them about a financial opportunity with an African Prince!


September 13, 2012 at 9:05 am

Talent this took to write. It did. Job good by you.


dusty earth mother September 13, 2012 at 9:32 am

Instead we to Russia send you back. Offense intended not.


September 13, 2012 at 9:49 am

Make sure she wear her yellow star.


Lisa Rae @ smacksy September 13, 2012 at 11:52 am



headspot September 14, 2012 at 2:02 pm

OMG too…


One Funny Motha September 13, 2012 at 10:03 am

Good Lord.


deb September 13, 2012 at 10:12 am

dying, this is so funny.

this also happened to a friend of mine here in VA. They’re bilingual, kids born in U.S. I think the problem is that bilingual is a concept far too complicated for American public schools. If you speak another language, then we assume you must be really bad at english.


Kat September 13, 2012 at 10:22 am

Their ESL program must be really struggling if they’re trying to pull English speaking kids from regular classes to fill them.


Mexmom September 13, 2012 at 11:27 am

And of course she skipped all other grades to get to High School without anyone noticing she needed ESL classes…
This is hilarious!


Lisa Rae @ smacksy September 13, 2012 at 11:53 am

I the loving you.


September 13, 2012 at 7:42 pm

PLEASE please tell me the test will be on September 19. Then she can go in and tell them that the form is wrong, and her first language is actually pirate.

Also, I am send you heavy loving for all the big laughing this blog makes me having tonight.


the mama bird diaries
September 13, 2012 at 8:55 pm

On the upside, she would really ace an ESL course.


Lady Jennie September 14, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I thought I was about to watch a Seinfeld episode when I saw the title.

This would have made a good Seinfeld episode.


Jenn @ Juggling Life September 14, 2012 at 7:16 pm

This is the kind of bureaucratic bullshit that I can and will go to the mat on. You should have seen the email and subsequent phone conversation when my honor student son, who also happened to have an IEP, was given a “career counseling” test for special ed students.


Jonathan September 15, 2012 at 2:10 pm

LOL it reminded me of Seinfeld also with the title and the content and the humor. I would not be able to stop laughing except for the fact that the mister is a Grade A moron. I would think ESL would be provided as needed, not to people who speak perfect English and were born and have always lived in America.


Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac
September 15, 2012 at 10:54 pm

This is the kind of post where I need a “like” button for the comments. So funny.

Looking forward to enjoying your updatements.


Mama D September 28, 2012 at 10:15 pm

This made me laugh so hard!! Reminded me of an incident in my own past. I’m the daughter of two Americans, born in America, but raised overseas (Dad was an expat businessman.) When I applied for college, the one I eventually chose told me that I had to take the TOEFL (test of English as a foreign language) because I was applying from our then-home in Asia. Interestingly, they were informing me of this by phone, while listening to me speak with them in fluent and unaccented American English. I finally told them that I would be happy to take their damn test if they insisted, but that as a native speaker, I fully expected to ace it. They never mentioned it again!


Ester Jean October 4, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Marinka, all winter I was pregnant and you kept me up late, and now I have an infant and you keep me up late reading, AND I wake the baby with the laughing.


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