#YourBlogIsAnnoying

by Marinka on February 5, 2011

Do you ever wonder if your blog is annoying?

Well, now that I’ve asked, are you wondering if your blog is annoying?

Do you worry that everyone is emailing each other, or DM’ing each other on Twitter, complaining about your annoying blog?

No?

Great!

Run off now, shoo! shoo!

But if you’re a normal blogger, without psychotic illusions of grandeur, you are plagued with self-doubt. Is my blog good enough? Does it appeal to my reader? WHY ISN’T ANYONE READING ME? How can I improve? Those are just some of the thoughts that are haunting you.

Well, now, for the first time ever, I am offering a revolutionary new service. I will read your blog and tell you what’s annoying about it. Maybe it’s your header? Your font perhaps? Who knows! The possibilities are endless!

When I announced this new service on Twitter on Saturday afternoon, the response was overwhelming. By which I mean that I had two takers! Yay! I’m practically Marinka Ioacocca. (Hey, how’s he doing, by the way? We seem to have drifted apart! OMG, I just Wikipedia’d him and he’s still alive! But now if he dies, I’ll be really flipped out. Hang in there, Lee!)

My first customer was @MarketingMama. Under my loving guidance, she learned what was annoying about her blog and she’s never been happier!

Now because this venture is still in its infancy, I am able to offer this service to you at bargain basement/Crazy Eddie prices! (Hmm…I wonder how that guy is doing?)
Check out this affordable price list!

Friends & Family $10
Strange Bloggers $15
Daddy Bloggers $20
Product Blogs $100
Blogs that include music: Free. (Spoiler alert: The music is fucking annoying and everyone hates it.)

So sign up!

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

Also, makes a great gift for a friend’s blogaversity! And what wife wouldn’t want to receive this for Valentine’s Day! (Trust me, women don’t really like flowers and chocolate)

Stop wondering what people are saying about your blog behind its back. Hear it from me!

One year ago ...

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Tweets that mention #YourBlogIsAnnoying -- Topsy.com
February 5, 2011 at 6:04 pm

{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }

BHJ February 5, 2011 at 5:45 pm

I’ve been losing lots of subscribers. So now I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder: Is my blog annoying?

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Marinka February 5, 2011 at 5:58 pm

You’ve taken the first step towards getting that question answered. The first important step.

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Selfish Mom
Twitter:
February 5, 2011 at 5:46 pm

This is awesome. Although your price structure is a little troubling. It seems to assume that none of your friends or family are strange.

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Marinka February 5, 2011 at 5:58 pm

That comment is really annoying. You owe me $2

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Stefanie February 5, 2011 at 5:48 pm

I’m one step ahead of you. I KNOW my blog is annoying.

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Marinka February 5, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Yes, but do you know why? Come on, list the top 10 reasons, quick!

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Backpacking Dad February 5, 2011 at 8:31 pm

Stefanie once offered a similar service with respect to one’s writing.

I paid her $1 and I think she called me needy. So, that was worth it. I hope yours is too.

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Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]
Twitter:
February 5, 2011 at 5:55 pm

When do we get to critique yours?

BOOYAH.

Also, neener.

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Marinka February 5, 2011 at 5:59 pm

That’s a lot more expensive. Really unaffordable in this economy.

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deborah l quinn
Twitter:
February 5, 2011 at 5:56 pm

OMG (an annoying phrase) you have seriously & totally been reading my mind. Welcome to the blogsphere (an annoying phrase) where now all the thoughts that plagued you in the lunch room in high school can float through the ether into your brain: they hate me. they’re talking about me. no one likes my outfit. no one likes my shoes. they think i smell.
At least body odor isn’t a blogging problem. Or rather, it’s a personal problem that cannot (usually) be detected in cyber space.

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Marinka February 5, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Unfortunately the only way to stop being plagued by this horrendous self-doubt is to subscribe to my service. Isn’t your peace of mind worth it?

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Keyona
Twitter:
February 5, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Do we get a discount if we haven’t blogged in over a week? Maybe that’s what’s annoying. Please do tell.

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ShallowGal February 7, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Over a week? I just blogged for the first time in 4 months! In my defense though, you just had a baby.

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awesome dude February 5, 2011 at 6:07 pm

The young patients become older and older and your postings are becoming longer and longer.

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Halala Mama
Twitter:
February 5, 2011 at 6:15 pm

I’m so glad I don’t have a “ProductBog” I couldn’t afford that price. 😉

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Marinka February 5, 2011 at 6:17 pm

You know, it’s really hard to drink and blog at the same time.

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MommyTime
Twitter:
February 5, 2011 at 6:23 pm

You could also offer a #AreYouAnnoying service; I will be the first subscriber to whom you can answer YES! because I would like a blog critique for free. Free because I think I count as “friends and family” since I’ve met you in person, and really, isn’t the fact that I have the chutzpah to ask worth at least $10 to you? Really, it’s like a gift to you that I’m trusting you with all my insecurities at this vulnerable time in my life. In fact, now that I think of it, I think it would be best if you paid me a few $$ for the privilege of critiquing what is surely an annoying blog and one that you will get much mileage out of scorning in detail.

You’re welcome.

