Mama Is Upset

by Marinka on November 8, 2011

On Saturday afternoon I was folding laundry with pride, when Mama called me.

“I’m upset,” she told me, even though she didn’t even have to say it. I could tell from her voice.

“Is everything ok?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “Everything is not ok. If everything was ok, I not upset.”

Which made sense.

I became alarmed.

I stopped folding laundry.

I didn’t want to get some terrible news and misfold, after all.

“What’s wrong, Mama?” I asked.

“It’s getting ridiculous,” she told me. “That moron isn’t working out. He is just in his underwear all the time and they’re making jokes about his penis and how big it is, but it’s stupid. More than stupid. Like mental condition, I think.”

“Who are we talking about?” I blinked.

“Men. Two and a half. Ever since Charlie left, those people who write–what are they called? Writers? Yes, writers. They become morons. All jokes stupid.”

“Are you talking about Two and A Half Men?” I asked. Maybe I could listen and fold after all.

“Yes, of course. People said give that Demi Moore’s husband chance. I am fair. I watch. But it is stupid and now he is leaving Demi Moore.”

“WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT TWO AND A HALF MEN? I don’t even watch that show.”

“Of course you don’t watch. Who can watch it without Charlie? He was genius on show, no Charlie make bad show.”

“I’ve never watched the show.”

“I don’t know. And now, final straw.”

I steeled myself.

“Demi Moore’s husband is hiring a decorator to redo Charlie’s apartment. I don’t like. I don’t want them to change a thing in the apartment. It’s Charlie’s.”

“You know it’s not really his apartment, right?”

“Of course I know. I’m not moron. If I was moron, I would be writer for show.”

I really hope that CBS is listening. And not trying to fold laundry at the same time.

One year ago ...

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

Becky
Twitter:
November 8, 2011 at 7:17 am

I’m now anxiously awaiting Mama’s evaluation of the Kardashian mess.

Reply

Deborah J November 8, 2011 at 7:42 am

Your Mama is a fair critic. The lounge room is not the same without the piano…or Charlie.
I share her concern about the big penis jokes. They will soon lack credibility…unless they intend to prove it.
I will continue to watch for a while, just in case.

Reply

Signe November 8, 2011 at 8:35 am

I watched the first post-Charlie show. Too dumb to watch. I’m with Mama on this one. Charlie Sheen is/was crazy but funny. The writers don’t know what to do with the post-Charlie show.

Reply

Wendi
Twitter:
November 8, 2011 at 8:45 am

I’m laughing at this one. My parents had a 10 minute conversation with me while they were here about how badly Ashton is ruining the show and how it’s just not the same anymore. What is it with senior citizens & this show??

Reply

highlyirritable
Twitter:
November 8, 2011 at 9:49 am

Mama called it.

As soon as I saw that Demi’s husband had sold Charlie’s piano, I knew that all the class and high brow humour the show was previously known for was gone for good.

Reply

Ann
Twitter:
November 8, 2011 at 9:49 am

Mama should could at least write for mamapop. Is that so much to ask?

Reply

Megan November 8, 2011 at 10:33 am

I’m completely with Mama on this. Just not working for me. Good thing they moved “House” to 9pm. No, I don’t have a TiVo, OK?

Reply

Scary Mommy
Twitter:
November 8, 2011 at 10:34 am

I second Ann’s comment. Mama really needs a writing gig.

Reply

Jess November 8, 2011 at 11:31 am

Mama Right……CBS Wrong

Reply

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes November 8, 2011 at 11:43 am

Ssssshh don’t spoil it for me! The new season hasn’t aired yet in Belgium!

Reply

Issa
Twitter:
November 8, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Your mama is pretty freaking awesome.

Reply

Alexandra
Twitter:
November 8, 2011 at 2:29 pm

After this, I’m starting to wonder who actually writes your posts.

(I know it’s mama…)

nyuk nyuk: “Of course I’m not moron. If I’m moron, I write for show.”

The thumbs up button should be changed from “LIKE” to “LOVE”

Reply

kiki
Twitter:
November 8, 2011 at 2:49 pm

i agree with Mama, even though i haven’t watched at all this season. i knew Ashton would not work out and that the writing wouldn’t compensate for Charlie’s absence, so i didn’t want to waste my valuable TV viewing time. i still think Charlie is bat-shit crazy, but the man can act and he carried that show. i have reached out to networks regarding their horrible shows before and nothing ever transpires. maybe Mama can turn things around and save us all. have her write E! and Ryan Seacrest to get those Kardashians off the air.

Reply

Holly November 8, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Poor Mama. Is not Charlie really leaving Demi Moore?

Reply

awesome dude November 8, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Smart children usually have dumb parents.

Reply

tracy@sellabitmum
Twitter:
November 8, 2011 at 10:47 pm

When are your parents starting their own blog? Or maybe joining The Twitter?

Reply

rebeccaNYC November 9, 2011 at 12:35 am

You just could not make this stuff up.

Reply

kara
Twitter:
November 9, 2011 at 9:25 am

I second it…you’re parents must definitely start their own blog! Now that would really be awesome. Hilarious!

Reply

Whitney
Twitter:
November 9, 2011 at 9:50 am

Mama is oh so right! Show is just not the same!

Reply

Stasha
Twitter:
November 9, 2011 at 12:50 pm

I think you should stop folding, hop on the plane to LA and sort this problem right away. You owe it to your mama.

Reply

mindy November 9, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Mama’s right. As always. Love Mama and Papa.

Reply

Glamamom
Twitter:
November 10, 2011 at 11:40 pm

He’s in his underwear and they make jokes about how big his penis is? Thanks for the recommendation. I just set my DVR!

Reply

alina November 14, 2011 at 2:07 am

honestly, I loved the show with Charlie…..but it turns my stomach with Walden..I’m sick of his dick jokes and how much money he has….and i don’t want him changing anything in the beach house it belongs to Charlie Harper!

Chuck Lorre…..you should beg Charlie Sheen on your hands and knees to come back as Ashton Kutcher is RUINING the show! if you make it to next season it will be your last! Don’t let that happen We love the Harper family! but we don’t like Walden Schmidt!

Reply

alina November 14, 2011 at 2:07 am

honestly, I loved the show with Charlie…..but it turns my stomach with Walden..I’m sick of his dick jokes and how much money he has….and i don’t want him changing anything in the beach house it belongs to Charlie Harper!

Chuck Lorre…..you should beg Charlie Sheen on your hands and knees to come back as Ashton Kutcher is RUINING the show! if you make it to next season it will be your last! Don’t let that happen We love the Harper family! but we don’t like Walden Schmidt!

Reply

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