Bucket List

by Marinka on November 4, 2013

I know that there are some people who have bucket lists- inspiring things they want to do and accomplish, adventures they want to try, preferably before death.

I’m not one of those people. Not only do I not have a bucket list, other people’s lists fills me with vertigo and anxiety. “Travel to every continent!” I’ll read and immediately double-bolt my front door so as not to threaten my status as a shut-in.

“Learn a foreign language!” I’ll see someone aspire to and I roll my eyes, as well as my R’s as I wonder why someone would want to commit to the unnecessary ridiculousness of adult homework. Especially with the new Fall TV season under way. (Btw, is it me or are The Goldbergs the worst thing to happen to Jews since some other bad shit that happened to Jews?)

So I’m not a bucket list type of gal.

Except the other day I realized that I desperately needed one. And the reason that I needed one is that I had to add an item to it. It was only one item, it wasn’t a big deal, with it was absolutely crucial that I accomplish that goal. A matter of life and death, if you will.

This is what my bucket list looks like now:

Marinka’s Bucket List


Because last week, I took my black suede boots to be cleaned at the shoe place. Apparently they shampoo them and blow them out or something. So I took the boots in for a day of beauty and pampering and after I paid for it, the shoe guy gave me a a receipt. A receipt that had a number on it. He kept the other half of the receipt, with the identical number on it, in case you’re visiting our planet for the first time and are unsure of how these things work.

Like an idiot, I put my half receipt into my purse, instead of, say, a vault, and when it was time to be reunited with my boots, I could not find it.

“I can’t find my receipt,” I told the shoe-keeper. “Is that going to be a problem?”

The look on his face was my first hint that yes, this would be a problem, if problem were code for nuclear holocaust in the first degree. Then he explained that all the shoes were packaged up in identical brown paper bags and the only way to tell them apart was by the number on the receipt. In my case, there was a wrinkle because I no longer had that receipt and like a short-sighted moron, I did not memorize the number on the receipt.

“So what are you saying?” I asked, my heart doing a lot of stereotypical things, like skipping a beat and dropping into my stomach.

“You need a receipt,” he said and then went to help some OCDs in line behind me, receipt in hand.

Fortunately this story has a happy ending. I looked through the black hole of my purse carefully and eventually located the receipt. And enjoyed the human-boot reunion.

But I learned a powerful lesson that day.

When the shoe guy gives you a receipt, hold on to it.

Your shoes are counting on you.

One year ago ...

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

sisters from another mister November 4, 2013 at 7:58 am

OMGawwssh … he has a twin Boca. I have a coat being held hostage as I type. Except the coat belongs to my 15 yr old, and she thinks I did it on purpose. Sigh.


Erin@MommyontheSpot November 4, 2013 at 8:52 am

This is one of my biggest fears when it comes to my dry cleaning. Dry cleaning only happens about twice a year, but holy hell, am I afraid I won’t see my stuff again if I loose that receipt.


Susan Weinstein November 4, 2013 at 9:53 am

I am lamentably, also not sufficiently OCD and often lose such receipts. Have more than one zippered compartment I put them in, so I get to go through all. My bucket list is organize myself physically. I have yet to find my fall clothes and put the summer ones away! But I did make soup and spinach quiche, bed the OCD people don’t make food, it’s an imperfect activity.


dusty earth mother November 4, 2013 at 10:19 am

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I’ve been in the back of a shoe repair place or dry cleaners, looking through identically bagged items for my lost-half-ticket stuff. Immediately adding this to my bucket list, after the crossed-off “jump out of an airplane”.


Laurie November 4, 2013 at 3:50 pm

How about taking a picture of your receipt? That way, if the wee scrap of paper disappears (as they are known to do spontaneously), you have a number.

All right, I admit it. I’m one of those OCD people. It isn’t easy being the person who tries to hand over the receipt to the dry cleaning people who don’t want it and are probably handing my clothes out to just anyone who says my name!

I should submit this comment anonymously. oops


November 4, 2013 at 11:44 pm

This is genius!


Mama bird diaries
November 5, 2013 at 7:54 am

That is insane. He needs a back up plan for those of us who can’t hold onto a receipt.


November 5, 2013 at 9:14 am

Is it just me or are all shoe repair men grumpy? Every experience I’ve had has always been with a grumpy man. It also seems like a father son shop often. Maybe that’s not a good working relationship for most people.


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