The Process

by Marinka on October 4, 2012


You sound like idiot, sitting there laughing by yourself.

Ok, Mama, I’m not sitting here laughing by myself. I’m sitting here with my laptop writing my memoir and I just re-read a very funny part.

Memoir. What do you have to memoir about? Memoir is for retired war general, not for someone like you.

I’m not writing a war memoir, I’m writing a funny memoir about my childhood.

Don’t write any funny story about me. It will be lie.

How am I supposed to write a memoir about my childhood and not write about you?

I agree, it will be challenge.

Maybe I’ll have you die in childbirth. Or papa will murder you when I am very young.

Papa murder me? I’d like to see him try.

Or there can be a battle that you two have while I’m sleeping in my crib. I can have some suppressed memories about it. And then the trauma of learning that papa murdered you. Flashbacks.  Although that’s going to take me in the direction of tragi-comic and not strictly humorous.  Ah well, slice of life! And maybe Slice o’ Mama if papa used a chainsaw, hahaha.

You are just like that drug addict who lied to Oprah.

OMG, do you really think so? His book was a bestseller!

I don’t want to be in your book. I forbid you to write it.

No problemo, mamacita! What do you think of Motherless Russia as the title?

* * *

As you can see, the writing process is going well. I’ve pre-awarded myself a few Pulitzers and some other awards that I’m much too modest to mention, so now it’s just the details of getting it written!

Thank you for reading my blog and for your support. I can’t wait to say “I couldn’t have done it without you” or possibly “it’s your fault that my book didn’t get written/picked up by an agent/published/bought.”

Because I can turn on you in a minute.

And I will.


One year ago ...

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

October 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Can’t wait to read it.


October 4, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Please come to Minnesota on your memoir tour. And bring Mama.


JK October 4, 2012 at 2:24 pm

It’s all part of the wonder that is you! Can’t wait to read it!


Awesome dude October 4, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I do not think that now is a good time to engage Mama to help you with the memoirs…….

Please re read ” The memoirs of my little whores” G. Garcia Marques. Good reading.

My laptop revived itself.


Deb October 4, 2012 at 5:44 pm



Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes October 5, 2012 at 6:03 am

Flashbacks… I like that idea.


Alexandra October 5, 2012 at 8:45 am

You know what?

Do you know funny this book will be if it made you laugh?


You know that already, but it will be KILLER.

I’m telling you, I”m pre-awarding you some prizes right now, too.

This will BE BIG.

Yes, like that drug addict liar big.

CanNOT wait.
Hurry up and apply your butt to that chair.

And don’t get up until you’re finished.


Carinn @welcometothemotherhood
October 5, 2012 at 1:35 pm

There is so much I love about this post – you are just hysterical. Not that I need to tell you, you seem to know how funny you are. I love to think about you laughing out loud about your own story. It makes you so incredibly endearing. And of course, I love mama, so I am sad to hear she won’t be in the book. (Papa murder me? I’d like to see him try.) Maybe you can give her a fake name, like baba.


October 7, 2012 at 12:45 am

It’s gonna be great!

Or will it?

I can turn on you, too!

(But I won’t.)


Korinthia Klein October 7, 2012 at 10:10 pm

I think this post counts as procrastinating, but I’m not going to complain because until your book actually comes out, this is where we get to read you!


joeinvegas October 8, 2012 at 11:33 am

We wouldn’t be here reading without you.


Citytwinschicago October 8, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Please bring Mama on your book tour (and come to Chicago).


Lady Jennie October 8, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Hey – you already wrote a book about a cat. It’s a small jump from there to Russia.


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