Muse Attacked! Story at 11!

by Marinka on November 28, 2009

We drove to my parents’ dacha, in the Catskills, for Thanksgiving. I love the ride there, because the kids are usually watching a video, or listening to their iPods so I get to talk to Husbandrinka. He is driving, so he is a captive audience.

“So, I was thinking,” I started. “You know how I’m anonymous on my blog? Well, when my book comes out I’m not going to be anonymous anymore.”
“I’m not too worried about that,” Husbandrinka tells me, which for some reason I don’t find reassuring.
“What do you mean?” I ask, tilting my head to the side, a la the RCA dog.
“The chances that what you are writing is going to be published is very slim,” he said. Yes, a regular Vera to my Nobokov.
“Slim how?”
“Slim as in a small chance.”

I decide to punish him with the silent treatment, although in this case, punishment may mean the exact opposite. So, we rode along listening to music, and then I said, “God, this song sucks.”
And Husbandrinka said, “This is Midnight at the Oasis, from 1975.” And I said, “Oh, I wouldn’t know about that, because I was trapped behind the Iron Curtain back then, but I guess the world will be deprived of my story because you think that it will never be published.”
Then Husbandrinka got defensive, because we were like on mile 3 of our 150 mile journey.
“I’m just saying that there are millions of people writing things and very few get published,” he said.
“Wait, so you’re comparing someone in Appalachia doing cave etchings, holding their writing utensil in a broomstick grip and their tongues tucked in the corner of their mouths to me?”
“There’s the extrapolation again,” Husbandrinka shook his head. “But do you really think that middle America is dying to read about hysterical Jews leaving Russia?”
“Well,they read about a drunk Irishman torturing his family,” I defended myself verbally, although I could see this conversation ending in an arrest.
“That makes sense. There are a lot of drunk Irish people in this country.”
“Yes, I’m sure that they were all lined up at Barnes & Noble for the midnight release of Angela’s Ashes,” I said.
“Besides, Angela’s Ashes was well written,” Husbandrinka dug deeper.
“Well written. I must write that down. I was thinking of a way to improve my writing and I think that you’re really onto something.”
“I’m sure yours will be well written, too,” he said.
“And published.”
“Yes, and published.”
“Why did you say that it probably wouldn’t be?”
“I made a mistake,” Husbandrinka apologized.
And we drove on, happily ever after.

One year ago ...

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Wicked Bitch November 28, 2009 at 8:07 pm

This is a great post, girl.

We amazing, confident and talented women have to shrug stuff like this off because many people just can’t imagine that we can actually achieve our ambitious goals. I think sometimes people tell us that we can’t do something because they just can’t imagine it being done, or maybe they want to save us from setting ourselves up for failure.

I personally would pick up your story in an instant. The female perspective of your life, immigration, etc would be absolutely fascinating. Not to mention unique, because we don’t often hear about Russian women-other than how they portray them as women in brothels, international sex trafficking, etc.

Get writing!
.-= Wicked Bitch´s last blog ..Look Who Came Out on Top, Chump =-.

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Maddnessofme November 28, 2009 at 9:19 pm

You might want to be careful how you spell tilting. I was all ready to be titlated. An unfortunate typo.

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Rachel November 29, 2009 at 1:09 am

Write your book for the teen market, they love drama and intrigue and throw some romance in.

But replace Husbandrinka with a foxy character like one in Twilight. You’d have something to hold over his head then. Does he want life to imitate fiction?

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Kathy November 29, 2009 at 2:59 am

Your husband is a smart man at mile 3 to admit his wrong doings and a peaceful drive to boot. I would totally read your story….keep writing.

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Heather, Queen of Shake Shake November 29, 2009 at 6:51 am

Look. I’ve read Stephenie Meyers, all the way up to page 285. It was a painful process, one that had me seriously thinking of suicide from the sheer torture of her atrocious writing. I don’t care to ever read another word she writes.

You, on the other hand, I love every word. I read every single post you write and am actually disappointed if you don’t post. Your writing make me want to be a better writer, whereas Stephenie made me want to quit.

You’ll get published.
.-= Heather, Queen of Shake Shake´s last blog ..Love is All You Need to Make Alabama Beat Auburn at Beards-Eaves Stadium =-.

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Catherine
Twitter:
November 29, 2009 at 8:14 am

Spite is an excellent motivator. Maybe he’s unwittingly doing you a favor. You’ll get those brilliant pages written, and when you’re on the talk show circuit, bowling everyone over with your wit, you can sweetly say “I owe it all to Husbandrinka”; and only your blog readers will know enough to smirk on your behalf.
.-= Catherine´s last blog ..Reader Response =-.

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marathonmom November 29, 2009 at 10:38 am

I promise not to read anyting about Jews, Russias, or curtains until after I have read your book!
.-= marathonmom´s last blog ..Do you feel it too? =-.

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Maureen@IslandRoar November 29, 2009 at 10:52 am

Wow, glad he wised up so early on in your trip; smart man!
I would so read ANYthing you write AND line up the night before to buy it. (okay, maybe I’d send someone to line up for me the night before. But I’d get up early to take their place the next morning…)
And of course Americans would line up to read about hysterical jews escaping the Iron Curtain. America was built on all kinds of hysterical escaping people; we’re really just a country of Drama Queens.
.-= Maureen@IslandRoar´s last blog ..A Little Sugar… =-.

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Sue November 29, 2009 at 11:54 am

I love your blog. You always make my day. You are hilarious. One day I want to write a book too about my life and you inspire me. Such a funny, funny lady with my kind of humor. By the way, I have never commented on your blog, but here I am. Just want to make your day as you do mine everyday. And when you don’t post, crap, well maybe tomorrow.

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peajaye
Twitter:
November 30, 2009 at 10:27 am

Dear Husbandrinka:
Here is (imo) a better way to respond to Marinka when she looks to you for encouragement…
My dearest wife, of course your writing is unique, insightful and humorous. And you should continue to pursue it, no matter how an unfair, hostile, and often indifferent world may react to it. Yes, in a better world, you would already be a universally-acclaimed, published author, traveling the globe and enlightening the masses with your distinctive insights into the human condition. Alas, the world is as it is. So whether your writing is recognized or not within our lifetimes, I want you to know that I support you 100%. I also appreciate all you do every day to transform our household into a warm, loving home. Your talent is only surpassed by your beauty, and I am thankful every day for the way you enrich my life.

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Sorry For The Convenience
Twitter:
November 30, 2009 at 1:39 pm

I will be lining up at my local bookstore at midnight to buy your book. In a Motherhood in NYC t-shirt, if necessary.
.-= Sorry For The Convenience´s last blog ..Passed tents =-.

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Suzy
Twitter:
November 30, 2009 at 1:42 pm

“””I could see this conversation ending in an arrest.”””
I can borrow this line, right?
.-= Suzy´s last blog ..Here Are Things That Will Guarantee You A Hospital Visit =-.

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Audrey at Barking Mad November 30, 2009 at 9:12 pm

Men…you have to train them up the right way or just make them shut up! *lol* Way to teach ‘im Marinka!

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