Coffee Chat

by Marinka on February 24, 2010

Mama came over on Wednesday morning to stay home with feverish Young Ladrinka.

“This is ripping off,” she placed a cup of coffee from the local bagel shop on the table. “One dollar and fifty cents. Nonsense.”

“How much do you think it should cost,” I ask her. “A quarter?”

“In Queens, I buy delicious coffee from Al-Qaida, and it’s 75 cents.”

Blink.

“What do you mean you buy coffee from Al-Qaida?”

“I cannot keep up with your political correct.  Okay, Al-Qaida-Americans.”

“Do you mean Muslim?” I tried.

“No, not Muslim. Talibanian.  I can tell.”

“I don’t think there’s a deep Al-Qaida plant in Queens, operating a coffee cart.”

“You don’t think, period.  If someone is terrorist, they don’t make an announcement. Death to America, Buy My Coffee.  They are undercover.”

“But coffee is good?” I gave up.

“Excellent.  But when threat is elevated, I do not buy.  I like to send a message that I disapprove and he gets my message.”

“Mama, you know that this is crazy.”

“Maybe.  But boycott make me feel better that I do something.”

“But aren’t you worried that Al-Qaida will try to poison your coffee.”

“Yes, I do worry,” Mama told me. “But the price is too good.”

One year ago ...

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

kiki
Twitter:
February 24, 2010 at 7:52 pm

wow! mama is hysterical. my mil is visiting for a few days and has already corrected my parenting skills about 5 times in the last 3 hrs. drives me bonkers. your mama has made me happy. thanks for sharing and take care.

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OHmommy
Twitter:
February 24, 2010 at 8:26 pm

Your Mama should have her own Facebook Fan page.

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K-Line February 24, 2010 at 8:41 pm

Now I know where you get your hilarious-streak from. This is a woman whose blog I’d like to read!

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Ann's Rants February 24, 2010 at 8:59 pm

I love this post.

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anna see February 24, 2010 at 9:16 pm

mama is killing me. this is hilarious. of course now she has planted this terminology in my brain and i’ll probably come out with al-qaida-american at an inappropriate time. well, i guess no time would be appropriate…

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
February 24, 2010 at 9:36 pm

I like the way she thinks. If it’s affordable, worth a little poison risk for sure.

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Keyona
Twitter:
February 24, 2010 at 10:17 pm

You have to admit that 75 cents is a damn good deal, terrorists or not.

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SubWife February 24, 2010 at 11:49 pm

I love your mama! That woman is too funny.

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Kate Coveny Hood
Twitter:
February 25, 2010 at 12:13 am

Al-Qaida-Americans is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a very long time. She’s a sharp one – Jack Bauer could use her on the CTU team. Seriously though – this one actually made me cry it was so funny.

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Coco
Twitter:
February 25, 2010 at 6:51 am

Your Mother is a trip. She is too funny.

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christy February 25, 2010 at 9:04 am

Your mama should have a radio show! You guys crack me up!!!!!!!!

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always home and uncool
Twitter:
February 25, 2010 at 11:39 am

Woody Allen needs to hang with Mama.

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peajaye
Twitter:
February 25, 2010 at 12:43 pm

maybe we should change our security warnings from colors to something like: Cappuccino, Frappuchino, Mocha, Double Latte, Triple Espresso Grande.

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SoccerMom February 25, 2010 at 12:55 pm

Your mother is a riot! I am sure she would just die if she knew what starbucks charges for a cup of coffee. As does my sportsman, everytime I stop and get starbucks, he reminds me that I should really be cutting back on my coffee in take. Like he is really concerned about my general well being.

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six in the city February 25, 2010 at 3:19 pm

OMG! How hysterical!!
Of course you realize your blog content today probably triggered something with Big Brother.

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amy @ bitchin wives club
Twitter:
February 25, 2010 at 5:15 pm

Talibanian!! Brilliant.

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Heather, Queen of Shake Shake February 25, 2010 at 8:36 pm

Mama, please adopt me.

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Crys February 26, 2010 at 11:17 am

Your mama is a RIOT!!! I’d LOVE to sit and have coffee with her, just to hear her talk about people! When I bring my family to your neck of the woods, can I borrow mama for a day? I’ll take good care of her, I promise! Of course, it’ll be in a year but I’d like to make my reservation now…

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Sophie February 26, 2010 at 2:43 pm

Arab coffee is wonderful. To die for. Ahem.

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Phoenix Rising
Twitter:
February 26, 2010 at 4:10 pm

I love your mama!

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Heather of the EO February 26, 2010 at 5:05 pm

Kate from the Big Piece of Cake sent me over here. I’m so glad she did.

Hilarity.

Really. I can’t even come up with a humorous enough response for this. Just…hilarity. Love it.

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p-huong February 28, 2010 at 2:02 pm

I pay 3 bucks for half a cup of coffee. Could Mama help lower the price over here?

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Alex
Twitter:
March 5, 2010 at 7:30 pm

My favorite is that your mama doesn’t buy coffee from al-qaida when the terror threat is elevated. I about died at that part.

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Mary @ Holy Mackerel
Twitter:
March 8, 2010 at 2:47 pm

I both love your mother, and am very very scared of her.

Reply

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