On Saturday afternoon I was folding laundry with pride, when Mama called me.
“I’m upset,” she told me, even though she didn’t even have to say it. I could tell from her voice.
“Is everything ok?” I asked.
“No,” she said. “Everything is not ok. If everything was ok, I not upset.”
Which made sense.
I became alarmed.
I stopped folding laundry.
I didn’t want to get some terrible news and misfold, after all.
“What’s wrong, Mama?” I asked.
“It’s getting ridiculous,” she told me. “That moron isn’t working out. He is just in his underwear all the time and they’re making jokes about his penis and how big it is, but it’s stupid. More than stupid. Like mental condition, I think.”
“Who are we talking about?” I blinked.
“Men. Two and a half. Ever since Charlie left, those people who write–what are they called? Writers? Yes, writers. They become morons. All jokes stupid.”
“Are you talking about Two and A Half Men?” I asked. Maybe I could listen and fold after all.
“Yes, of course. People said give that Demi Moore’s husband chance. I am fair. I watch. But it is stupid and now he is leaving Demi Moore.”
“WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT TWO AND A HALF MEN? I don’t even watch that show.”
“Of course you don’t watch. Who can watch it without Charlie? He was genius on show, no Charlie make bad show.”
“I’ve never watched the show.”
“I don’t know. And now, final straw.”
I steeled myself.
“Demi Moore’s husband is hiring a decorator to redo Charlie’s apartment. I don’t like. I don’t want them to change a thing in the apartment. It’s Charlie’s.”
“You know it’s not really his apartment, right?”
“Of course I know. I’m not moron. If I was moron, I would be writer for show.”
I really hope that CBS is listening. And not trying to fold laundry at the same time.
One year ago ...
- In Training - 2013