I love daytime television and Barack Obama! And also, I have my period

by Marinka on December 26, 2008

If there is anything that I love more than daytime television–from Oprah to Jerry Springer to The Price is Right to General Hospital, I don’t know what it is. A perfect day is spent watching all of that. And reading articles about Barack Obama, who is a wonderful man and an inspiring leader. I am so happy that I voted for him, even though I supported Hillary Clinton in the primaries. And also I am getting my period soon. The rest of this post will describe all these events in detail and also provide makeup tips. Hopefully my family members have stopped reading at this point and are busy dialing mental health facilities for intervention, so I am going to switch gears a bit and tell you that yesterday, during Christmas dinner, my father scared the shit out of me by telling me that he is considering opening up a cat shelter where he would take in and care for homeless cats. The best part about it was that he said this in Russian, so my kids, husband and in-laws were clueless about what he said and why I was self-administering the Heimlich. Don’t get me wrong, cats are good. But my father has severe allergies to cats, so this plan to take in, oh, a hundred of them, has Dr. Kevorkian written all over it. Is my father trying to end it all? Is this a scream for help? For some strange reason when I posed these questions to him, he seemed taken a back. Apparently, and secretly, his lifelong dream has been to help homeless cats. Please pray for us. Because if my father becomes one of those cat hoarders, you’ll be begging me to blog about my period instead of the cats.

And that’s why Barack Obama was my candidate and why General Hospital is the best soap ever!

One year ago ...

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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Pseudonymous High School Teacher December 26, 2008 at 10:22 am

Dude – you crack me up every time I come here. Barack Obama is on the other side of the island from me right now. My son surfs by where he is staying and has seen his secret service guys wnadering the neighborhood. An yeah, he inspries the hell out of me too.

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Braja December 26, 2008 at 10:43 am

Marinka….what can I say?

Shoutout in my post. And an award. I do awards differently. None of that “post this on your site or I’ll hunt you all over blogland and violate your family members via email” kinda shit. Just something shiny and beautiful…it’s in my sidebar. If you want it. Leave a tip.

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Madge December 26, 2008 at 11:14 am

i heart general hospital.

and barack obama.

the cat shelter? god bless you.

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Kirsten / Mama Ginger Tree December 26, 2008 at 11:20 am

I’m praying your father comes to his senses.

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Janie December 26, 2008 at 11:21 am

Just the title made me crack up.

And then I got to the post. Too funny!

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Temple December 26, 2008 at 12:06 pm

I admire both his altruistic heart and his loss of sanity…there are some days my two little feline furballs of love are too much for me, and they don’t make me break out into hives or anything…they just make me constantly refill their bowls and let them in…and out…and in…and out…

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derfina December 26, 2008 at 1:00 pm

Pigs fly too, I take it?

Too funny!

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Smart A$$ Mom December 26, 2008 at 1:15 pm

right after your dad takes in cats, you shoudl think about a career in stand up.

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Cindy December 26, 2008 at 2:19 pm

I’m having a hard time deciding what to say.
I like Barack too.

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Jos December 26, 2008 at 2:40 pm

hahaha! I too know the joys of strange & disturbing conversations with a parent in a language that no one around me can understand. perhaps carrying the horror all alone is a gift to others, but I'm glad you can unburden here. wishing you lots of wine.

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Anna See December 26, 2008 at 3:13 pm

Ewww. I always thought it was weird cat-collecting LADIES, not MEN. Good luck with that.

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anymommy December 26, 2008 at 3:51 pm

OH! Oh!! I really and selfishly hope your father becomes a cat hoarder. Because then there’s a good chance he’ll move to Idaho, most self respecting cat hoarders live in Idaho on an acre or two off the grid with a few trailers for the cats. Then, when you come to Idaho to have him committed, we can have coffee!

I can make absolutely everything about me.

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blognut December 26, 2008 at 4:00 pm

Too funny. I don’t do cats so the cat shelter would have me a little freaked out too.

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Heinous December 26, 2008 at 4:13 pm

and think…you can help him take care of the cats! It will be like a Mother-Father bonding experience. Wow, you have some good times ahead of you.

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Jeanne December 26, 2008 at 5:20 pm

I actually like Barack Obama, but I still hope your dad decides against the cat shelter!

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Marinka December 26, 2008 at 7:11 pm

I like BO too. And General Hospital!

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Payton December 26, 2008 at 8:14 pm

…oh Lord in Heaven.

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Joan Novark December 26, 2008 at 8:38 pm

You amaze me — how do you manage to be so funny, day after day, even during the holidays? AND when you have your period, no less?

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Tooj December 27, 2008 at 10:05 am

I’m a Days of Our Lives girl. I’m an Obama girl too. Cats – used to be. I think your dad might open it up and ask you to run it??? I can see that. LOL

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Heather December 27, 2008 at 11:11 am

Maybe he will get featured on Animal Planet!

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Sophie, Inzaburbs December 27, 2008 at 4:27 pm

I have a friend who fosters the cats the shelter can’t keep on display. Right now she has two with ringworm, one with the sneezes and one who “we had to separate from his brother because they were obsessively licking each others genitals”.

Tooj makes a good point there – maybe this will become something you could inherit later!

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Beth December 28, 2008 at 5:13 am

At least you know what your dad always dreamed of doing… Hilarious!

Now might be the time to start buying stock in Allegra D.

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