Recently, I’ve had to place my friend Wendi on Friendship Probation.
Here’s what happened.
My routine on Friday is: Wake up and thank the Lord that it is Friday. Then I ask the Lord to hurry up and make it Monday again, so that the kids can go back to school and leave me the hell alone.
Then I crawl to the computer, check my email and Twitter. Then I look at my favorite blogs. Kelcey posts on Friday, so I always look forward to reading The MamaBird Diaries. Except last Friday morning there was no post. Hmm, I thought. No post from Kelcey? I hope that everything is okay. Why wouldn’t she post? I was worried that something was wrong, but I was trying not to overreact, reminding myself that Kelcey recently moved out of NYC to Appalachia and that internet service could be splotchy. I went about my day, minding my own business, when suddenly (and out of the blue) I got a text from Wendi. Do you know what the text said?
Let’s take a quiz!
a. Hi Marinka! Just a quick text to tell you that I love you and admire you.
b. Hi Marinka! Everything is okay, and it looks like Kelcey is going to have the babies soon! How exciting! I love the miracle of life!
c. Kelcey in hospital.
I’ll end the suspense and tell you that Wendi went with option C. And unfortunately for all of us, her text did not come with a Xanax attachment.
So I did what any normal person would do under the circumstances. I texted an identical message to Heather. Because I’m not going to be the only one panicking and worrying. I can give as good as I get!
Fortunately, Kelcey and her babies are doing really well. Look for yourself! I’m also recovering nicely from Wendi’s text, but it was touch and go there for a while.
Wendi tried to make it up to me by sending me this: (Hint of horror: BMIFC stands for Barry Manilow International Fan Club. I think. It could stand for Barry Manilow Insomniacs for Choice.)
Thank you for joining the BMIFC!
We are glad you are with us!
Recently, Barry created Manilow.TV just for you, his fans. Manilow.TV is a place for Barry
to share videos from his personal performance archives. Each month he chooses a
different, never-before-seen video to share with you!
Because you are a BMIFC member, we would like you to experience Manilow.TV with our
compliments for an entire week…starting today!
Now Wendi is on Friendship Probation to the Second Degree. Because that email showed malice and disregard for human life, to say nothing about the intentional infliction of emotional distress and multiple violations of the Homeland Security Act. And possibly the No Child Left Behind legislation.