From the monthly archives:

August 2012

A Discussion with Mama

by Marinka on August 29, 2012

Something very strange happened this morning, Mama tells me when she comes over Sunday afternoon. Do you want to hear?

Do I want to hear? Of course I want to hear! Stories from Mama is why hearing was invented!

Yes, please, I say.

Okay. Papa and I go for walk early this morning. Early walk in park, while lazy people are sleeping.
It’s six in the morning. And we see a guy, very skinny, in a van. And van has cardboard sign in window that says MISSING SENIOR. He parks the van, and he the runs into woods.

What woods? I thought you said you were in the park?

Park and woods are the same thing. Continue to the listen. He runs into the parkwoods and then dashes out. And then drives another few meters and dashes in again and out.


More than the weird. Under suspicion.

Why under suspicion?

Because when Sly (the cat) was missing, I drove around and asked “did you see Sly the cat?” when I saw people. I didn’t put sign in window and do that nonsense.

So what do you think was going on with this guy?

Only one explanation.

Which is?

This guy killed the senior citizen and disposed of body. But not to look like the suspicious, he decide to make it look like he was searching for missing senior. But see? He made him missing by murder.

Mama, this sounds a little nuts. Did you discuss this with Papa?

Of course! It was his idea and it makes a lot of sense to me. He is murderer.


No, not Papa. You always have to make stupid joke. But Papa said that if he is ever missing, we are not to search for him.


Wants to be left alone in peace. Who knows? I told him that I will search for him.

OMG, we should definitely search for Papa! Where is he now?

Now he is buying watermelon. He will bring it soon.



by Marinka on August 27, 2012

I’m in the midst of an obsession that is threatening to take over my life.

I’ll back up and tell you about it so that we can share the psychosis.

So the other day I’m minding my own business, reading a Ruth Rendell mystery, Adam and Eve and Pinch Me (which despite this being an Amazon affiliate link, I do not recommend) when all of a sudden I come upon this sentence:

His almost uncanny success on the racecourse owed more to instinct and serendipity than knowledge of horseflesh.

Let me ask you, do you know what horseflesh is?

Because I didn’t, so I pressed the word on my Kindle and this popped up:

n. horses considered collectively.

Which incidentally is the problem with Kindles. Because if you are reading a paper book and see a word you don’t know, you’re all what the fuck, what is this a vocabulary lesson? Let me just go on to the next word that I DO know! Because that’s the American way.

But since I opened that Pandora’s dictionary box and sweet ignorance wasn’t an option, let me just say: seriously?

Why have I never heard of this? You’d think with all the pride of lions, murder of crows bullshit going around, someone would mention horseflesh.

But no.
It’s like there’s some kind of horseflesh conspiracy of silence. I blame the GOP.

So over the next few days, I asked people if they knew what a group of horses was called. And you know what? No one did. I got “a group of horses” “a bunch of horses” and, bizarrely, “troika.” But no one knew. No one. (Admittedly, I asked like 5 people, but it’s not like people are willing to stop and talk to me, you know. This isn’t my fault.)

And now I can’t stop trying to work horseflesh into conversation.

For example, “Sure, I’d go to the races, but I’m not that fond of horseflesh” and “wild horseflesh couldn’t drag me away.”

I’m determined to work horseflesh into the vernacular.

Hey, we all have our callings.


I Did This

August 26, 2012

I wrote a letter to Bud Selig last week. Before I wrote it, I didn’t know that he had a name. Not Bud, exactly, but the guy who’s in charge of major league baseball. You can read the letter here and then please tell me what you think. I’m a big (ahem) girl, and I […]

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August 23, 2012

I know that this is a humor blog, but sometimes life just isn’t funny. Like when I was on vacation and realized that Husbandrinka was out to kill me. First he went the white water rafting route, then, as my friend Peajaye pointed out, he tried to kill me with boredom by making me tour […]

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Coming Home

August 21, 2012

I’ve been on vacation. In Montana and in Yellowstone.  Which is mostly in Wyoming. We had a lot of fun. There was the white water rafting, and the fly fishing and the eating more meat than I ever knew existed. We also hiked and avoided bears and saw elk and bison and geysers and wonders […]

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12 Things I Learned While White Water Rafting

August 15, 2012

I’m still having an unbelievable helpme fantastic time in Montana! Vacation is so great dearlordgetmeoutofhere and it’s going to be difficult to see it end! Here’s a list of things I learned while white water rafting on Monday! 1. You can’t bring your iPhone into the raft. It’s not because there’s spotty coverage on the […]

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In Montana

August 12, 2012

If you’re reading this, I’m in Montana. Don’t ask me why, sometimes bad things happen to good people. Not that Montana is a bad thing, of course, that’s ridiculous, it’s a beautiful state, but with bears who are out to get me. At first I was keeping what the insane call “an open mind.” Sure, […]

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Texts From Son

August 9, 2012

Young Ladrinka is at the dacha this week, living the life with Mama and Papa, and sending me texts on an as-needed basis. Yesterday, the need was acute:   On the one hand I am super proud that he doesn’t know what a Kardashian is, on the other hand, I voice my disapproval of those […]

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