Is It Me?

by Marinka on June 10, 2010

So, let’s say your Husbandrinka tells you that “we really need to be careful with finances this month.”

Do you or do you not take it as a sign that you must immediately invest in make up because it’s totally not your fault that you’ve been economically prudent until now and haven’t bought any make up in ages and you don’t understand why you have to be penalized for it now.

Well, apparently, my Husbandrinka thought that saying “we really need to be careful with finances this month” meant that I shouldn’t run to Sephora with all deliberate speed and buy two lipsticks and a Fiberwig mascara. Have you seen this Fiberwig mascara?

The best thing about it is the packaging, which I’m pretty sure is the most important aspect of mascara. And this packaging assures us that it’s Beyond Mascara! and It’s Paint-On False Lashes! And, just as importantly, No More Panda-Eyes! (God, I’m old. I remember when it was No More Raccoon eyes!)

The packaging also indicates that it’s High-Tech Cosmetics from Japan, which is sort of like getting a new appliance. A new appliance that doesn’t use any electricity, so it’s totally green. Perfect.

I reviewed the instructions on the package, and I’m afraid that it’s a lot to digest. Because the way that Fiberwig works is that it contains double the fiber for dramatic length! I have no idea double the fiber of what, but I am hopeful that the extra dose of fiber will help my lashes be more regular. The package also warns that the more you apply, the longer your lashes get. Add the fibers on the tip of your lashes repeatedly until lashes reach your desired length. Clearly, this requires commitment on my part. It’s entirely possible that I will have to reschedule some engagements this week to focus on my lash-lengthening project.

Obviously, I had to buy this mascara–technology, Japan, fiber–all my favorite things!

Husbandrinka was not impressed. Personally, I don’t understand why Husbandrinka struggles with these issues. You’d think that he was the English-as-a-Second Language one around here.
It’s enough to make a girl want to fly away on her lashes!
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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Casey June 10, 2010 at 12:49 am

This is quite funny because my husband was laid off 3 weeks ago and for some reasons, I dashed out of the house that evening and replaced all my makeup. No idea why. Now, it was the E.L.F. line at Target (which is quite good, btw) and it’s inexpensive, so I wasn’t in too much trouble. But, still.

Either way, that was nothing compared to the new car he came home to the next day. (had to get the financing mess done before he was officially unemployed)

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Sophie June 10, 2010 at 1:31 am

I need new stuff. Seriously, I do. I hadn’t realized it until you posted the picture of the fiber mascara. I need LOTS of new stuff.

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Kate Coveny Hood
Twitter:
June 10, 2010 at 7:27 am

I’m very familiar with this conversation…and I’m always on the same side of it.

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Coco
Twitter:
June 10, 2010 at 7:50 am

I am the same way. As soon as I am told I don’t need to do something I have to go do it. It is a matter of principle. We MUST do it.

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Tiffany
Twitter:
June 10, 2010 at 9:12 am

Yep me too. SO how is the mascara?

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Vicki
Twitter:
June 10, 2010 at 9:45 am

$24 ? Is it cheaper if you buy it with a prescription? Inquiring minds are intrigued.

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MommyTime
Twitter:
June 10, 2010 at 10:07 am

Really, I’m just stuck on the notion that the mascara is touted as a wig for your eyes. Does it come in different colors? Can you choose a bob or a pixie or a flip or other wig styles? Personally, I would like a red bob wig for my own eyelashes. I hope you chose something equally memorable. 😉

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annie June 10, 2010 at 11:31 am

Nothing makes me want to shop more than my husband (schmusband?) telling me to save money. It’s like he’s trying to punish me or something. Defense mechanisms click in faster than i can scan the debit card. I’m sure it’s all about me……and you, and your thick wavy lashes.

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Heather, Queen of Shake Shake June 10, 2010 at 1:29 pm

If Husbandrinka said “we really need to be careful with finances this month,” well, there’s no delicate way to put this, Marinka. I think I’d have sex with him. Because, if he said that, that means HE is tracking and paying the bills, balancing our checkbook and not me. *Swoon*

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peajaye
Twitter:
June 10, 2010 at 2:34 pm

How’s this for an argument: “Dearest Husbandrinka, I took your advice directly to heart, and purchased this inexpensive-yet-technologically-advanced toolkit that will protect my precious eyesight from damage. So now, when I’m traveling in the cramped confines of the NY Subway system, you needn’t worry about me getting blinded by some random, wind-swept piece of debris. Think of the hundred of thousand of dollars we’re saving in seeing-eye dogs, braille lessons, and servants!”

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GrandeMocha
Twitter:
June 11, 2010 at 9:21 am

Awesome argument! I usually go with “I’m sharing the wealth” or “just doing my part to make America great again.”

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Miss Britt
Twitter:
June 10, 2010 at 3:23 pm

I’m also familiar with this conversation, except I’m usually on the other side of it.

But, Jared looks really hot in mascara, so…

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dusty earth mother June 10, 2010 at 10:40 pm

I want to do a lash-lengthening project too! It just sounds like such a good way to invest your time and effort. Fiberwig party at my place? Who’s in?

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Karen at French Skinny June 10, 2010 at 10:48 pm

I want that mascara now. But I’m afraid I will have to cancel grocery shopping, laundry and opening my mail to make my lashes as long as I want them. This will be difficult. But possibly worth it.

Please let me know how it goes.

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Helena
Twitter:
June 11, 2010 at 9:49 am

This is exactly what I would do in your situation. Luckily my husband hasn’t learned how to say no to me yet. Last month I was all “I didn’t even go over my spending limit, and there are still 4 days left before June!” His reply? “Great job! I mean, I did increase your allowance by $70 this month, since you always go over by about that.” Still, I was proud.

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Melanie June 11, 2010 at 1:20 pm

If it’s resistant to water, sweat, and oils….how in the hell do you take it off?

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woo222
Twitter:
June 11, 2010 at 11:23 pm

Wait, wait, PANDA eyes?! I remember when it was raccoon eyes too. That doesn’t make us old..that just means those bastards are trying to screw with us. Don’t fall for it! woo222

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Steph June 12, 2010 at 11:49 am

In my house I’m the one who has to lay down the law financially. I’m not a spender but my husband definitely is. Thank goodness in most pairings there’s one of each of us.

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