Toothbrush

by Marinka on July 12, 2013

One evening last week after I returned home from work, Mama told me that she threw out my toothbrush.

She said it in a very casual manner, the way you might tell someone that they are out of cumin and may want to pick some up the next time they are at the market. You can get away with that where spices are concerned, but toothbrushes are a different story. Especially outside of Appalachia.

“Why would you do that?” I asked. I was annoyed because now instead of devoting myself to an evening of Bible Study, I’d have to go out to buy a new toothbrush. And frankly, at the end of a long three-day week, I had no energy for all the sales pitches that the toothbrush man would be hauling my way.

“A toothbrush,” I would say. “With bristles!” And because I’m a lady toothbrusher, he’d try to unload all the bells and whistles on me. I was exhausted just thinking about it.

“Because it looked old,” Mama said, smoothing out the wrinkles on her forehead.

“So?”

“So brushing with old toothbrush is worse than not brushing at all.”

“I don’t know-” I started.

“Well, I do,: she told me with finality, “that’s why I threw it out.”

I knew that I should just let it go because I’m 0 for 8,765,988 where disputes with Mama are concerned, but I was starting to think that my luck was going to turn.

“I just think it would be better if you didn’t throw out things that belong to me,” I tried gently.

Mama sighed.

“Fine,” she conceded. “I just didn’t think you’d want the toothbrush after I used it to clean a corner of the litter box. But next time I’ll leave it.”

And that’s why I am now spearheading the Take Your Toothbrush to Work and Never Leave It Out of Your Sight Campaign.

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Peajaye
Twitter:
July 12, 2013 at 9:46 am

But wait, isn’t Mama a dentist? It would have killed her to bring you one of those freebie toothbrushes from her office?

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joeinvegas July 12, 2013 at 10:05 am

Next time your toothbrush smells funky . . .

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Susan Weinstein July 12, 2013 at 10:24 am

She’s a very good mother. Another mother, such as myself, might not even pay attention to a detrimental toothbrush. And you can probably order it online and have Duane Reed deliver.

SW

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suburbancorrespondent
Twitter:
July 12, 2013 at 3:16 pm

Mama won that round, that’s for sure!

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C Smith July 12, 2013 at 5:43 pm

Well, I would forgive her just because she cleaned the litter box, which I’m assuming saved you from having to do it. But, I hate when people touch my things, especially in the bathroom. I nearly left my husband because he would not stop using my lotion. I’m not even joking.

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Awesome dude July 13, 2013 at 10:40 am

Dentists do not get the toothbrushes for free. They pay good money for them.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
July 15, 2013 at 11:38 pm

i have 400 unopened toothbrushes from the dentist. I will send you one. And even better, I don’t have a cat.

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anymommy July 17, 2013 at 10:41 pm

I will donate to that campaign. I am horrified. How can you trust mamma in your apartment again? We may need a lock box in this situation.

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