I’m Right, You’re Wrong: Execution

by Marinka on March 20, 2013

Last week, Husbandrinka and I had a romantic dinner out, just the two of us (and the other people in the restaurant, it wasn’t one of those romantic gestures where he bought out the entire restaurant and led me into it, mostly because I suspect  that’s less romantic and more creepfest). But we were having dinner and as usual, the conversation turned into one of those Hallmark-card moments. (This would be a good time to remind gentle reader that before I married Husbandrinka and made him “the Happiest Man Alive” -quote marks his- he and I were having dinner on Valentine’s Day and he looked deep into my eyes, those pools of oceanic blue, and said, “I’ve been thinking,” and then he raised a champagne flute in what I was sure was going to be a proposal, “I’ve been thinking, it’s really hard to understand the New York Times‘ policy towards Israel.”)

So, as I was saying, we were having dinner when he suddenly and without any warning started to tell me about Saudi Arabia and how their practice of the death penalty by beheading was going to be no more because the beheading swordsmen were exhausted from traveling all over the place beheading people left and right and in order to ease this undesirable work condition, Saudi Arabia was going to have death penalty by firing squad because death penalty by Watching The Kardashians violates international law.

Now I have to take half a step back here so that we, as humankind, can take a leap forward. You know how there are some people who had a class in school 20 years ago for 20 seconds and now they think they’re an expert on the subject? Well, good/bad news: I’m one of those people.  Because I studied the death penalty in school and now it’s practically my middle name.  So ok, I studied the US death penalty, but I find that executions, much like Paris, are a moveable feast.

So here’s the latest installment of I’m Right, You’re Wrong.  Now, unfortunately for this installment, it’ll be obvious which view I hold (the right one) because I pretty much just spelled it out in this epic-length introduction to this post, but I’m hoping that most people will have skipped/glossed over/promptly forgot that part.

So, here we go!

Dilemma: Does Saudi Arabia’s policy of ending executions by beheadings and starting executions by firing squad make sense?

Position One:  Yes. I read about it in the newspaper.

Position Two: No. Firing squads are traditionally used to alleviate the sense of responsibility in the shooter, since no one knows whose bullet killed the executee.

Position Three: For the love of all things holy, Marinka, just write your fucking book already and leave the rest of the world alone. No one wants to read about executions on a mommy blog, for fuck’s sake.


So, what do you think?


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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Awesome dude March 20, 2013 at 8:52 am

The folk expression “As good as dead” comes to mind.

On the other hand if Arabs brought about mathematics and geometry why not let them decide what is better for their citizens.

Fast beheading is much better then 9 of the guys missing you and the 10th one hitting you in a knee cap.


March 20, 2013 at 9:37 am

I am firmly in the anti-firing squad camp, but I can also claim residence in the anti-beheading camp. Given a choice, I would choose no execution at all for anyone, even the most henious criminals up to and including being one of the Kardashians.

I am not really helping here, am I?


March 20, 2013 at 9:51 am

I think you need to divorce Husbandrinka so he can become the next The Bachelor because this is exactly the type of special date I’d watch.


joeinvegas March 20, 2013 at 10:55 am

I kind of like the Kardashian idea, but sorry M, have to vote for position 3.


Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes March 20, 2013 at 11:09 am

I’m starting to think husbandrinka and my husband are related.


March 20, 2013 at 1:38 pm

The policy makes sense, but the rationale doesn’t. Don’t the firing squads still have to travel? That means you have several people traveling instead of just one guy with a sword. Maybe the sword was the problem? Maybe the Saudi Arabian version of TSA wouldn’t let him get on a plane with it?


anna see March 20, 2013 at 2:19 pm

Yeah. Well. I don’t know. But I’m usually on your side, so I’ll go with whatever you say. And I stayed home from work today to “write” but am not writing either. Oh well.


christy March 20, 2013 at 2:34 pm

I read this once, and have no idea what your stance is. Like Anna, I agree with you. I’m on strong painkillers and still have a killer headache. Meow.


b a seagull
March 20, 2013 at 4:53 pm

After reading your title, I thought you were getting way too harsh if someone disagrees with you. Not taking chances, I agree with you.


Mira March 20, 2013 at 5:07 pm

3. But I mean that in a really nice way.

The answer to 1 is, According to whom?

The answer to 2 is, Yeah, but what does that have to do with the rest of the options?

Also, count yourself lucky that Husbandrinka has SOMETHING to say for himself. My man is pretty much “IhatemyjobIhatemyjobIhatemyjobIhatemyjobIhatemyjob, by the way, have I mentioned lately that I hate my job?”


March 20, 2013 at 10:03 pm

Wow, that never occurred to me! Also, Marinka… the more you know, right people?


Gdot March 21, 2013 at 7:30 am

For Fucks Sake I just read about beheadings on a mommys blog!


March 21, 2013 at 8:09 am

While suggesting executions for the Kardashians gave me pause, I’m going with option #3. Reading your (eventual) book trumps beheadings (or firing squads).


Carinn @welcometothemotherhood
March 21, 2013 at 9:18 am

You can die from Watching the Kardashians — people know that, right? This post is a public service announcement, I hope you all appreciate that.


March 21, 2013 at 9:45 am

I took my wife out to dinner and all we talked about was how bald I’ve gotten in the past few months. Not a mention of Saudi Arabia, death sentences, not even a whisper of the Kardashians.
That’s what I get for taking my wife to a chain restaurant.


Kizz March 21, 2013 at 10:05 am

I’m waiting for the results of the study that proves that the firing squad method makes ALL the shooters feel guilty, not just one.


March 21, 2013 at 6:59 pm

Um since it’s multiple choice I’m going to pick C. Also did you know that if you don’t know the answer to a multi choice question you should pick the same letter everytime because statistically it has to be right eventually?


C Smith March 22, 2013 at 8:18 pm

Maybe it’s that beheading takes more skill than just opening fire, after all you wouldn’t want to just scalp the condemned. The beheader might have to be a trained person who has to travel around, but they could just gather up any group of guys, give them a gun, and tell them to shoot.


March 28, 2013 at 11:22 am

Whatever happened to stoning to death?


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