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GrandeMocha
Twitter:
February 6, 2011 at 8:03 am

I want to work on this venture. We could be the mean girls at the in table at lunch!

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Neil
Twitter:
February 5, 2011 at 6:25 pm

My blog used to be good. Now it is just annoying as hell. What went wrong? Can your service help me? I’m desperate!

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Kirsten February 5, 2011 at 7:10 pm

I was going to put music on my blog. Thank you so much for saving me from making that terrible mistake.

How much do I owe you??

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homschlr4ever
Twitter:
February 5, 2011 at 8:31 pm

What I wouldn’t give for a critique but alas my teenager took my last ten dollars to go to the movies with her musician boyfriend because musicians make no money, they’re just really cute. And personally, at my age, I don’t care if I annoy people. I’ve been annoyed by enough of the them so they should be paying me.

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Backpacking Dad February 5, 2011 at 8:34 pm

I’m pretty sure the annoying part of every daddy blog is that they think they aren’t mommy blogs.

If blogs could think, which they can’t. That was a weird sentence.

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hokgardner
Twitter:
February 5, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Since I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you in person, do I fall into the “friends” category? Because, otherwise, I’m not sure I can afford you.

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alexandra
Twitter:
February 5, 2011 at 9:21 pm

Oh, if only this were true! I say sell badges that say “Marinka approved” and that’s where you’d make the REAL dough.

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GrandeMocha
Twitter:
February 6, 2011 at 8:04 am

Another great idea!

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christy February 5, 2011 at 10:30 pm

Oh I like that idea – Marinka’s Stamp of Approval! You’d have to be crazy not to pay for that sucker in your sidebar!

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Elena
Twitter:
February 5, 2011 at 11:44 pm

I agree – I would so pay $$ for a “Marinka approved” badge on my blog. Now what about music & a 3 minute flash animation intro? Is that annoying? How much does a response to this comment cost? 😉

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subWOW
Twitter:
February 5, 2011 at 11:48 pm

How about our tweets? Would you soon start a new service certifying people’s tweet streams?

Don’t have to tell me: I know my Twitter name is annoying…

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JustMom420zaks
Twitter:
February 6, 2011 at 12:04 am

I think there’s too much to critique on my blog… I’d have to pay double.

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MFA Mama
Twitter:
February 6, 2011 at 12:06 am

I was allllmost in on it when you said you’d give me the friends and family rate in exchange for adopting you, because I don’t *have* any Russian children, but then I remembered that the return policy on adopted Russian children is rather unforgiving and also that my blog is Koala-free, which I think means I’m golden.

Because fuck koalas. Really. Nothing “harmless” needs claws like those.

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Lady Jennie February 6, 2011 at 1:50 am

I’ll have to pay $10 because I’m really a dad blogger in disguise. That photo up top is some random woman I paid to pose for my blog.

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Slow Panic
Twitter:
February 6, 2011 at 2:20 am

you may possibly be the greatest gift to annoying bloggers everywhere. myself definitely included.

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Donna February 6, 2011 at 5:33 am

Thanks a lot, Marinka. I honestly never thought about whether my blog was annoying people. I guess I thought they’d just stop reading if it annoyed them. Now I realize they’re all reading so they can secretly complain about how annoying I am.

Will the Marinka-approved badge come with music? Because if I’m going to annoy people, I might as well do a good job of it.

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Heather February 6, 2011 at 7:27 am

I want to know what’s annoying about my blog! Is it that I still don’t have a new one? That’s it, isn’t it?

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Glamamom
Twitter:
February 6, 2011 at 7:58 am

My sources tell me Crazy Eddie is doing just fine. Despite defrauding investors within his own religious community, when his prison term was up, he was accepted back with open arms. Thanks god he didn’t marry a skiksa. Then it’d be a different story.

Reply

b.a. seagull
Twitter:
February 6, 2011 at 1:05 pm

i sometimes worry that my comment is annoying.

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elizabeth-flourish in progress
Twitter:
February 6, 2011 at 2:40 pm

i want to know, but im scared.

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dusty earth mother February 6, 2011 at 4:56 pm

I’m pretty certain that my blog is annoying, but since I’m already giving you an expensive gift on Monday, I’m hoping you’ll de-annoy mine for free.

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anna see February 6, 2011 at 8:32 pm

I annoy myself already, and I don’t think I could handle hearing how much I annoy others.

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Catherine
Twitter:
February 7, 2011 at 6:26 am

Oh, I know I’m annoying (I mean my *blog* is annoying), but I’m afraid to ask *how* annoying. Luckily, being cheap gives me a great excuse to avoid blog-awareness.

Reply

Alexandria
Twitter:
February 7, 2011 at 3:48 pm

I’ll bite. But my ego is surely to be damaged afterwards.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
February 8, 2011 at 9:52 am

Agree that you need a Marinka approved badge!

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Gigi February 8, 2011 at 5:48 pm

oooooh tell me is mine annoying? on the other hand don’t tell me! lol!

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Fairly Odd Mother
Twitter:
February 14, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Do you have a sample report so I can see how scathing you might be? I’m a delicate flower and my feelings would be crushed if you say “EVERYTHING!” (and I realize my request is annoying . . .not exactly starting out on the right foot).

Reply

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