Good Breast Day

by Marinka on March 11, 2014

They haven’t been all great days, but yesterday was a good one.

I had a good breast day yesterday. I started off with a mammogram, which I have once a year. When I made this appointment, about six weeks ago, the lady on the phone said “is this routine or is your breast bothering you?” I’ve never heard it phrased that way before and it made me think. Was my breast bothering me? Honestly, I hate the self-check exams because I always find something. Usually it’s my ribcage, but still. I’ve talked to a few girlfriends and they all sort of feel the same way. I’ve had my doctor, multiple doctors, really, show me how to do the exam, but I still can’t tell. Maybe that’s my learning difference. It’s frightening.

But I didn’t want to tell the lady on the phone all that, so I said “routine.” Which it was.

Papa came with me, because he always does.

“I’m so nervous,” I told him. “It just seems like it’s a matter of time.”

“A matter of time for what?” he asked.

“Before they find something,” I said.

“Not everyone gets breast cancer,” he told me. And then he reminded me that I have no family history of it.

“But your mother died when she was young,” I said.

Yes, but she had heart disease, he told me, probably thanking his lucky stars that I didn’t go to medical school.

“Hey, my eyes are RIGHT HERE,” I told the mammography technician as she fed my breasts into the machine. She smiled politely. I’m sure she heard it all, including my all-time favorite “thanks for squeezing me in!” that I like to say as I’m leaving.

The news was good, all negative, which I like to hear.

“Are you doing anything else today?” the technician asked when we were done.

“No,” I said. And then asked what the other options were.

“There’s bone density, other scans, some people get it all done at once,” she told me.

I considered it.

“This isn’t a spa,” Papa reminded me. He’s one of those eccentrics who thinks that people should only get tests that their doctors recommend, not what “sounds good” on a particular morning.

I was grateful for a negative mammogram and I decided to celebrate by buying new bras. When’s the last time that you bought a new bra? I still remember my first bra purchase, with Mama, at Lord & Taylor, where the saleswoman looked me over and said “you don’t need a bra,” before walking away. I’m guessing they didn’t work on commission in the 1980s? Thank goodness Ronald Reagan changed all that.

This time I went to Saks. And I was measured by their Glamazon. Their Russian speaking Glamazon.

“Hey, my eyes are RIGHT HERE,” I recycled for her. She laughed. There’s more levity in shopping than in mammography, it turns out.

“Your body is perfect, but your bra is not,” she told me. And then she brought me some bras to try on, to have and to hold and to wear.

It was a good breast day.

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Cheryl
Twitter:
March 11, 2014 at 10:03 am

I rarely let you know just how much you brighten my day when you decide to hit Publish. Thank you for this one and all the ones that came before it because hell, it’s a good laptop day and I thought I’d share.

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awesome dude March 11, 2014 at 3:12 pm

In the Medieval times man pants had a special outside attachment for the penis and scrotum.

See: The Life of Gargantua and of Pantagruel (French: La vie de Gargantua et de Pantagruel) 16th century by François Rabelais,

I believe that Sacks Fifth Avenue should speak to Armani and then bring it back to fashion.

It will be only fair to go to Saks and be measured and fitted.

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Cy
Twitter:
March 11, 2014 at 3:16 pm

I’m having a crummy day (although my breasts are ok.) Thanks for cheering me up!

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Susan Weinstein March 11, 2014 at 9:46 pm

I never thought of bra shopping after a mammogram. What a good idea, if you don ‘t embarrass easily. Can’t imagine talking uplift with a stranger. But then religions are founded on that.

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Jennifer Weedon (@Slummy_Mummy) March 12, 2014 at 10:13 am

A good breast day is even better than a good hair day.

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Mama bird diaries
Twitter:
March 12, 2014 at 11:08 am

Yay!! I swear I wasn’t even looking at your breasts.

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Nancy Davis Kho
Twitter:
March 12, 2014 at 12:07 pm

After a mammogram, every woman should get a free bra and an air inflator. So many more women would get them.

Glad the girls were good.

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barbara sigelbaum
Twitter:
March 12, 2014 at 5:37 pm

Feel uplifted just reading this. If trepadatious isn’t a word, it should be. It describes the type of day many women feel mammogram day is.

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KarenN March 12, 2014 at 10:54 pm

Thanks for the reminder!

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Lady Jennie March 13, 2014 at 2:33 pm

Okay I can’t think of anything funny to say, despite the opportunity being ripe.

Ripe like melons.

Okay I’m not funny.

Glad the boobs are okay though.

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Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes March 13, 2014 at 5:12 pm

Saks, because your boobs are worth it.

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Angela C. March 20, 2014 at 9:24 pm

I just discovered your blog and love this. I get so scared when I go too. I have just reached the age where I will need to routinely but I had a scare a few years back where I had to get a mammogram that thankfully came out negative. Thanks for sharing this – glad I am not alone in the fear (and assumption it’s “only a matter of time”)… that’s not really true but glad to know I am not the only one who thinks that way.

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alexandra March 24, 2014 at 10:39 am

I will celebrate your breasts today.

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