by Marinka on March 23, 2012
Ok, so this is less Week In Review and more Things That Have Been On My Mind Lately, but as you can see, that is not a very catchy title. But the things that have been on my mind lately are all super important and fascinating especially to people who are new to the English language and are not quite sure of the definition of important and fascinating.
Let’s start!
1. Why are all the Cathys now Kathys? What happened to Catherine that she had to evolve/intelligently design into Katherine?
2. In the palm of your hand. I don’t understand this expression. Why is it good to have something in the palm of your hand? Doesn’t it mean that you’re walking around with a cupped palm so that whatever you have in the palm of your hand doesn’t fall out?
And why am I imagining a baby chick in the palm of your hand?
And then that “eating out of the palm of your hand”– what is that? Why is someone eating that adorable yellow chick out of your hand and why is this something to be desired? If someone is going to be eating out of my hand, I am going to need a pretty substantial hand sanitizer budget.
3. Forks vs. Spoons. Ok, when you eat cake or pie or some other dessert, do you eat it with a fork or a spoon? Because in my experience, Russians pick a spoon and Americans pick a fork. I do not know why that is but I do know that this afternoon when I was confronted with some cake I was very Woe is Me because I couldn’t find a fork and had to eat it with a spoon like a Cossack. In some ways, spoons make more sense, dessert-wise, because it allows for greater surface coverage, but I’m so Americanized now that I need tines for cake.
So, you see, deep thoughts.
Cathy, palms, baby chicks and spoons.
No wonder science is knocking on my door seeking a brain donation.
by Marinka on October 28, 2011
Monday: Wake up. Uh-oh. What’s this? A cold? I HAVE A COLD? WOE IS ME. Oh, wait. I’m not a man. Proceed with day.
Tuesday: Wake up twenty seconds later than usual due to cold. Notice Husbandrinka having breakfast with the kids. Notice that Young Ladrinka is sitting next to a tube of Benadryl Cream.
Turns out that Young Ladrinka is covered with hives.
Take Young Ladrinka to the pediatrician who confirms that Young Ladrinka is covered with hives. Tragically, they are contagious and despite Young Ladrinka’s protestations that he doesn’t want his class mates to “catch the itch” and go through the hell that he’s been going through, he’s Claritined and dispatched to school.
Marinka: still sniffly. See, Monday. Cold.
Wednesday: Wake up. Thank the Good Lord in Heaven that Beautiful Daughter’s High School Applications are not due until December 1st. A whole month to work on them together by the cozy fireplace!
Get email from guidance counselor saying “Where’s the draft application, dumbass, remember they’re due on November 1st not on December 1st, you demented moron” (or words to that effect.)
Start hyperventilating.
Cold: better.
Thursday: Wake up. Coldless. See that Kristine’s son reviewed Wanted:Cat. Automatically place Kristine & Son on Preferred Blogger list and demote everyone whose child has not reviewed Wanted:Cat to a different list. Not necessary worse list. Just different.
Oh yeah, high school applications. Send Beautiful Daughter a text reminder.
Friday: Wake up. What? A Wanted: Cat review and giveaway?! Stasha and her son are now on the Preferred Blogger list and Kristine and her son, well, they’re on a different Preferred Blogger list.
Thank you, ladies for giving birth to such wonderful boys with great taste in literature!
So. How was your week? Did you wake up?