From the monthly archives:

May 2013

From Your Future Doctor

by Marinka on May 30, 2013

“Mom, you know how you have that extra bone in your body that you don’t really need or something? Well, H got his removed today.”
– my son, telling me about his friend’s appendicitis.


When It Rains

by Marinka on May 24, 2013

Yesterday it rained in NYC. A lot. I don’t know how much exactly, but there were multiple raindrops.

Papa was picking up my son from school and they got soaked on the way back.

I know this because I got a text from my son saying that he and Ddude (short for Dedulya, the Russian affectionate term for grandfather) were soaked. Better you than me, suckers, I thought, sitting all Sahara-like indoors.

And then I got a terrifying text from my kid.

Ddude wants to know where your pants are.

I blinked, but the text still did not disappear.

“Maybe it’s an autocorrect issue and he was asking about plants,” my friend Betsy answered my Facebook lament. It’s like Betsy wasn’t raised by my Papa or something.

Because I, having had the privilege, knew exactly why he was asking.

Papa’s clothes had gotten wet and he wanted to change into my pants.

Let me repeat this: Papa wanted to wear a pair of pants that belong to me. A woman’s pair of pants. And I knew this to a certainly as a daughter whose father worn her clothes before knows.

Don’t get me wrong, Papa is not a cross-dresser. But he is very practical and does not believe in things like “boundaries”. If he needs a pair of pants or a pair of pink crocs, or t-shirt that just so happens to sport a Cindy Sherman “Your Body is a Battleground” silkscreen, why shouldn’t he borrow his daughter’s? And if he can’t find them, what’s wrong with having his grandson send a text to help the process along?

“Unfortunately” I didn’t “see” my son’s text until it was “too late”. And by then, Papa settled on a bathrobe instead. My husband’s, fortunately.



May 14, 2013

I woke up on Mother’s Day with three thoughts. 1. I have to get off Level 65 on Candy Crush, but I don’t think it’s humanly possible. 2. Dear Lord, I hope this isn’t the year that my kids decide to surprise me with breakfast in bed because I’m much too crumb-conscious to ever enjoy […]

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Back to the Future

May 8, 2013

Sometimes I wonder what it’s going to be like when my kids are all grown up and visit me with their families. Will they learn to accept Ryan Gosling as my new significant other or will they continue to be starstruck in his presence? I know I’m being presumptuous. I mean, there’s no guarantee that […]

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Candy Farm

May 5, 2013

Let me ask you this: If I were in a throes of a nervous breakdown, would you want to know? If you’re a normal person, your instinct is probably to lie with a “of course! If you’re having a nervous breakdown, I care deeply and want to help!” But really? REALLY? Like, what kind of […]

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