Marinka: Honey, come here, I want to talk to you.
13 year old daughter: No, thanks.
M: It’s not a choice.
13 yo: WHAT?
M: You know what’s really sucks?
13 yo: I thought I wasn’t allowed to use that word.
M: You’re not, but I can.
13 yo: That’s not fair.
M: It is fair. You’re a child and you can’t use that word, but I’m an adult, so I can. It’s the good thing about being an adult.
13 yo: I thought the good thing about being a grown up was voting.
M: Ok, yes, but now we’re talking about what sucks, not about what’s good. And what sucks is being pregnant.
13 yo: Didn’t you say that it was a really beautiful time in your life or something like that?
M: I did, but I was lying. Because I wanted you to have good self-esteem. And now that that’s done, I can be honest. It was totally gross.
13 yo: Ok, whatever.
M: Look at my stomach-
13: I get it, mom, it was gross.
M: That’s not- just look at my stomach, and my thighs. Before I got pregnant, I had the body of a supermodel.
13 yo: Where?
M: Where what?
13 yo: Where did you have this model’s body?
M: Oh, you’re a comedienne, aren’t you?
13 yo: …
M: So the point is, getting pregnant is a terrible, terrible thing. Don’t even think about it.
13 yo: I wasn’t.
M: But you should remember that being pregnant is the worst thing that could happen to a woman and do everything you can to avoid it.
M: Great. I’m glad we talked.
13 yo: What if I want to have kids someday?
M: Then you can adopt, like the celebrities.
13 yo: Adopt?
M: Sure. But only after you meet someone you love and are in a committed relationship.
13 yo: Ok.
I’m really glad that I had this talk with my teen. Although now I’m worried that I’ve glamorized adoption and that my daughter will adopt while she’s in high school.
I’m at Babble Kids today with a brand new post called I gave you life, don’t give me these! about Mother’s Day gifts that I. Do. Not. Want.