When in Rome, Do Like Roman

by Marinka on October 1, 2009

Last night I had dinner with my fellow Mouthy Housewives, Kelcey and Jessica and as usual, whenever we get together, the conversation turned to sodomy.

Specifically, what the fuck are some members of Hollywood doing in signing this petition to free Roman Polanski. In case you haven’t been following along, Roman Polanski raped and sodomized a 13 year old like 30 years ago and then pled guilty and then fled. Because living in France is better than being in prison.

He hasn’t been to the United States since then, either because he didn’t want to be prosecuted or because the flights are outrageously expensive. I’m not sure. But over the weekend, he was arrested in Switzerland. Probably while eating a Toblerone. Harvey Weinstein, Woody Allen, Whoopi Goldberg, Debra Winger, Natalie Portman and others are outraged and are signing a petition, as though he were some sort of a seal that needed saving.

In the case of Woody Allen, I get it. I mean, he had a sexual relationship with his stepdaughter, to the extend that you can have a “sexual relationship” with a minor and not be indicted. And now they’re married. Every Valentine’s Day, I comb the incestuous romance section of Hallmark, but have yet to come up with an appropriate card. But anyway. Woody Allen, got it.

Harvey Weinstein? Ok. He’s got his own Torch Song Trilogy going there. What? Oh, not Harvey Fierstein? Seriously, am I the only one who gets them confused?

Whoopi Goldberg with her “not rape RAPE.” Yes, Whoopi, that makes sense. It was rape light, or fun rape. Because Roman didn’t jump out of the bushes before he raped her and because he is Caucasian that makes it all better.

I know the reasons for not prosecuting him–he’s old, the case is old, there are worse crimes out there, he’s super talented. I’m pretty sure that’s an affirmative defense.

I’m not persuaded. Over the last decade, whenever an elderly Nazi had been captured, living some place bucolic and stealing oxygen from farm animals, there were always some who went along with the “oh, but he’s old and feeble and has cancer and skin tags”. I never understood that. Because I thought that a trial and prison would let them relive their youth. Be invigorating, even.

Hopefully Roman will get the same opportunity. Don’t think of it as a prosecution, Roman. I mean it’s not going to be a prosecution prosecution. For one, I bet you don’t even have a white Bronco.

One year ago ...

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